dutchster
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dutchster clips
dutchster: i just saw this bird fly down from the heavens in a majestic sweep and then it tried to eat a rock. what a beautiful loser
dutchster: whisper the three words every girl wants to hear: “let’s order pizza”
dutchster: when the doorbell rings and i know it’s the pizza guy
dutchster: when i don’t understand a post and check the caption for an explanation but find only puns there
dutchster: when you try to flick away a bug but it comes towards you instead
dutchster: theirs: a zoo of dogs dressed up as other animals
dutchster:when they say the name of the movie in the movie
dutchster: what
dutchster: Do the birds and bees ever hang out or do they just fuck every time?
dutchster: trying to sleep during the summer
dutchster: when they say the name of the movie in the movie
dutchster: shakespeare’s dating tips: use romantic metaphors and beautiful rhymes on your girl until she’s yours dress up as a guy, befriend your man and ask him what he thinks about you kill her cousin, then yourself (because you love her so
dutchster: troyesivan: me tbh well yeah that IS you
dutchster: as a serial killer my name would be the suspense so my victims would be like “oh no, the suspense is killing me” and we would both laugh right before i killed them
dutchster: why do shampoo bottles weigh hardly anything but when you drop them in the shower they turn into a meteor
dutchster: hey guys i think i got a pretty nice tan over the summer, what do you think? before: after:
dutchster: he looks so pleased in the end “DID YOU SEE THAT?”
dutchster: when someone is doing the dishes and you bring in your own
dutchster: imagine if penises could cum chocolate milk
dutchster: apparently i’m a 5 month old baby
dutchster: this twitter is too precious for this world
dutchster:*pushes**pushes**pushes**pushes**pushes**door says pull*
dutchster: this was the result of a korean high school having no rules for their senior photos
dutchster: don’t you hate it when money goes away when you spend it
dutchster: don’t forget these
dutchster: i know like 50 words in french i’m coming to steal your girl
dutchster: there is a combination of digital 0’s and 1’s resulting in a video of you having sex with your celebrity crush
dutchster: heydiddlehiddleston: does your brain ever just produce disturbingly violent thoughts out of nowherelike terrible, horrible, thoughtsfor no reason at alland then you snap out of it and you’re like i don’t want to kill my momwhat the fuck
dutchster: i accidentally spilled monster energy drink in my fish bowl and now my goldfish won’t stop saying “bro” and keeps flexing it’s fins
dutchster: so how’s this position?“yeah i like it”are you sure“yeah you can thrust me”
dutchster: when you look inside the toilet before you flush danduhmanblr you
dutchster: and the battle continues
dutchster: when i’m a pinky toe and i see the corner of a piece of furniture
dutchster: i don’t even need to know the context of this drawing
dutchster: when i finish my course assignment only to remember i have exams next week
dutchster:look at that dog trying to help
dutchster: get rich or die 9 times trying
dutchster: “you’re cute”cute like you wanna pinch my cheeks or cute like you wanna make love to me
dutchster: guys i got this new dildo but i’m not sure how it works?
dutchster: when i see a clothing item i like and check the price tag
dutchster: “he’s making that face again isn’t he”
dutchster: look at that dog trying to help
dutchster:if I had to pin point my biggest flaw, it would probably be me
dutchster: society: dare to be different!society: whoa not THAT different you freak
dutchster: “Gay people are ruining the sanctity of marriage”
dutchster:life may be rough but boobs are really really soft
dutchster: his brother lost a bet and has to dance for 30 minutes. strangers join in to dance with him
dutchster: you know what would suck? being at a rave and trying to find your friend called molly
