dutchster
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dutchster:you’ve never had sex? don’t worry it’s just like riding a bike. except it’s a penis. and neighbors don’t like when you do it in the driveway. Lmfao 😂
dutchster: don’t forget these
dutchster: trying to sleep during the summer
dutchster: when they say the name of the movie in the movie
dutchster: masturbation is a touchy subject
dutchster: when someone talks about tumblr in real life
dutchster: “big boobs don’t count if you’re fat” neither does a big dick if half of it is your personality
dutchster: homophobia is stupid. who the hell is afraid of homes
dutchster: imagine if penises could cum chocolate milk
dutchster: this can’t get any more golden retriever
dutchster: dutchprostitute: flappy bird WATCH THIS AND ENABLE CAPTIONS!
dutchster: and the battle continues
dutchster: if a puppy killed my entire family, looked me in the eyes and whispered “you’re next”, i’d still say “awww look at his cute fluffy little legs! his lil feet!”
dutchster: oh
dutchster: as a serial killer my name would be the suspense so my victims would be like “oh no, the suspense is killing me” and we would both laugh right before i killed them
dutchster: he looks so pleased in the end “DID YOU SEE THAT?”
dutchster: do parents feel offended when their kids call themselves ugly like hey those are my genetics you’re talking about
dutchster: when you try to flick away a bug but it comes towards you instead
dutchster: a couple seconds before that
dutchster: relahvant: stunningpicture: That time I added a bit too much bubblebath to the tub. that’s a shower… definitely a bath
dutchster: handing over the planet to the next generation like
dutchster: [via]
dutchster: russianmetero: i am typing with russian accent how the hell did you force me to read that with a russian accent
dutchster: when it’s cold outside
dutchster:i accidentally spilled monster energy drink in my fish bowl and now my goldfish won’t stop saying “bro” and keeps flexing its fins
dutchster: HUMAN HOW DID YOU GET STUCK UNDER THERE WAIT LET ME HELP YOU
dutchster: buttermilkqueen: buttermilkqueen: whats cooler than being cool? according to wiki answers, anywhere between 10°C and 13°C is cool, so i guess the answer would be 9°C and lower alright alright alright alright alright alright alright
dutchster: trying to find someone you like who likes you back
dutchster: hey guys i think i got a pretty nice tan over the summer, what do you think? before: after:
dutchster: why do shampoo bottles weigh hardly anything but when you drop them in the shower they turn into a meteor
dutchster: tastefullyoffensive: My kind of party. (via _cooper) Wait! there’s more!this is the best thing ever
dutchster: THIS IS HILARIOUS, ADORABLE AND DISTURBING AT THE SAME TIME
dutchster: worldpeaces: can we just take a second to realize that there are 14 year olds that weren’t born in the 90’s. just fucking let that sink in. what the fuck does he want now
dutchster: staff: Everyone with a top hat is now marked for account deletion. This is the only way we could destroy this horrible website. Happy April Fools day.
dutchster: fat-amy-for-president: albamentum: drunktrophywife: being a girl is really fucking expensive hahahahhhAHAHAHAHhahahahahhahahah WHO IS PAYING FOR YOUR DATES hahahahhhAHAHAHAHhahahahahhahahah WHO IS PAYING FOR OUR TAMPONS, PADS, ULTRA
dutchster: “he’s making that face again isn’t he”
dutchster: this was the result of a korean high school having no rules for their senior photos
dutchster: theirs: a zoo of dogs dressed up as other animals
dutchster: a guide on how to make me love you1. buy me food2. tell me i’m funny3. tell me i’m hot4. it’s okay to lie5. i’m still hungry
dutchster: our bodies are actually compulsive hoarders. they keep fat stored “just in case they need it later”
dutchster: HOW ADORABLE IS THIS KITTY
dutchster: i was gonna buy these socks but i already have enough people trying to date me as is. it would become unmanageable :/
dutchster: a guilty dog
dutchster: when i see a clothing item i like and check the price tag
dutchster: did she just jump off a bridge for a fucking vine
dutchster: if you can lift one eyebrow quizzically and not the other, just know i want to have sex with you
dutchster: i accidentally spilled monster energy drink in my fish bowl and now my goldfish won’t stop saying “bro” and keeps flexing its fins
dutchster: if dinosaurs are dead then explain how they casted the dinosaurs for jurassic park
dutchster: cuddles in bed watching a movie would be great right now
dutchster:theirs: a zoo of dogs dressed up as other animals
dutchster:spoiler alert: santa claus is coming to town
![dutchster: [via]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/893bae54d4e43b3f6089b97070c4df77/tumblr_mnddyvCojy1r3k73wo1_250.png)
