dutchster
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dutchster clips
dutchster: *talk to cat*cat says “meow” *talk to cat" cat purrs*talk to cat"cat says “this is your purr-pose”cat has given you a quest: “collect 20 cans of tuna”*collect and give 20 cans of tuna to cat**you have been rewarded
dutchster: get rich or die 9 times trying
dutchster: he looks so pleased in the end “DID YOU SEE THAT?”
dutchster: bagmilk: i think its time to bring this back
dutchster: oh
dutchster: when i see a clothing item i like and check the price tag
dutchster: he looks so pleased in the end “DID YOU SEE THAT?” Che stronzetto XP
dutchster: HOW ADORABLE IS THIS KITTY
dutchster: russianmetero: i am typing with russian accent how the hell did you force me to read that with a russian accent
dutchster: do celebrity pets know they’re pets of celebrities
dutchster: when you have the hiccups while trying to sleep
dutchster: an octopus is just a wet spider
dutchster:when they say the name of the movie in the movie
dutchster: maybe the reason i can’t sleep is because there are enemies nearby
dutchster: i accidentally spilled monster energy drink in my fish bowl and now my goldfish won’t stop saying “bro” and keeps flexing it’s fins
dutchster: and the battle continues
dutchster: roachpatrol: nentindo: there’s a news headline generator that mixes words from real news headlines and they are fucking golden these sound completely legit
dutchster:one good way to prevent a cold when you feel it coming on is to drink a glass of orange juice and then jump off a bridge before it gets worse
dutchster: don’t you hate it when money goes away when you spend it
dutchster: coldfrontius: this entire description is like a classic white boy text jesus fucking christ do you get unlimited female attention because they try to stay as far away from you as possible so they don’t have to smell the disgusting axe
dutchster: why haven’t i seen this on tumblr yet this is so goodKaty Perry - Dark Horse (Sang in 20 Styles)
dutchster: i hate it when you’re driving at night and you can’t tell if a car is flashing their lights at you or just hitting bumps
dutchster: in a way i feel bad for you americans not having free healthcare, but if you did, breaking bad would’ve never existed so thank you for that
dutchster: moooom, i think the milk has gone bad“i only bought it yesterday sweetie”yeah well, take a look at this…*milk is running a meth lab in the fridge*
dutchster: when i skip ahead a video and it ends up taking longer to buffer than if i had just sat through it
dutchster: don’t forget these
dutchster: why aren’t gynecologists called private investigators
dutchster: niknak79: She was just too light to keep the seat down, so she watched the entire movie like this wait this actually seems pretty comfy… i should try this some time
dutchster: when you have a stuffy nose and it finally clears
dutchster: when you try to flick away a bug but it comes towards you instead
dutchster: “i’m not a feminist, i love guys!”
dutchster: tastefullyoffensive: My kind of party. (via _cooper) Wait! there’s more! this is the best thing ever
dutchster: trying to sleep during the summer
dutchster: life may be rough but boobs are really really soft
dutchster: when people in front of me walk slow
dutchster: “he’s making that face again isn’t he”
dutchster: isn’t it sad how you’re less likely to be considered crazy for uncontrollably crying than if you’re walking down the street singing and smiling
dutchster: remember when we had to get out of bed to get on the internet
dutchster: zoeyskravitz: i’ve been staring at this gif of the rock rolling his eyes for like 5 minutesit’s such a perfect eyeroll. like it’s not sloppy or anything. his eyes make a perfect half rotation followed by a quick look of ‘whatever’
dutchster: hey guys i think i got a pretty nice tan over the summer, what do you think? before: after:
dutchster: one of my favorite hobbies is not being a parent
dutchster: when you need to pee but there’s already someone using the toilet
dutchster: as a serial killer my name would be the suspense so my victims would be like “oh no, the suspense is killing me” and we would both laugh right before i killed them
dutchster: hemonizer: So many things happening in this gif: JLaw sitting on Meryl Streep’s lap Bradley desperately wanting to take the selfie himself Ellen accidentally checking Jennifer’s boobs out Brad Pitt and Lupita’s bro head collision
dutchster: trying to find someone you like who likes you back
dutchster: if dinosaurs are dead then explain how they casted the dinosaurs for jurassic park
dutchster:i don’t have plans for tonight or the rest of my life if anyone wants to have a drink or get married
dutchster:you’ve never had sex? don’t worry it’s just like riding a bike. except it’s a penis. and neighbors don’t like when you do it in the driveway. Lmfao 😅
