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joanhello2: lynati: randomslasher: lemonsharks: berlynn-wohl: discochurch: Adult things arent NEARLY as complex as I thought they were growing up I just walked into bank of america and said im here to open a checking account and they said ok and
lemonsharks: berlynn-wohl: discochurch: Adult things arent NEARLY as complex as I thought they were growing up I just walked into bank of america and said im here to open a checking account and they said ok and opened me a checking account If you
shegsybellsshegsybells: emmagraceful: so my baby nephew just pointed at the wireless router and said “what dat emmie?” and I said “that’s the internet!” because I didn’t really know how to explain it and then he kissed it the child is the
jokeboyfriend: jokeboyfriend: i said to my little sister “gods dont die” and my brother ran up to me and whispered in my ear “some do” like he knew for sure hes 6 im so fucking frightened for my life update: i put him to bed and said goodnight
korillaz:i wore my gorillaz dare shirt today and someone said “i like your shirt, what anime is it from?” and i just didn’t care enough and said “naruto”
discochurch: Adult things arent NEARLY as complex as I thought they were growing up I just walked into bank of america and said im here to open a checking account and they said ok and opened me a checking account
padalesexy: I got Misha on the phone at work and when we first started talking one of the kids came up to me and said “Miss. Heather I need to use the bathroom………are you on the phone with your boyfriend?“ and Misha said through the line
peetatoast: weirdbutnotunusual: “I brought that back, I threw it in there,” she [Elizabeth Banks] said of the line, which was unscripted. “I did it, and Francis called cut, and I went over to him, and said, ‘You have to keep that
epicracharaptor: transquadricpalesexual: roachpatrol: leosboots: Lady Eboshi was awesome. You know why? Because she looked at a town full of abused and exploited women and said “Fuck this shit” And they said “Look lady these girls are just
sirtarantino: a guy walked into the board room and said “hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling” and i just stared at him and coldly said
sissykristin:You’ll feel better admitting you are a sissy cocksucker and want to suck this cock! Go on say it! We met in a bar. I drove her home and then went in for kiss. She stopped ma and said, “ You know I have a cock?” I Said, “I hope so.”
theannieplanet:theannieplanet:before i started dating my boyfriend i had a dream that he asked me out and he said “what should i call you instead of boyfriend/girlfriend because youre agender” and i looked him straight in the eye and said “the vista
phoenixisdabest: one-time-i-dreamt: I was walking in a park and saw an old man sitting under a tree. I joined him and said, “Oh wise old man, give me some wise old man advice.“ He looked into the distance and said, “In a room full of gunmen,
stynalane: childofearthandstarrysky: stynalane: I was checking out at Walmart, and as I was reaching for my bags I said, “Happy Holidays!”And the cashier leaned in like she was sharing a secret and said “Merry Christmas.”So I smiled politely
animeteenager: When I was in 6th grade I was going through my emo phase so one day I came to school wearing all black and my teacher said “What’re you all dressed up for? Going on a hot date?” and in the saddest voice that i could muster I said
ladymalchav: padalesexy: I got Misha on the phone at work and when we first started talking one of the kids came up to me and said “Miss. Heather I need to use the bathroom………are you on the phone with your boyfriend?“ and Misha said through
danisnotonfire: OKAY FOR SOME REASON JOHN BARROWMAN WAS ON MY PLANE DRESSED AS AN AIR HOSTESS GIVING OUT ICE LOLLIES AND I WAS LIKE WTF AND SAID ‘this is now the best day of my life’ AND HE SAID ‘bet you didn’t think Captain Jack Harkness would
pussylipgloss: remember when trilla vanilla made those lip synching videos and she did blade by earl sweatshirt and said nigga twice and looked unsure of herself while she said it lmao
Melanie walked up to Mr. Crude and said, “You know what I like best about this top?”“What’s that, Melanie?” he replied.“You can easily reach underneath it and grope my boobs.” There was a pause and then she said, “Seriously. You can
Maya kissed Gia passionately and then said, “I can still taste Mr. Crude’s cock on your lips.”Gia stared into Maya’s eyes and said, “You can probably taste his cum in my pussy, too.”Maya giggled and replied, “You just want me to go down
redheadsareamazing-3: Ginger stopped as she rode past Mr. Crude. She then turned towards him and said, “I named my bike saddle after you.”He laughed and asked why.As she lifted her skirt up over her ass she said, “Because it’s hard and gets me
When Mr. Crude brought the morning coffee to Riley, she was still half-asleep. “You ready to wake-up and drink your coffee, Riley?” he asked. She opened her eyes, puckered her lips and said, “Drink cum, yeah!”He laughed and said, “You’re
Sabrina was lying on the bed when Mr. Crude came in. She smiled and waved her feet around in the air and said, “I’ve been waiting for you! Come see my new lace panties!”He smiled back at her and said, “Okay, but once I’ve seen them, they’re
Sabrina cupped one of her breasts, stared at Mr. Crude and said, “Come on. You know you want to give these babies a good squeeze!”He laughed and replied, “Yes, and that’s not all I want to do with them!”Grinning now she said, “As long as
As Sabrina began to make something to eat, she turned to Mr. Crude and said, “I’m out of something I really need.”“Want me to go to the store and get it?” he asked.Sabrina grinned and said, “You don’t have to go to a store to get it.”“I
Noticing that Megan’s shorts were already unbuttoned and the zipper was most of the way down, Mr. Crude smiled at her and said, “It looks like you’re ready to perform your special project!”Megan smiled back and said, “Oh, I am. I really am.”
