dutchster
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dutchster: Do the birds and bees ever hang out or do they just fuck every time?
dutchster: dutchprostitute: flappy bird WATCH THIS AND ENABLE CAPTIONS!
dutchster: worldpeaces: can we just take a second to realize that there are 14 year olds that weren’t born in the 90’s. just fucking let that sink in. what the fuck does he want now
dutchster: remember when we had to get out of bed to get on the internet
dutchster: i’m very sorry for making you aware of your own blinking at this moment
dutchster: staff: Everyone with a top hat is now marked for account deletion. This is the only way we could destroy this horrible website. Happy April Fools day.
dutchster: heydiddlehiddleston: does your brain ever just produce disturbingly violent thoughts out of nowherelike terrible, horrible, thoughtsfor no reason at alland then you snap out of it and you’re like i don’t want to kill my momwhat the fuck
dutchster: do parents feel offended when their kids call themselves ugly like hey those are my genetics you’re talking about
dutchster: shakespeare’s dating tips: use romantic metaphors and beautiful rhymes on your girl until she’s yours dress up as a guy, befriend your man and ask him what he thinks about you kill her cousin, then yourself (because you love her so
dutchster: i’m sleeping under the christmas tree because i’m a gift
dutchster: get rich or die 9 times trying
dutchster: do twins ever realize one of them was unplanned
dutchster: trying to sleep during the summer
dutchster: he looks so pleased in the end “DID YOU SEE THAT?”
dutchster: when you try to flick away a bug but it comes towards you instead
dutchster: I just saw a gif of anal sex on my dashboard, but thankfully the blog’s avatar was pixelated for my safety
dutchster: don’t you hate it when money goes away when you spend it
dutchster: if dinosaurs are dead then explain how they casted the dinosaurs for jurassic park
dutchster: when my post with a typo in it gets tons of notes
dutchster: santa saw your text posts now you’re all getting dictionaries for christmas
dutchster: adults seemed way adultier when i was a kid
dutchster: this can’t get any more golden retriever
dutchster: oh
dutchster: sometimes my selfies don’t get the attention they deserve but it’s ok because van gogh wasn’t appreciated in his time either
dutchster: SHOUTOUT TO BEES BEING WILLING TO KILL THEMSELVES JUST TO INCONVENIENCE A HATER, THAT’S HARDCORE AS FUCK
dutchster: *takes you to my bedroom*so yeah this is where all the magic happens*points to shelves full of harry potter items*
dutchster: you guys don’t know how much life these comics give me (x)
dutchster:when ball is life
dutchster: *walks out of wifi range*let’s go home
dutchster: look at that dog trying to help
dutchster: i think dogs would make bad astronauts because space is a vacuum and they are kinda scared of those
dutchster: surprisebitch: i dont get it but i’ll reblog it anyway cause it has 30,000 notes
dutchster: i like christmas underwear because it makes my butt look like a present you have to unwrap
dutchster: homophobia is stupid. who the hell is afraid of homes
dutchster: as a serial killer my name would be the suspense so my victims would be like “oh no, the suspense is killing me” and we would both laugh right before i killed them
dutchster: HUMAN HOW DID YOU GET STUCK UNDER THERE WAIT LET ME HELP YOU
dutchster: a guide on how to make me love you1. buy me food2. tell me i’m funny3. tell me i’m hot4. it’s okay to lie5. i’m still hungry
dutchster: you know what would suck? being at a rave and trying to find your friend called molly
dutchster: and the battle continues
dutchster: i have such a busy schedule. i may have to cut out “studying” to make room for “crying over tv shows” and “4 hour nap”
dutchster: trying to find someone you like who likes you back
dutchster: don’t forget these
dutchster: when you have the hiccups while trying to sleep
dutchster: hey do you mind taking your clothes off? i’d like to see how angels hide their wings.
dutchster:when they say the name of the movie in the movie
dutchster: HOW ADORABLE IS THIS KITTY
dutchster: when i see a clothing item i like and check the price tag
