thebootydiaries
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thebootydiaries: dennys: Jegg i cant believe i had to see this with my own 2 eyes
thebootydiaries: not 2 be ungrapefruit but……why i look like that……
thebootydiaries: aminaabramovic: every follower give me 1 dollar can’t wait to be Ů richer
thebootydiaries: listen 👂🏼 SWEETIE 🙄✋ i may be UGLY 🙊🙅🏽😤 but at least 💋💯 i’m BROKE 💅🏽💅🏽🐸☕️
thebootydiaries: poplar tundlr blog: haha that moment when u don’t like someone *gif of sad cat* (18,999 notes) me: quality photo of my foot, 720p x 400p, has a wife and 2 kids……..(2 notes)
thebootydiaries: nekogorogoro: When you do an art collab with someone more talented than you: isn’t that the girl from
thebootydiaries: oreoofficial: oreoofficial: oreoofficial: what do you call a new born dog a puppy follow for more fun animal facts
thebootydiaries: why did tumblr mark my post as nsfw i’m shaking
thebootydiaries: me: i lov obi wan kanoob haha :) some guy: Ha ha! Right you are, my lady. Wow. A female with knowledge of cinema’s finest accomplishment? Be still my heart! Typically, I’m not so forward, but you have piqued my curiosity. A girl
thebootydiaries: serving size: 4 yeah all 4 me
thebootydiaries:someone: am i the only one who—me: There are 7,000,000,000 People On This Earth
thebootydiaries: Employer: so tell me, why do you want this job? Me: I must survive capitalism
thebootydiaries: me: i love this band someone 30-40 years older than me: they’ve been around for awhile you just getting into them? me: why didn’t you prevent vietnam?
thebootydiaries: the benefit of knowing me: you can stand beside me and look 100 times more attractive than you actually are.
thebootydiaries:me @ my son: wolfgang, you were named not after one wolf but a whole gang of wolves,
thebootydiaries: me: why’d u give me an F?? teacher: you haven’t turned anything in all semester. me: but i reblogged the lucky pencil?
thebootydiaries:bae: come overme: do you have foodbae: my parents aren’t homeme: are they coming back with food
thebootydiaries: concept: u come over and i cook an apple for dinner. we are in love as we look at each other. a single tear hits the ground as i morph into an almond (slightly smaller than the average size). u are running as fast as u can.
thebootydiaries:My thoughts before anything: maybe if i wasn’t ugly
thebootydiaries: don’t kill urself babygirl
thebootydiaries: me protecting my friends when I see ugly guys looking at them
thebootydiaries:You: Oh hot damn! This is my jam!Me, An Intellectual: Oh hot reservoir! This is my jelly!
thebootydiaries: me, procrastinating: i hope somebody kills me before this is due
thebootydiaries:Me: *sees my stuffed animal on the floor next to my bed*Me: Why wasn’t I a better parent
thebootydiaries:Me driving: @pedestrians ugh get out the street why would you walk in front of a moving carMe as a pedestrian: hit me bitch i dare you hit me I want you to pay my tuition
thebootydiaries:Me:makes a reference only i get and then laughs about it because i saw what i did there
thebootydiaries: my sister just came into my room and said “who is peep” out of nowhere and im like??? what????? and she’s just staring and me and repeats “who is peep”?? then we’re quiet for like a full 5 seconds and we’re just staring
thebootydiaries: am i doing this right
thebootydiaries: me @ me: ur kind of ugly lolme also @ me: ho…..look @ urself before u come at me……
thebootydiaries: me getting robbed on an elevator: that’s wrong on so many levels haha :) robber: me: robber: me: robber: me: honestly? the fact that u dont appreciate,
thebootydiaries: danielcioccaofficial: I don’t understand like if u want someone to look at u like this <3
thebootydiaries:listen 👂🏼 SWEETIE 🙄✋ i may be UGLY 🙊🙅🏽😤 but at least 💋💯 i’m BROKE 💅🏽💅🏽🐸☕️
thebootydiaries: Just as he reaches the door, he looks back at me with a sad smile. “Hey Farha?”I avert my gaze, blushing. “Yeah?”He watches me in silence for a minute; sorrow oozing from his dark eyes. “Your foundation doesn’t match your
thebootydiaries: i just think it’s funny how u told me to have a nice day and then told the customer behind me the exact same thing lol? all boys do is lie
thebootydiaries: [over Walmart intercom] Can the owner of the white sedan please tell me what I did wrong?? Why did you honk at me the light JUST turned green you didn’t even wai *fighting noises* I DID NOTHING WRONG
thebootydiaries: Person: what’s wrong? Me: nothing… Me internally: why did that man honk at me in the intersection between 52nd St and 3rd Ave on January 4th 2015
thebootydiaries:Me on my deathbed: why did that man honk at me on January 4th 2015
thebootydiaries: people who shower in under 5 minutes .. ..? .?…?? how
thebootydiaries: when my friends say theyre happy i exist
thebootydiaries:me: hello darkness my old frienddarkness: new phone who dis
thebootydiaries:me: *gets a bad idea*me: great idea
thebootydiaries:my wife: i’m leaving youme: why?my wife: you feel the need to use the alignment chart in every aspect of life and i can’t take it anymoreme, quietly: lawful evil behavior
thebootydiaries: me: how many words have i written is it a million is it TWO million word counter: 409 words me: LIES
thebootydiaries:*house phone rings*Me: no
thebootydiaries:me: pls talk to me pls !!pls pls!!!me: *can’t hold a conversation*me: *has nothing interesting to say*me: *is bad at replying*me: pls :) talkto me
thebootydiaries:Me: I impulsively buy stuff when I’m sadPerson: but you’re always buying stuffMe: *finger guns*
thebootydiaries:relationship goals: having one
thebootydiaries: every night after 10pm my feelings start crawling out, starved, as i beat them with a moderately large stick vigorously hissing “stay back” until i inevitably fall asleep
thebootydiaries: someone: hey i genuinely care about u and i like u a lot my brain: ?? ? time for Joke?? make Joke??? yes??
thebootydiaries:beekeeper:*keeps bees*bees:*is keep*
thebootydiaries: Rate my gaming setup
thebootydiaries:someone: yeah i had a crush on them and turns out they liked me too so now we’re datingme: ……okay……that sounds fake but okay….
thebootydiaries:Me: ur on tumblr?Her: yeah!! My URL is super-who-lock-in-the-TARDIS-driving-the-impala-in-221B !!!Me:Me:Me:Me: My momma said I gotta come home immediately.
thebootydiaries: @rageomega @psychoxknyte
thebootydiaries:me: [has an emotional breakdown]everyone in my life: ✔️Read 10:15pm
thebootydiaries:me [searching the beach with my child]: sorry honey, doesn’t look like there’s any sand dollars leftchild: can’t the ocean just make more of them?me: and cause inflation? destroy the sand economy? jesus christ Tiffany,
thebootydiaries: is staff ok They run this hellsite. We just visit
thebootydiaries: oh hey didn’t see you there sorry I was too busy gaming😂 I’m just an average girl who likes fortnite 😂 I be at home on a friday night with pizza, gaming on my PlayStation 360 while hoes are out getting drunk. they watch makeup
thebootydiaries:me after 15 seconds of work: i just cant do this anymore
![thebootydiaries:me: [has an emotional breakdown]everyone in my life: ✔️Read 10:15pm](https://64.media.tumblr.com/811c9790c3cf5f631d3158f9e5b973a9/de036a105b859f45-eb/s512x512u_c1/863923a89522353dc479c792d5fde860eef5233a.jpg)
