thebootydiaries
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thebootydiaries:sorry for the bad posts This is who i am
thebootydiaries:me: i wish someone liked mesomeone: [likes me]me: i must fake my death and lie low for ten years
thebootydiaries:me at 4am: who am i
thebootydiaries:cashier: do you want the receipt?me: yas bitch tell me everything
thebootydiaries:me: texting him first is too desperate. in this age, a modern woman needs to be independent. i am a strong and busy lady. i will restrain myself, and keep myself an enigma.me five seconds later: life is too short to not live your passions
thebootydiaries:Me: why didn’t I get full points for annotationsEnglish teacher: you just wrote “savage” every time Lady Macbeth spoke
thebootydiaries: boy: wow the moon looks beautiful tonight me: um…wow 😂 tell that whore she can have u. 👋 bye ugly 😂 hope she was worth it
thebootydiaries: An emotion: *pokes its head through the mountain of suppression I’ve buried it under* Me, beating it with a stick: Back! Back!
thebootydiaries:me,swimming:wow this is amazing i love the oceanme, when seaweed touches my foot: I imagine death so much it feels more like memory
thebootydiaries:me: wakes upme: ahh what a lovely dayme literally ten minutes later: i have no future and will never be able to pursue my dreams
thebootydiaries:Me: goodnight moonMoon: I cannot sleep, for each fragment of dream is but a tease for fleeting moments that can never beMe: alright
thebootydiaries:someone: what are your plans for the weekendme: who knowsme: (i know)me: (i’m not leaving the house)
thebootydiaries: wow not gonna name any names but SOMEBODY (me) needs 2 calm down!!!!
thebootydiaries:Person: Pokemon Go is lameMe: Don’t talk to me or my 49 ratattas ever again
thebootydiaries:pumpkins: nicethose tiny little mini pumpkins. the small ones. you know what i’m talkin’ about: Really Nice
thebootydiaries:*fight breaks out*me as a principal: Yasss drag her!!
thebootydiaries:Employer: so tell me, why do you want this job?Me: I must survive capitalism
thebootydiaries: hey guys :) did you know 🧐🤔 that ummm 😳 if you don’t reduce reuse recycle ♻️😌 u will catch these hands my friend 👊😡
thebootydiaries:summer: *ends*me: this is halloween THIs is halloween haLLOWEEN HALLOWEEN hallooween haLLOweeenn
thebootydiaries:me: *on my period*me: sometimes u gotta bleed to know that ur alive and have a soul
thebootydiaries: düüde what the fääck she can’t do that to you this is your space this is your ärëä
thebootydiaries:unbuttcrcd-mxngxisms:a dream come true
thebootydiaries:Me:*is doin me*Yall:*are mad*
thebootydiaries:me after 15 seconds of work: i just cant do this anymore
thebootydiaries:me every time tumblr updates: what hideous and unusable monstrosity has the clown patrol foisted upon us this time
thebootydiaries: deadtrash: look at this flower i found, nature is beautiful crazy how nature make dat
thebootydiaries:How I flirt: *stares from distance*
thebootydiaries:me reclining in diamonds and a black velvet dress with a slit up the side on a red velvet couch covered in silk handkerchiefs with a crystal glass full of the finest liquor in one hand and the other thrown over my eyes in elegant anguish:
thebootydiaries: setheverman:sliding into her DMs like 😍😍 why do u keep posting about me who are u
thebootydiaries:me: flicks the lights onall of my insecurities: just standin thereme: immediately flicks the lights back off
thebootydiaries: every night after 10pm my feelings start crawling out, starved, as i beat them with a moderately large stick vigorously hissing “stay back” until i inevitably fall asleep
thebootydiaries:me: im adorable like im literally the cutest person in every room i walk intome 4 seconds later: behold the trash lord
thebootydiaries: When someone calls me attractive
thebootydiaries:Me:makes a reference only i get and then laughs about it because i saw what i did there
thebootydiaries: someone: hey i genuinely care about u and i like u a lot my brain: ?? ? time for Joke?? make Joke??? yes??
thebootydiaries:Follower: *reblogs 3 of my posts in a row*Me: are you flirting with me
thebootydiaries:me: i’d love to be in a relationship*is shown any kind of affection*me: yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yik
thebootydiaries: when boys have bleu eyes <3
thebootydiaries: im disgusted with myself
thebootydiaries: i hope the cabbage man from avatar is having a good day
thebootydiaries: me getting robbed on an elevator: that’s wrong on so many levels haha :) robber: me: robber: me: robber: me: honestly? the fact that u dont appreciate,
thebootydiaries: brownmuva: Elegance and Grace who is she
thebootydiaries: only true 90s kids remember these 😩👌: playing with tamagotchis 😜😜🔥 watching scooby doo 🐶❤️ having movies on vcr 😍 being murdered in the late 1960s to early 1970s by the notorious zodiac killer only to
thebootydiaries: i followed someone and like 2 seconds later they messaged me “are u sure” and honestly if that ain’t me………
thebootydiaries: is staff ok
thebootydiaries:why did tumblr mark my post as nsfw i’m shaking
thebootydiaries:is staff ok
thebootydiaries:Me: *minding my own business*Will.i.am: hit it Fergie!Me: ALL THE TIME I TURN AROUND BROTHER’S GATHER ROUND ALWAYS LOOKING AT ME UP AND DOWN LOOKING AT MY (UH) I JUST WANNA SAY IT NOW - I AINT TRYING TO ROUND UP DRAMA LITTLE MAMA
thebootydiaries: nice
thebootydiaries: thebenwho: ARE WE JUST GOING TO SIT HERE AND IGNORE THE LONGHORN STEAKHOUSE BLOG LOOK AT THESE AWESOME FUCKERS
thebootydiaries: someone: *shows me the slightest sign of affection* me: i would die for u
thebootydiaries: when you hear someone talking about an obsession of yours
thebootydiaries: dog: BARK me (with the same tone and volume): WHAT
thebootydiaries:*it starts raining*me: yes*lighting appears*me: yES*thunders explode*me: YES*raining intensifies*me: YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS
thebootydiaries:Me: I impulsively buy stuff when I’m sadPerson: but you’re always buying stuffMe: *finger guns*
thebootydiaries:me age 12: oh god i missed a two millimeter spot of hair when i shaved i guess i’ll go to the beach in five layers of clothing so no one noticesme now: Hello friends it is i Bigfoot #confirmed
thebootydiaries: when i get my paycheck and its ū more than usual
