thebootydiaries
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thebootydiaries: guys please, I cannot answer all 0 messages
thebootydiaries: can’t stop thinking about that interview where the guy is like “what’s your favourite chick flick?” and robert pattinson goes “chicken run”
thebootydiaries: me: *forgets friends birthdays* me: *confuses memories* me: *forgets own middle name* me, also: hey did you know that all pennies minted prior to 1982 are pure copper pennies and not copper plated and are technically actually worth 2
thebootydiaries: pencandy: free them be strong for mother
thebootydiaries: in math i use this thing called the guess and hope method
thebootydiaries: just when you thought true innovation was dead
thebootydiaries: me at the club
thebootydiaries: me: *swallows my pride and texts first* me: *gets ignored* me: 911 i’d like to report a clown….her name is booboo the fool
thebootydiaries: crush: *walks by* me @ myself: if he looks over, act natural me @ myself: pretend not to see him me @ myself: be casual n cool crush: *glances at me* me:
thebootydiaries: me: wow that guy is attractive me to me: look right past him as if he doesn’t exist
thebootydiaries: ☀️missing the beach☀️ take me back✨
thebootydiaries: when u and bae send a message at the same time <3
thebootydiaries: floccinaucinihilipilificationa is my soul
thebootydiaries: me: *walking casually toward to pet store exit*employee: ma’am, did u or did u not put a kitten in ur purseme:employee: ma’am,me: *slowly taking a kitten out of my purse* i guess u could say the cat is out of the bag haha :) employee:me:
thebootydiaries: boy: wow the moon looks beautiful tonight me: um…wow 😂 tell that whore she can have u. 👋 bye ugly 😂 hope she was worth it
thebootydiaries:me: i’d love to be in a relationship*is shown any kind of affection*me: yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yik
thebootydiaries: um ?? if u don’t wanna marry me why did u reblog my selfie
thebootydiaries: me: i gave him my everything me @ me: ….ain’t nobody ask u to do that tho…..
thebootydiaries:John Green: I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, then all at once.John Green: Chicken nuggets is like my family.
thebootydiaries:*dates my damn self*
thebootydiaries: *it starts raining* me: yes *lighting appears* me: yES *thunders explode* me: YES *raining intensifies* me: YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS
thebootydiaries:relationship goals: having one
thebootydiaries: when boys have bleu eyes <3
thebootydiaries: employer: so what would you say is your biggest weakness? me: probably just like who I am as a person
thebootydiaries: pasta-at-the-disco: thefaultinourfallout: when i was a young boy my father thought I was an eggplant and fed me to the snakes. Sometimes when I see eggplant emoji I still cry alone in the shower.
thebootydiaries:the things i do for u guys
thebootydiaries: funkincronuts: squad goals
thebootydiaries: when i get my paycheck and its ū more than usual
thebootydiaries: nice
thebootydiaries: Me digging your grave.
thebootydiaries: which lana del rey song is this
thebootydiaries: hear noisespause musiccomplete silenceplay musichear noises again
thebootydiaries: adamsjensen: when ur followers are still following u even after u shitpost so much
thebootydiaries: how some of y'all think this works
thebootydiaries: mellarkish: me 2 all my mutuals i sent this to my friends and one of them left the group chat
thebootydiaries: someone finally said it 😩👏👏☕️🐸
thebootydiaries: hell,, hell fire
thebootydiaries: #so much pain in his expression
thebootydiaries:y he look like a lego
thebootydiaries: me @ my son: wolfgang, you were named not after one wolf but a whole gang of wolves,
thebootydiaries: am i annoying & a lil ugly? yes. but will i let that get in the way of doing what i love and being happy?? also probably yes
thebootydiaries: Me on my deathbed: why did that man honk at me on January 4th 2015
thebootydiaries: me: *buys something online* me: me: where is it
thebootydiaries: who did this to him?? who?????
thebootydiaries: one guacamole is equal to 6.0221415×10²³ guacas
thebootydiaries: who did this to him?? who????? This is literally me at this moment lol
thebootydiaries: bf: come over me: i can’t im eating leaves bf: my parents aren’t home me: im a vegan
thebootydiaries: me getting robbed on an elevator: that’s wrong on so many levels haha :)robber:me:robber:me:robber:me: honestly? the fact that u dont appreciate,
thebootydiaries: i am dead inside
thebootydiaries: guys .. wyd 😳
thebootydiaries: appreciation post 4 myself bc im ugly but im trying
thebootydiaries: i have known this guy for literally 1 day i hate this
thebootydiaries: me comparing my follower count to the number of notes on my selfie
thebootydiaries: the-girl-with-many-feels: psychocereals: engorgio-reducio: should i reblog for the caption or the tags is this even real life There is no fucking way this is legit #self harm
thebootydiaries: this took me an hour to make
