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a-sweetheart-being-40-deactivat:A friend called this morning and said he was on the phone with his adult son and he asked how his wife was feeling. She has a bad tooth ache. The son said, “She feels pretty bad. I should give her a facial.”I laughed
tumnerd: My son saved 120$ in a year, here’s what he decided to do with it: Saturday morning, my son walked into my room and said he wanted to use his money to help the homeless. I asked him what he had in mind, and he said he wanted to make them
“Have a safe flight, and have a great time sweetheart,” I said to my wife as we broke our embrace by the security line at the airport. Stephanie smiled and said, “I’m sure I will baby. I love you.” She gave me one last
15yearold: today my teacher said “take out something to do when you’re done with your quiz” and some kid turned around to the girl next to him after he finished and said “can i take you out so i can do you?” my teachers face waS SO RED I THOUGHT
feed-me-fitness: amburgurandfries: enterthedreamatorium: If you’re a boy who walked up to younger/nerdier girls in the hallway during high school and said “hey my friend thinks you’re cute” and then burst into giggles along with said friend
marvelobsessions: At the dinner table, my sister asked all of us what color we thought her boyfriend’s shirt looked like. After we all said gray, she turned to him and said “now tell them what color you think it is” and he just quietly replied
burntlikethesun: Ron had taken out a lumpy package and unwrapped it. There were four sandwiches in there. He pulled one of them apart and said, ‘She always forgets I don’t like corned beef.’ ‘Swap you for one of these,’ said Harry, holding
wibblywobblytimmeywimmeystuff: ahpart: today in class i was putting on lip balm and this guy said “no matter how much makeup you put on you’ll still be ugly” so i just looked at him and said “no matter how much you act like a dick yours won’t
howdomermaidsfuck: this is sucriya. she accessorizes her catholic school uniform with a different scarf every day, which every teacher writes her up for. when my principal walked up to her and pointed to her scarf and said “what’s this?” she said
imqu3llyb: hoes-nd-clothes: sahltytequila: always luv this photo Isn’t this the photo chief keef posted after fucking that girl from bad girls club No that was a fake facebook chief keef said, and nancy tweeted and said she’s never met chief
sgmermaid: Latest update 5th April. Thurs noon met up a married milf. She said i looks fit as I told her I enjoy push up alot. Then tease and challenge me.. Can do push up whole she lie flat or not? I took her challenge and said.. She will never felt
dajo42: laid is pronounced like paid but not said and said is pronounced like bread but not bead and bead is pronounced like lead but not lead
sethmeyers: A 7 year old boy in Virginia was suspended from school after he pointed his pencil at a fellow student and said, “bang!” Even worse, he pointed at another student and said, “would not bang.”
jtlovecraft: My mom have always had an open relationship. So I talked to her about my wife and I failing to conceive a baby and said I was getting tested. She said the best test would be me filling her pussy with my cum because she was ovulating. We
anacondom: this is sucriya. she accessorizes her catholic school uniform with a different scarf every day, which every teacher writes her up for. when my principal walked up to her and pointed to her scarf and said “what’s this?” she said “sister,
mufflover78: Mom called and said she had a flat tire . when I got there she was naked and said she just needed to be pumped up so I pumped her good !!
sassy-bullshit: tumnerd: My son saved 120$ in a year, here’s what he decided to do with it: Saturday morning, my son walked into my room and said he wanted to use his money to help the homeless. I asked him what he had in mind, and he said he wanted
mongrelove: “A lot of people just look and see skin color. I’ve actually had people ask me was I Black or was I White first. A White gentleman came up to me and said ‘I thought you might be White, but then I saw your lips.’ One girl said
dashingthroughitall: tumnerd: My son saved 120$ in a year, here’s what he decided to do with it: Saturday morning, my son walked into my room and said he wanted to use his money to help the homeless. I asked him what he had in mind, and he said
faellil: Last night In my dream some girl gave me a dirty look so I turned to her and said “if you’ve got something to say, say it” she rolled her eyes and I said “what? Are you gonna call me a fat bitch?” She walked away….
I am not happy that everyone is now saying that Colton Haynes is gay.Has he said that he is? No. He simply said there was nothing to hide about having a sexual history with a man. People are inferring the shit out of it and making all these assumptions
t-erricola: and-i-said-was-out
t-erricola: only-xthree: Love, Sensual, Sexual n’ Romance blog ← More ♥ and-i-said-was-out
t-erricola: hablandoconlasestrellas: Posdata: Te quiero 😢 and-i-said-was-out
t-erricola:mattsai: Te amo! and-i-said-was-out
stoplook: ::this sexy white guy came up to me and said he loved black men.. he said he’d love to take me out. I didn’t wanna have sex yet, but I couldn’t resist. He just kept telling me how sexy I looked and how he’d love to make sure everyday
balticbeauty69: balticbeauty69: Pete said “Bet you can’t handle this.” and patted the gear shifter of our van. i laughed and said back “You must be joking, that thing is as fat as an orange!” But over the next few days I kept looking at it
bcrude: Dee apologized to Mr. Crude for missing so many classes and doing so poorly on all the tests and said she wanted to earn her “A” in his class. “I want you to make me really earn it,” she said. “Make me know I’m taking the easy way
stonekidman:My mom felt bad when I couldn’t get a girlfriend my freshman year and said I could use her whenever I got horny; she said masturbating makes guys have smaller dicks. By the time I was a junior, I was still living at home and she was working