While hiking with Mr. Crude, Lacy stopped, looked around and said, “I think we’re all alone now… in case you want to get frisky.”He chuckled and replied. “You know me! What would you like to do?”Smiling she said, “And you know me!
Jane slid over the back of the chair so Mr. Crude would have a good view of her ass and then said, “I’ll bet if you stand behind this chair you’ll be able to push your cock into me.”He smiled at her and said, “And if I try, I just might be
Sabrina stared into Mr. Crude’s eyes and said, “You’ll never guess who isn’t wearing a bra under her sweater!” She then started laughing and said, “Well, I’m sure you can guess. Come slip your hands inside and feel for yourself, old man.”“You
Sabrina put on her new headphones and loaded a game onto her new Xbox. She smiled at Mr. Crude and said, “Break time for you, old man!”“What? You don’t want me to make you squirt tonight, young lady?”Sabrina grinned and then said, “Maybe
The instant Mr. Crude pulled out of Nicole’s pussy, she pulled up her thong nice and snug.“Perfect!” she exclaimed.He chuckled and said, “Thanks! I try.”Nicole giggled and then said, “Well, you always do a great job, but I meant how my thong
After checking-in to the hotel room, Sabrina quickly removed her dress and sat on the chaise. Sheepishly, she looked over at Mr. Crude and said, “Happy Father’s Day, old man!”He smiled back at her and said, “Thank you, young lady, but I’m
adultstars-sfw:Kate Rich Kate sat on the edge of her bed, patted the mattress and said to Mr. Crude, “Come lie down and get comfortable. I’m about to give you the best blow job you’ve ever had.”He smiled as he walked towards her and said, “I
Sabrina placed her hands on the wooden slats, turned to Mr. Crude and said, “Okay, old man – do your worst!”“What? What are you talking about, young lady?” he asked.She stepped back and then spread her feet apart some and said, “Take
vizualbeauty: When Fiona saw Mr. Crude’s cock she became very dramatic, placing her hand on her forehead and actually sating, “swoon!”He chuckled and said, “You okay? Still want to perform your special project?”Fiona smiled and said, “I’m
When Mr. Crude saw Kaitlyn he grinned and said, “Now that’s a short skirt! Is there anything underneath it?”Kaitlyn smiled and replied, “Just bare skin. Want to see it?”He chuckled and said, “Sure, why not?”
“Cute Santa caps you’re wearing, Kaitlyn, and strategically placed,” said Mr. Crude.Kaitlyn smiled and said, “And you can’t see one of them… yet.”
When Mr. Crude entered her bedroom, Lexi smiled as she pulled the hem of her dress up slightly and said, “Guess what I’m wearing under my dress!”“Hmmm… your birthday suit?” he responded.Lexi laughed and said, “That’s right! And
adultstars-sfw:Violet Summers As Mr. Crude watched Violet pumped gas into his vehicle, he said, “Don’t forget to wash the windshield, and make sure you get it all this time!”She turned and looked at him and said, “You really enjoy putting me
adultstars-sfw:Lily Larimar, Kiara Cole Mr. Crude stopped and looked at Lily and Kiara and said, “You girls didn’t need to get dressed up for this.”“Maybe not,” said Lily, “but just think how your cum is going to look all over our black
Sabrina looked back at Mr. Crude and said, “If you’d like, I’ll bend over the edge and you can have your way with me, old man.”He laughed and said, “If I’d like! Oh, you know I’d like that, young lady!”
Sabrina stretched, popping open her shorts and exposing some under boob.“What are you looking at, old man?” she asked.Mr. Crude smiled and said, “You, young lady.”Sabrina smiled and said, “Oh, I thought you were looking at
“Okay, Dellie… slip your fishnets down and we can get started on your special project,” said Mr. Crude.Dellie smiled and said, “I cut a hole down there so you can fuck me now and any other time you want. For instance, after class,
Aubrey pulled a dildo out of the picnic basket and said, “I thought we’d just have dessert on this picnic.”Nikki laughed and then said, “and maybe even get in some practice for our special projects for Mr. Crude’s class!
Violet smiled at Mr. Crude and said, “It’s too hot to go outside, even to the pool. Let’s stay inside and play!”“Won’t we get hot if we do that?” he asked.She laughed and said, “I’m sure we’ll
aquino1998: Tina got out of the car and said, “I told you there wouldn’t be any other cars up here, Mr. Crude!”“So, you really want me to bend you over the hood of my car and fuck you?”Tina smiled and said, “You bet
hoaran: btw at dinner tn my mom said harry styles looks like a monkey and my brother looked her in the eyes and said “these meatballs are shitty and youre fucking rude”
turning70fem:momnsonsex: Mom / Son anon confmother-sonMy son is 24. Two months ago he called me and said that he had gotton hurt playing flag football. He said that he tore his groin and that he was on crutches and needed bed rest for a few days. He
justavpdthings: I once said to my therapist after a particularly hard week, “I wish I could just fix all of my problems and move on to live a normal life” And he looked at me and said, “There is no finish line”. Those words felt like a stab
betweenlegs: This guy just walked into mcdonalds and said 20 burgers and the workers just looked at him and said no
mattressblowoutsale: Adult things arent NEARLY as complex as I thought they were growing up I just walked into bank of america and said im here to open a checking account and they said ok and opened me a checking account
n4uticalbliss: mattressblowoutsale: Adult things arent NEARLY as complex as I thought they were growing up I just walked into bank of america and said im here to open a checking account and they said ok and opened me a checking account This gives me
like I’m helping his fucking brother move and they’re like THIS IS A GUY THING I DONT WANT YOU HERE and when darfin said we need beccas help they got pissed and said NO WE DONT NEED HER