and i was like
NSFW Tumblr
find and i was like on porn pin board
and i was like clips
littlemammal: at work last week i was ringing up this guys order and when he signed i was trying to read his signature and i was like “is your last name Duck?” and he got really nervous and he was like “oh nobodys ever uhh noticed before…. i
chakuufoxdragon: So expanding on the ‘gems might be computer programs or something’ theory that came up because Amethyst glitched like a computer when her gem was cracked. What is their deal with credit? Garnet was like ‘it was my idea to get the
soot-answers: Today in math we were doing some sort of geometry problem And I’m just sitting there Then I saw a triangle and I was like; “Ah. The scalene triangle” And my math teacher was all like “Looks like someone has a tumblr.” I was scREAMING
tiny-septic-box-sam: trashfirefallon: trashfirefallon: I had sex in a graveyard and was walking around nude cause it was like 80 degrees and I was all sweaty and it was like midnight or whatever. So this car rolls up out of nowhere and I’m stark
theroguefeminist: gooberascendant: gorgoon: Today I was talking to my dad and I referred to myself as his son(I’m genderfluid btw) and he said “Today’s a Son day huh?” And I was like “yeah” And he was like “huh, I thought today was
dingdongyouarewrong: one time i was in a pub in london and saw lemonade on the menu and i was like mmmm lemonade!!! but i’ve been to australia and been tricked before so i was like hey is this actual lemonade lemonade or is it just sprite and she was
burningonyx: gorgoon: Today I was talking to my dad and I referred to myself as his son(I’m genderfluid btw) and he said “Today’s a Son day huh?” And I was like “yeah” And he was like “huh, I thought today was a Saturday, not a Sunday”
dickclops: my dad just asked came over and asked me what i was so focused on drawing and this was on the screen and he was like, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SOME SORT OF SICK JOKE. WELL IT ISNT FUNNY YOUNG LADY. and so i was like, “no dad, its not what
theroguefeminist: gooberascendant: gorgoon: Today I was talking to my dad and I referred to myself as his son(I’m genderfluid btw) and he said “Today’s a Son day huh?” And I was like “yeah” And he was like “huh, I thought today was a
trashfirefallon: I had sex in a graveyard and was walking around nude cause it was like 80 degrees and I was all sweaty and it was like midnight or whatever. So this car rolls up out of nowhere and I’m stark fucken naked. I’m also white as fuck.
tiny-septic-box-sam: trashfirefallon: trashfirefallon: I had sex in a graveyard and was walking around nude cause it was like 80 degrees and I was all sweaty and it was like midnight or whatever. So this car rolls up out of nowhere and I’m stark fucken
pipistrellus:kuzujuk:When I was little I thought all large predators had to be either cats or dogs, so I was like “is a bear a cat or a dog?” and my mother was like “it is a bear” and I was like“No.” #ironic update: the order carnivora is
everets: i got this toothbrush at a convenient store cause i had to brush my teeth before my dentist appt. and it was behind the counter. and the guy was like.. do u want a certain color? and i was like i dont care. and this pink one was the first one
trashfirefallon: trashfirefallon: I had sex in a graveyard and was walking around nude cause it was like 80 degrees and I was all sweaty and it was like midnight or whatever. So this car rolls up out of nowhere and I’m stark fucken naked. I’m also
wlllow: Some lady called in and wanted me to shop for her cause she was on crutches and I was like lol ok and when she came I walked her stuff out and put it in her car and she was like ur so nice who do I call to tell them how good u are and I just
kitfisto: oh actually the funniest part of my dream was that i saw these two people i went to primary school with and i was trying to get past them and one of them looked at me and was like “WOAH, fat titties” and i was like “can you please let
egberts:my five year old brother was just like “whys there a sun” and im distracted so i was like “idk” and he was like “UGH ITS JUST A MYSTERY BIG GIANT LIGHT BULB” and im laughing so hard omfg
zaynmalif: this grown ass man at the mall was talking to me and he goes “what are you like 21, 22?” and i was like “no I’m 17………..” and he was like “Even better haha” LKIEK HOW NASTY CAN A PERSON BE
computernoise: I had a dream I was watching keeping up with the kardashians and Kylie had gotten cyborg legs like they had taken the legs of an AT-ST from Star Wars and put them on her lower half so she was like 11 feet tall and Kim was like “I think
official-daft-punk: ok so the other day i was at sears. I was in the baby section. Im standing there looking at clothes and a lady who works there comes up and is like “oh are you expecting?” And i was like “uhhhh” and because im a dumbass i was
reggaeairhorn:serpentine913: “We were all running because we heard the gunshots and then she stopped and she was like, ‘I think I got shot.’ And I was like, ‘Hadiya, please stop joking,’” Best friend Klyn Jones said. “She was like ‘No
beyoncebeytwice: a few days ago this kid promised he’d let me see his english homework today and when i asked him about it he was like oh wait i dont have it and i was like “wow you really let me down im heartbroken” and he was like “oh are you
arrwstaki: medoysa: “Every day I travelled to King’s Cross and back. Coming home late at night, it was like a party and I felt like the tube was mine and I was there to take the pictures. “ Bob Mazzer διαδρομες, ανθρωποι και
cool. so today my dad was supposed to clean me and my sisters bathroom like he does every week but since i’m money hungry right now i said i’d clean it so i did and i was like will i get paid?!?! and he was like okay we’ll see how good
dingdongyouarewrong:one time i was in a pub in london and saw lemonade on the menu and i was like mmmm lemonade!!! but i’ve been to australia and been tricked before so i was like hey is this actual lemonade lemonade or is it just sprite and she was
NO BECAUSE THEN ITS AWKWARD AND I GET SO UPSET. one time, when i was 12 i went to an all night skate at the rink but when i got there I figured out it was the next Saturday and there was like 20 people there and I was by myself for like half an hour and
vulcandeathgrlp: my spanish teacher was doing a presentation and was like “hijos, that means children. for example:’ el familia weasley tiene siete hijos’ the weasely family has 7 kids” and i was like “dont you mean six” and like 10 people
