and i was like
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and i was like clips
dry-cereal: dry-cereal: dry-cereal: once i was sick so i got a prescription for codeine cough syrup and when i went to pick it up the pharmacist was like “you really won’t need all of this” and i was like “it’s ok i could just sell it at
celestial-time-sorceress: I heard some guy say that abortion was wrong, and I was just like, “It’s not your uterus.” and he was like, “What’s a uterus?”
gayestdisneyprincess: celestial-time-sorceress: I heard some guy say that abortion was wrong, and I was just like, “It’s not your uterus.” and he was like, “What’s a uterus?” Is this real
starfieldcanvas: vangohing: my best friend just called me to ask what color he should wear to prom and I was like “um?? idk??” and he was goes “well we have to match, so like what color is ur dress??” but he never asked me to go so I was kinda
diverg: What was my reaction? I remembered they called me and said that I was doing the part. And I was like: “Yeahhh!” But there was no one to celebrate with and so I went to the bar on my own and got shitfaced.
mohamedlamine: “I was really stressed and busy,” John told The Guardian. “I was just like: ‘I’d just be happier single right now,’ and she was like: ‘No.’
taylorscunt: the-oneifeed: browngirlblues: One time I was having sex and the girl I was fucking pulled out her phone and I got so mad I pulled it out of her hand and threw it on the floor and she was like I WAS JUST TRYING TO PUT ON MUSIC DAMN how
thefestivebraidsoffili: adamakara: rudycooper: what if there was a show where every character was gay and you had the token straight guy character who acted really stereotypical and was into cars beers and women and everyone was like OH STRAIGHT LARRY
alice-lost-in-wonderlust: THERE ARE THESE GUYS WALKING AROUND MY NEIGHBORHOOD SELLING SHIT AND THE ONE GUY LOOKED LIKE JARED PADALECKI AND I GOT EXCITED AND OPENED THE DOOR AND I WAS LIKE “DAMMIT. YOURE NOT SAMMY.” AND ALL HE SAID WAS “If I had
turing-tested: kerbett: turing-tested: i thought jackalopes were real till i was like 19 because my mom had a figurine of one growing up and i remember asking what it was and she was like. “a jackalope.” but didnt mention that they weren’t real
vxlkyree: stanleyraymondkowalski: thor is a problematic loki apologist remember when Loki was dead in the comics so Thor was like “im gonna bring him back” and everyone was like “umm thor is that a good idea remember all the murder he did” and
vangohing: my best friend just called me to ask what color he should wear to prom and I was like “um?? idk??” and he was goes “well we have to match, so like what color is ur dress??” but he never asked me to go so I was kinda confused so I told
moreglitter:fullmetalfisting:fullmetalfisting:My boyfriend has to go to the ren fair for work but i can come and he wanted to do a matching costume. He was like “I want to be Frodo” and I was like “oh cool I can be Shelob” which was, apparently,
sweetbabyraysgourmetsauces: I was at a party last night and this weird nerd guy was screaming and punching the wall whenever he missed at beer pong and I cornered him later and I was like “Hey, can I give you some constructive criticism?” And he was
aloneveganreed: celestial-time-sorceress: I heard some guy say that abortion was wrong, and I was just like, “It’s not your uterus.” and he was like, “What’s a uterus?” Of course.
ominouslymathematical: vangohing: my best friend just called me to ask what color he should wear to prom and I was like “um?? idk??” and he was goes “well we have to match, so like what color is ur dress??” but he never asked me to go so I was
fattifatphat: broken-skies-and-angel-wings: This guy I was talking to was saying how women play sports just as well as men, and he said, “One time I was reffing a womens softball game, on the full moon, and -“ And I was like, ” Why does it matter
rudycooper: what if there was a show where every character was gay and you had the token straight guy character who acted really stereotypical and was into cars beers and women and everyone was like OH STRAIGHT LARRY YOU’RE SO FUNNY AND STRAIGHT
thotidiot: So I was shopping today And I was like “don’t get anything too dark, it’ll be spring soon” and then I was like “wait, goth is eternal”
dilfgod: I was watching this porn vid where this guy was walking his dog in a park and this other guy was walking by and he was like hey lets go fuck in those bushes so they went behind the bushes and they were doing their thing and all I could think
snorlaxatives: so earlier today my dad was like “come here a package came for you!” and i was like hm wonder what this could be and when i went to see him he gave me this it was a box of mints GETTING REAL TIRED OF YOUR SHIT DAD
i legitimately forget about the option to buy things in store. i was telling my best friend that i’m gonna order an iphone on friday and she was like ‘dude just go to the att store’ and i was like OH SHIT THATS RIGHT YOU CAN DO THAT.
