and said
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yessiraustralia:She’d told me how sensitive her nipples were.“They always have been. Most men give your boobs a squeeze but really don’t know how to touch you properly,” she said.“Well I look forward to learning how to touch you,” I said.And
marvelobsessions: At the dinner table, my sister asked all of us what color we thought her boyfriend’s shirt looked like. After we all said gray, she turned to him and said “now tell them what color you think it is” and he just quietly replied
sassy-bullshit: tumnerd: My son saved 120$ in a year, here’s what he decided to do with it: Saturday morning, my son walked into my room and said he wanted to use his money to help the homeless. I asked him what he had in mind, and he said he wanted
neilnevins:Had a dream that McDonald’s had a big ad campaign that just said “WE HAVE IT” in black cryptic writing. So I went to a drive thru and said “I saw the sign. Can I have it” and the speaker was silent for a solid ten seconds before saying
feed-me-fitness: amburgurandfries: enterthedreamatorium: If you’re a boy who walked up to younger/nerdier girls in the hallway during high school and said “hey my friend thinks you’re cute” and then burst into giggles along with said friend
sethmeyers: A 7 year old boy in Virginia was suspended from school after he pointed his pencil at a fellow student and said, “bang!” Even worse, he pointed at another student and said, “would not bang.”
methlabrador: on my way out of the gym the cute girl working at the front desk said “did you have a good workout?” and i froze up and said “thanks, how are you”
marvelobsessions: At the dinner table, my sister asked all of us what color we thought her boyfriend’s shirt looked like. After we all said gray, she turned to him and said “now tell them what color you think it is” and he just quietly replied “dark
daddy4ulittlegirl: Daddy stopped me after class one time and said, “By the way…you have left your filthy panties left at my place. You will come to my place pick them up and then take them with you. Ok?” I said, “Yeah ok.” When I went to
ironically-on-fire: dajo42: laid is pronounced like paid but not said and said is pronounced like bread but not bead and bead is pronounced like lead but not lead
dajo42: laid is pronounced like paid but not said and said is pronounced like bread but not bead and bead is pronounced like lead but not lead
anotherdoctorwhofangirl: one time when i was 6 my mom caught me trying to eat pure sugar out of the container so she stopped and said “Would you like to have something even sweeter?” and of course little naive 6 year old me said yes yes i would so
beniseragaki: Now I’m just thinking about Kouao family stuff Imagine Aoba being incredibly attracted to hot dad Koujaku. like Koujaku’s being a big dumb cutie and letting their daughter play with his hair and he’s got a bunch of messy pigtails
fherthus: quintessence-of-dust: felicityperhaps: Kacy Catanzaro: the first woman in history to qualify for Mt. Midoriyama. I just need everyone to watch this video [x]. She’s a 5 foot, 100 lb gymnast and she beasts through this insanely difficult,
marsincharge: My friend said Adele hit peak white ally: she cried about how important Lemonade was and how good it was and said she didn’t deserve the award then walked away with it anyway.
bellygangstaboo: “we don’t really know how this stuff affects people” are you serious? TAKE WOMEN SERIOUSLY AND YOU WOULD.
nastypigslut: I sent this pic to my boyfriend… and said I’m getting you this for Valentines Day… He asked “The dildo or the boy?” I said “The Dildo its cheaper and lasts longer” aidsfukka: ☣ ♥ Ian Jay’s only idea of “rubber”
My good friend hit me up and said she was craving Filipino fried chicken. Knowing i cant have any she said she’ll buy me spaghetti there too. I did not know we were going to little Phillipines in Queens. She bought me pastries at a bakery, and a meal
homotrekual: omfG my spanish flatmate just turned to me and said ‘i need to ask you something embarrassing’ so i sort of said oh yeah sure no problem and he was like ‘people keep telling me they are having 'two sex’?’ '…sorry?’
