dutchster
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dutchster clips
dutchster: when you have the hiccups while trying to sleep
dutchster: “you’re cute”cute like you wanna pinch my cheeks or cute like you wanna make love to me
dutchster:theirs: a zoo of dogs dressed up as other animals
dutchster: i’m glad bo shares my thought on this
dutchster: a guide on how to make me love you1. buy me food2. tell me i’m funny3. tell me i’m hot4. it’s okay to lie5. i’m still hungry
dutchster: sometimes my selfies don’t get the attention they deserve but it’s ok because van gogh wasn’t appreciated in his time either
dutchster:when they say the name of the movie in the movie
dutchster: who knows what tomorrow will bring but i hope it will bring puppies
dutchster: Do the birds and bees ever hang out or do they just fuck every time?
dutchster: why
dutchster: do parents feel offended when their kids call themselves ugly like hey those are my genetics you’re talking about
dutchster: existentialismandmakeup: miikachu: onlylolgifs: High Five New York See? Now this is a prank. Something silly and good intentioned and actually funny. Not groping poor, unsuspecting girls. that sign is so accurate right now it’s scary
dutchster: why is it so hard for me to just sit down and focus on what i- *googles puppies wearing christmas hats*
dutchster: masturbation is a touchy subject
dutchster: no one’s an atheist 30 seconds before an orgasm
dutchster:spoiler alert: santa claus is coming to town
dutchster: heydiddlehiddleston: does your brain ever just produce disturbingly violent thoughts out of nowherelike terrible, horrible, thoughtsfor no reason at alland then you snap out of it and you’re like i don’t want to kill my momwhat the fuck
dutchster: i’m sleeping under the christmas tree because i’m a gift
dutchster: i like christmas underwear because it makes my butt look like a present you have to unwrap
dutchster: life may be rough but boobs are really really soft
dutchster: when the teacher is looking at me while talking
dutchster: this twitter is too precious for this world
dutchster: hold on. you want me, a MAN, to buy this body wash which doesn’t have the word “SPORT” in the name and it doesn’t say FOR MEN anywhere? nice try, pal
dutchster: SHOUTOUT TO BEES BEING WILLING TO KILL THEMSELVES JUST TO INCONVENIENCE A HATER, THAT’S HARDCORE AS FUCK
dutchster: homophobia is stupid. who the hell is afraid of homes
dutchster: trying to sleep during the summer
dutchster: one of the rarest and most powerful things you can possibly express in our culture is loving yourself
dutchster: when you try to flick away a bug but it comes towards you instead
dutchster: jpkitty: In college, we don’t say “I love you”, we say “I have 5 essays, two finals, and 3 group projects due in the next 8 days” which translates to “I would like to be crushed by a train” and I think that’s pretty cool.
dutchster: russianmetero: i am typing with russian accent how the hell did you force me to read that with a russian accent
dutchster: trying to send a dick pic like
dutchster: so sometimes i wake up when having a weird dream and write them down and i just
dutchster: i’ve seen enough porn to know what they’ll expect of me at this job interview
dutchster: why do shampoo bottles weigh hardly anything but when you drop them in the shower they turn into a meteor
dutchster: it’s way too cold to get out of bed and participate in life
dutchster: don’t forget these
dutchster: damn girl i was looking at you from across the street and your beauty was so intimidating that you’re still across the street i’m talking to myself right now
dutchster: you know what would suck? being at a rave and trying to find your friend called molly
dutchster: i have such a busy schedule. i may have to cut out “studying” to make room for “crying over tv shows” and “4 hour nap”
dutchster: remember when we had to get out of bed to get on the internet
dutchster: don’t you hate it when money goes away when you spend it
dutchster: he looks so pleased in the end “DID YOU SEE THAT?”
dutchster: the sexiest thing about a girl are her eyes. she gotta have nice eyes. i won’t date a girl with no eyes. the more eyes the better 👽😘
dutchster: could you please put your crying kid on vibrate
dutchster: look at that dog trying to help 😂😂😂😂😂😂 THE DOG!!!!!
dutchster: HOW ADORABLE IS THIS KITTY
dutchster: trying to find someone you like who likes you back
dutchster: Shame on you!
dutchster: have you ever tried calling a cat? then you must know how ineffective it is unless you’re offering food? yeah the same goes for catcalling women
