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futanari-becki  said:loudlysillystranger said: Can i see you riding reverse cowgirl on your lovely girlfriend??Very fun position, though I could only see a ceiling and not my sexy gf!http:/transeroticart.tumblr.com  said:Here is a fine work by an artis
‘Do your nude photoshooting with some old guy’ they said.‘Old guys have limp dicks and no sex drive’ they said. ‘Young photographers like to fuck models, but old photographers not’ they said.How wrong they were!
Go work in the nursing home they said… Nobody will be catcalling and molesting you they said…Old men are not interested into sex at all they said…(Source: MIMK-001)
babesargent: remember the white dress i wore all through that film? george came up to me the first day of filming, took one look at the dress and said: “you can’t wear a bra under that dress.”“ok, i’ll bite,” i said. “why?” and he said:
“You were staring at another man’s cock when Dave knocked,” Mike said, “but you hadn’t sucked it. Not yet.”“Right,” she said, “and Tamara said, ‘Oh just ignore it,’ and then we heard Dave’s voice asking if anyone was inside.”“How
“Pull out your tits,” Mike said, “and pose like you did in Dave’s picture. Open your mouth, like you’re about to suck cock. Yeah… that’s it. Is that what you’re about to do, Ash?”“Isn’t it obvious?” she said.“Well,” he said,
lonesomemother1:My son said, “Mom, I have figured out the difference between you and the other girls I have had sex with.” When I asked him what that difference was he said, “You love me for who I am mom.” I smiled up at my sweet son and said,
michmanblr: He knew she was nervous and shamed - He pointed to the young man mowing the lawn - and made her look, and said “do you find him sexy?” She nodded and blushed - He said “I think i will make you call him in and seduce and please him”
rosalui: meso-mijali: rosalui: youngstero: I’m at a wealthy middle-aged christmas party with my best friend a woman came up to me and said “you have to try the gouda” and I said “is it firm?” and she said “yes I wouldn’t have anything
countless-chances: today my teacher said “turn to the person next to you and tell them the best thing that happened to you today.” So this girl turned around and said “my pregnancy test came back negative” and I just said two packs of skittles
babesargent: remember the white dress i wore all through that film? george came up to me the first day of filming, took one look at the dress and said: “you can’t wear a bra under that dress.” “ok, i’ll bite,” i said. “why?” and he said:
robert-downey-jesus: I SERVED A KID DRESSED AS IRON MAN TODAY AND I ASKED HIM WHAT HIS NAME WAS AND HE SAID IT WAS TONY AND HIS MUM SHOOK HER HEAD AND WAS LIKE NO HIS NAME IS JESSE AND I LOOKED BACK AT THE KID TO GIVE HIM HIS CHANGE AND SAID ‘HAVE
hopesstevenuthoughts: Everyone thinks that Garnet is this perfect being with no flaws but did you all look over in Gem Glow when she said getting the cookie cats were “all her idea” and when amethyst said it was everyone’s, she said not really?
adventuretime: Mama Said“Mama Said,” written and storyboarded by Kent Osborne & Kris Mukai, premieres tonight at 8/7c on Cartoon Network. It’s the fourth of five big Adventure Time debuts this week.Kris designed this title card, and Joy Ang
sabrinagrimm: sabrinagrimm: WHEN I WAS 4 I WAS ON SESAME STREET AND I HAD AN INTERVIEW WITH GROVER AND HE ASKED ME HOW IT FELT WHEN I FALL OFF MY BIKE AND I CHUCKLED DARKLY AND SAID “I DON’T FALL OFF MY BIKE” AND HE LOOKED AT THE CAMERA AND SAID
doubtful-seer: horsesforfraublucher: thedevilstongue: olivialaurel: My dad and I were in a hotel and he tried the coffee and smiled and said “ahh, it’s like making love in a canoe.” and I said, “it’s that good?” and he stopped smiling
buttalecki:when i was in primary school the head teacher stood up in assembly and said ”who can tell me the hardest word to say” so i put my hand up and said “antidisestablishmentarianism” and the principal said ”no the correct answer is the
be-blackstar: Amber Rose said she’s coming out with a self-help book called, “How to Be a Bad Bitch” and Charlamagne said, “How you gonna teach Gabourey Sidibe to be a bad bitch?” and DJ Envy said, “that’s impossible.” I’m glad Amber
megans-fox: Remember the white dress i wore all through that film? George came up to me the first day of filming, took one look at the dress and said: “you can’t wear a bra under that dress.” “Ok, I’ll bite,” I said. “Why?” and he said:
meladoodle:My 5 year old niece has just started to learn about death, she said to my dad “you’re gonna die before me” and he said “not necessarily… you could get hit by a bus” and she stopped for a moment and said “no… I’m very careful”
buttalecki: when i was in primary school the head teacher stood up in assembly and said “who can tell me the hardest word to say” so i put my hand up and said “antidisestablishmentarianism” and the principal said “no the correct answer is
tubularfruits: Yesterday, I was doing a puzzle at my uncle’s house and my mom said that we had to leave. So, I stared at my uncle dead in the eyes and said “Carry on my wayward son.” Then I picked up a puzzle piece and said “There’ll be piece
ricopurobueno: freaky-wife-dp-gangbang: When we went out for our date I had plans to double fuck my wife she said only if him could fuck her pussy I said deal she then backed out and said baby you will share me I said sure why not she said you don’t
dirtypawsandwanderlustdreams: When I first said I wanted to travel, mother jokingly said, ‘Take me with you.’When I said I wanted to explore, brother scoffed and said, ‘Try reading a map.’ When I said I wanted to discover, father raised an eyebrow
meso-mijali: rosalui: youngstero: I’m at a wealthy middle-aged christmas party with my best friend a woman came up to me and said “you have to try the gouda” and I said “is it firm?” and she said “yes I wouldn’t have anything less”
buttalecki: when i was in primary school the head teacher stood up in assembly and said ”who can tell me the hardest word to say” so i put my hand up and said “antidisestablishmentarianism” and the principal said ”no the correct answer is
fancynewbeesly: When they called me and said I got the role, I said ‘Who is Jim? Did you cast John Krasinski?’ and they said ‘Yes’ and I started crying because I knew it would be good. I can’t do Pam without him. In the way you need the right
nachashim: today a first grader walked up to me, set a piece of paper down on the table in front of me, and said “homework time! it’s your homework.” and i said “alright, what do i have to do for homework?” and he said “hmmm… draw the
Mr. Crude lowered his camera from his eye and said, “You look uncomfortable, Sabrina! What’s wrong?”Sabrina rolled her eyes and said, “I’ve got sand in my thong, dammit!”He scanned the area and then said, “You could take it off.”Sabrina
After inviting Mr. Crude in, Angela got down on the floor and then looked up at him and said, “I hear you enjoy anal sex.”He smiled as he said, “Yes, you heard right. Do you enjoy it?”Angela smiled and said, “I hope to find
submissivecatalyst: A co-worker came up to me and said “I heard you wanted a kitten.” And I was shocked…because I had only said that to my best friend and no one else. But I said yes, then gave my reasons for also not wanting one. As it turns
disposableyoungslut: My ex-boyfriend texted me and said we should talk. When I picked him up he said he really missed me, that he was sorry for the abuse and that he wanted me to move back in. I was elated and quickly agreed, at which point he said we
nightwing18681: Ummmm….. Babe something feels different said your girlfriend. You look at her and said “ holy shit”. Your girlfriend said “what is it”. Babe your boobs they got bigger you said. She looked down “ oh my god” she said loudly.