dirtyberd: Last weekend NYG was out of town at a bachelor party and went to a few strip clubs. I casually mentioned something he said about a strip club to one of my friends and she was like, “What?! A strip club?! Are you ok with that?!” I was like
adamakara: rudycooper: what if there was a show where every character was gay and you had the token straight guy character who acted really stereotypical and was into cars beers and women and everyone was like OH STRAIGHT LARRY YOU’RE SO FUNNY AND
finallyahumanbeing: so earlier today my dad was like “come here a package came for you!” and i was like hm wonder what this could be and when i went to see him he gave me this it was a box of mints GETTING REAL TIRED OF YOUR SHIT DAD
mooncaps: rudycooper: what if there was a show where every character was gay and you had the token straight guy character who acted really stereotypical and was into cars beers and women and everyone was like OH STRAIGHT LARRY YOU’RE SO FUNNY AND
mihlayn:one time i left a can of drink in my lounge overnight and the next day i went to take a sip but then i was like “wtf no it’s gonna be flat” so i went and poured it in the sink and it was like 2% liquid 98% ants and it’s been 3 years and
skywlkrleia:Carrie Fisher said, “You know when people come up to you for a picture?” And I was like, “Isn’t it really intimidating?” She told me she hugged a fan once and [felt the fan’s] heart was racing. She was like, “That’s what
dry-cereal:dry-cereal: dry-cereal: once i was sick so i got a prescription for codeine cough syrup and when i went to pick it up the pharmacist was like “you really won’t need all of this” and i was like “it’s ok i could just sell it at school”
unsuccessful-metalbenders: OH MY GOD I AM CYING RIGHT NOW MY BROTHER DIDNT HAVE ANY CLASSES TODAY AND HE WAS BORED AND HE KEPT TEXTING ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL AND I WAS GIVING HIM ATTITUDE AND SASS TELLING HIM TO LEAVE ME ALONE AND HE WAS LIKE OH FINE
taint3edcakes: fattifatphat: broken-skies-and-angel-wings: This guy I was talking to was saying how women play sports just as well as men, and he said, “One time I was reffing a womens softball game, on the full moon, and -“ And I was like, ”
so I love being a dick to my brother and my mom bought this creepy man’s head for Halloween so I put it in his bed and set it up so it looked like a person. he said goodnight and went upstairs and all I heard was “god damn it!” then
L M F A O so my brother is driving me and my friend back from the protest we went to and Muh calls him and I expected they’d be going out to smoke hookah and my brother was like “so you want me to drop you guys off?" and I was like
radiobread2: GUYS I GOT PULLED OVER TONIGHT BY A COP AND HE SAID I WAS RECKLESSLY DRIVING BUT REALLY IM JUST A BAD DRIVER AND I WAS LIKE IM SORRY IM ON MY WAY HOME FROM WORK AND HE’S LIKE OH WHERE DO YOU WORK AND I SAID CHICK FIL A AND HE WENT OFF
e-x-p-l-o-r-i-n-g: dry-cereal: dry-cereal: dry-cereal: once i was sick so i got a prescription for codeine cough syrup and when i went to pick it up the pharmacist was like “you really won’t need all of this” and i was like “it’s ok i could
temperamentaljudgement: it was gonna just be a quick bust shot of mama y.d carrying teeny peri but then @dokels was like, “i dare you to draw the whoooole thing” and i was like “aight fuck you ill do it” and here it is a quick warm-up drawing
abbymacaroni: Yet ANOTHER collab with @shitandsticks! She sent me a message saying how she was working on this super long drawing and when she showed it to me, I was instantly like PLZ LET ME COLOR THIS GURL. And she was like UM ABSOLUTELY??? Next
![skywlkrleia:Carrie Fisher said, “You know when people come up to you for a picture?” And I was like, “Isn’t it really intimidating?” She told me she hugged a fan once and [felt the fan’s] heart was racing. She was like, “That’s what](https://64.media.tumblr.com/681373bc8af86087db3d8a213337cd45/tumblr_p0ee5hyjh11r2ciapo5_250.gif)
