dutchster
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dutchster: if you bring a dog to our first date i will propose to you on the spot
dutchster: if u dont eat girls out but you expect head ur a little bitch
dutchster: I just saw a gif of anal sex on my dashboard, but thankfully the blog’s avatar was pixelated for my safety
dutchster: have a puppy lounging on your dash
dutchster: when someone is doing the dishes and you bring in your own
dutchster: you have two hands. i have two butt cheeks. coincidence? i don’t think so
dutchster: life may be rough but boobs are really really soft Yup yup
dutchster: get rich or die 9 times trying
dutchster: homophobia is stupid. who the hell is afraid of homes
dutchster: when you have the hiccups while trying to sleep
dutchster: cuddles in bed watching a movie would be great right now
dutchster: look at that dog trying to help
dutchster: when you try to flick away a bug but it comes towards you instead
dutchster: imagine if penises could cum chocolate milk
dutchster: i don’t have plans for tonight or the rest of my life if anyone wants to have a drink or get married
dutchster: the best thing about sleeping is the delaying of your responsibilities
dutchster: dating tip #23: find someone who is willing to date you
dutchster: as a serial killer my name would be the suspense so my victims would be like “oh no, the suspense is killing me” and we would both laugh right before i killed them
dutchster: whiteboards are remarkable.
dutchster: how to get laid1. find a couch2. lay on it3. i’m so lonely
dutchster: isn’t it sad how you’re less likely to be considered crazy for uncontrollably crying than if you’re walking down the street singing and smiling
dutchster: when my post with a typo in it gets tons of notes
dutchster: “this pizza is gonna go straight to my butt” i say as i grab the pizza and slap it against my butt
dutchster: this was the result of a korean high school having no rules for their senior photos
dutchster: when i see a clothing item i like and check the price tag
dutchster: when they say the name of the movie in the movie
dutchster: i accidentally spilled monster energy drink in my fish bowl and now my goldfish won’t stop saying “bro” and keeps flexing it’s fins
dutchster: do twins ever realize one of them was unplanned
dutchster: These are the little things that make you happy (via)
dutchster: why do shampoo bottles weigh hardly anything but when you drop them in the shower they turn into a meteor
dutchster: don’t you hate it when money goes away when you spend it
