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and said clips
gaymish: I just bought this collar from Expectations and was on the tube with my friend and there were these four big beary guys and my friend went up to them and said “can one of you collar my friend please?” And one of them said “you need to
owlmylove: i was ringing up a winter hat for a man the other day and i said “oh, it’s so cute! i love the pom-pom on the top.” and he smiled and agreed and a few seconds later he picked the hat out of the bag and said “you called this a pom-pom?”
lokiloo: So today this family came into the restaurant and I while I was serving them, their son saw my Iron Man and Captain America charms and said ‘Avengers! I love the Avengers!’ I smiled and asked who his favorite was, and he said “Iron Man!’
zapidos: My little brother and I were swimming and my dad walked out and said “it’s trash day tomorrow you know what that means” and my brother looked at me dead in the eyes and said “it’s time for you to go.”
steadymobbing: steadymobbing: i asked my mom how she met my dad and she said at a college basketball game this guy got distracted and got hit by the ball and got a huge bloody nose and he came up to her after the game and said “i was distracted by
cheeseburgerdanvers: angryampersand: so I was wearing my captain marvel sweatshirt and a tiny old lady came up to me and said she liked my shirt and she wished there was an avenger like that and I said “but there is! In the comics!” and her eyes
huffinnpuffintogetridofthemuffin: I was at Target yesterday and this little girl wanted to buy Halo 4, but this lady came up to her and said video games are for boys. This lady had a box of trix in her cart and so the girl grabs the box and said ‘and
My little sister got home from school and she was all sulky so I asked how her day was and she grumpily said “fine.” and then propped her leg up on the arm of a chair and said “but look at what happened.” and pointed to a teeny tiny little scratch
equalistsfuckshitup: story time when i was 16 my mom and i were watching ellen and my mom says ‘oh look my favorite lesbian!’ and i said ‘i thought i was your favorite lesbian?’ and she just stared at me for a moment and said ‘oh ok. ‘
initiala: A little girl in my 4th grade class came up to me after recess and said, “I got married at recess!” and I said “Oh? I didn’t know anyone was ordained under the age of twelve.” and she asked me what ordained meant and I explained and
cleffairie: my little brother whos 7 was saying girls can’t be scientists and my little sister whos 5 looked at him offended and said “princess bubblegum is a girl and shes a scientist, jonny!” and he said “oh yeah…ok nvm” and they continued
i-am-a-lethal-giraffe: owlmylove: i was ringing up a winter hat for a man the other day and i said “oh, it’s so cute! i love the pom-pom on the top.” and he smiled and agreed and a few seconds later he picked the hat out of the bag and said “you
I’m so fuckin tired. The man fuckin said “I have to do it. You rape our women and you’re taking over our country. And you have to go.” The gunman literally went into a BLACK CHURCH and said those words and killed people. Bruh, wtf. And I’m
nosdrinker: aneverydaynerd: I was at Target yesterday and this little girl wanted to buy Halo 4, but this lady came up to her and said video games are for boys. This lady had a box of trix in her cart and so the girl grabs the box and said ‘and
doubtful-seer: horsesforfraublucher: thedevilstongue: olivialaurel: My dad and I were in a hotel and he tried the coffee and smiled and said “ahh, it’s like making love in a canoe.” and I said, “it’s that good?” and he stopped smiling
horsesforfraublucher: thedevilstongue: olivialaurel: My dad and I were in a hotel and he tried the coffee and smiled and said “ahh, it’s like making love in a canoe.” and I said, “it’s that good?” and he stopped smiling and looked me
settherecordbent: aneverydaynerd: I was at Target yesterday and this little girl wanted to buy Halo 4, but this lady came up to her and said video games are for boys. This lady had a box of trix in her cart and so the girl grabs the box and said ‘and
paaulrex: taycreatesmemories: Jack and went up the hill to go smoke some marijuana Jack got high and dropped his fly and said do you wanna said yes and dropped her dress and then they had some fun Silly forgot her pill and then they had a son
aneverydaynerd: I was at Target yesterday and this little girl wanted to buy Halo 4, but this lady came up to her and said video games are for boys. This lady had a box of trix in her cart and so the girl grabs the box and said ‘and trix are for
babesargent: remember the white dress i wore all through that film? george came up to me the first day of filming, took one look at the dress and said: “you can’t wear a bra under that dress.” “ok, i’ll bite,” i said. “why?” and he said:
lonesomemother1:My son said, “Mom, I have figured out the difference between you and the other girls I have had sex with.” When I asked him what that difference was he said, “You love me for who I am mom.” I smiled up at my sweet son and said,
megans-fox: Remember the white dress i wore all through that film? George came up to me the first day of filming, took one look at the dress and said: “you can’t wear a bra under that dress.” “Ok, I’ll bite,” I said. “Why?” and he said:
“Oh, hi! I didn’t see you,” Case said to Mr. Crude. “Have you been standing there long?”He smiled and said, “Sorry if I startled you. I was just… admiring your bikini bottom. Yeah, that’s it!” he said with a wink and a chuckle.“Yeah,
Sabrina looked over at Mr. Crude and said, “I feel like an old lady in this dress!”“You’d better take it off, young lady! Let me help you,” he said with a grin.Sabrina laughed and said, “I knew I could count on you, old man.”
Sabrina grinned as she looked at Mr. Crude and said, “You were kinda rough there, old man!”“Really? How do you mean, young lady?”“Just look at what happened to my top! I’m almost afraid to look down below,” she said. He chuckled and said, “I’ll
“It may not be an ultra sexy top,” said Kaitlyn, “but it does show off my boobs. What do you think of the shorts?”Mr. Crude chuckled and said, “I think both the shorts and the top need to go.”“Okay,” she said, “are you going to take
When Mr. Crude arrived at Marissa’s house, she welcomed him and said she was happy who could make it.“Am I early? I thought you said this was going to be a party,” he said.“You’re not early, and yes, this is going to be a
privatefamilytime: When I just stood there speechlessly, she smiled at me and said, “Allow me to start unwrapping your present.” She undid the top of her bodice and said, “Like I already said, happy 18th birthday, little brother. Time for big sissy
cuckmesohard: Your wife called you “ a freak” and said “no” after you finally opened up to her and told her your fantasy. She said no but her body said something else. Was it your honesty? Was it your fantasy? Or was it the fact she was living
obsessively-blogging:My parents have been married for 19 years and together for 20 and I asked them what they were doing for valentines and they both looked so disgusted and said it was commercial and they hated it and then my dad said to me that every
bcrude:Lexi was naked within seconds of entering her loft. She looked back at Mr. Crude and said, “Hurry up, or I’m starting without you!”“Oh, really? I thought you said you wanted anal sex,” he said.“I do, and if you
Miley Cyrus says, “When I shared a picture of my tattoo on my Twitter page and said, “All LOVE is equal,” a lot of people mocked me —they said, ‘What happened to you? You used to be a Christian girl!’ And I said, ‘Well, if you were