beartier: my mom said ‘Hitler was a penis potato’ and i have never been more confused in my life until she looked at me like i was stupid and said ‘dictator… penis potato… god its like you’re not even my daughter’ i am so fucking done
feed-me-fitness:amburgurandfries: enterthedreamatorium: If you’re a boy who walked up to younger/nerdier girls in the hallway during high school and said “hey my friend thinks you’re cute” and then burst into giggles along with said friend then
fandomsandfeminism: burnieplease: So Shia LaBeouf came out and said that he was raped during his #IAMSORRY performance, and this is one of the first things that people said on it. Not to mention that the article that featured these tidbits started out
amburgurandfries: enterthedreamatorium: If you’re a boy who walked up to younger/nerdier girls in the hallway during high school and said “hey my friend thinks you’re cute” and then burst into giggles along with said friend then I really hope
enterthedreamatorium: If you’re a boy who walked up to younger/nerdier girls in the hallway during high school and said “hey my friend thinks you’re cute” and then burst into giggles along with said friend then I really hope you’re doing badly
markkruffalo: today i was in hot topic with my mom and there was a bra with Simba on it so I asked her “want a lion king bra?” she said “why would i?” so I put it in front of my chest and said “hakuna ma tatas” she had to leave the store
katy-l-wood: I went to Michaels the other day to get all the Halloween goodies and there was a lady in her early thirties there with a cart LOADED with stuff. She looked over at me and said: “My husband said I’m only allowed to decorate one room of
soupforit: He gestured at your daughter then gestured at his cock. She tapped you on the shoulder and excitedly said “daddy, quick pull over.“ Not knowing why you quickly pulled over. She rolled her window down looked into this man’s eyes and said
foxmouth: “A lot of people just look and see skin color. I’ve actually had people ask me was I Black or was I White first. A White gentleman came up to me and said ‘I thought you might be White, but then I saw your lips.’ One girl said to me
cal1brations: so my friend said very loudly to me, with a group of other history majors “yeah i’m not gonna vote bc i’m sure hillary will win” literally all six of us looked at her and said “vote” and she goes “ehhh, maybe i will,
anacondom: this is sucriya. she accessorizes her catholic school uniform with a different scarf every day, which every teacher writes her up for. when my principal walked up to her and pointed to her scarf and said “what’s this?” she said “sister,
beyhive1992: “I met Beyoncé, which was one of my dreams. She asked to meet me, and i went and said hi to her. It was crazy, she took my breath away. She said to me my voice is like butter.So i’m done for life now, i don’t need to do anything
pimpmymom: Mom went down to the hotel lounge a few minutes before me, order a glass of champagne and waited. I showed up and said, ‘What is a classy lady like you doing in a place like this, mom?’ Under her breath she said, ‘If you want to fuck
The fact that you called her many dirty names and said a lot of negative things you’re still hanging out with her like you never said such things. Now we all know whose the liar and two face now. Hope you won’t carry that side of you when
arcanum-order: dajo42: laid is pronounced like paid but not said and said is pronounced like bread but not bead and bead is pronounced like lead but not lead This fucked me up at the end.
roxydreams22: bcrude: Mr. Crude tied Elizabeth Anne on top of Lily and said, “You might as well get acquainted. You’re going to be like that for a while.” Lily looked at Elizabeth Anne and said, “Either you’re really turned on or you should’ve
littlegypsydance: When I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, he jokingly said, “Pizza, video games, and pussy.” I just rolled my eyes and said, “Typical. Well, we’re having dinner together that night so don’t make any plans!” He
apearl14th:REMEMBER HOW IN THIS IS US THE BOYS WERE AROUND THE CAMPFIRE AND SAID “DO YOU THINK WE’D BE THE SAME WITHOUT ONE OF US?“ AND THEY ALL SAID “NO.”
stonekidman: My mom felt bad when I couldn’t get a girlfriend my freshman year and said I could use her whenever I got horny; she said masturbating makes guys have smaller dicks. By the time I was a junior, I was still living at home and she was working
bigstixxxandsloppyslits: www.bigstixxxandsloppyslits.tumblr.com Hard Boy: At the bar she said she was feeling my vibe. She liked my confidence and said she could tell I was man enough to give her what she wanted. She needed a real man to take her and
ahpart: today in class i was putting on lip balm and this guy said “no matter how much makeup you put on you’ll still be ugly” so i just looked at him and said “no matter how much you act like a dick yours won’t get any bigger”
![fherthus: quintessence-of-dust: felicityperhaps: Kacy Catanzaro: the first woman in history to qualify for Mt. Midoriyama. I just need everyone to watch this video [x]. She’s a 5 foot, 100 lb gymnast and she beasts through this insanely difficult,](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b3a9d8d171bd118ad634025c2981a2cd/tumblr_n8s3yi57bQ1r2etgxo1_250.gif)
