egbert
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egberts: *goes to bed at 11pm and doesnt fall asleep til 4am*
egbert-gets-grody: charman-ders: whateverglades: literally a regular Tuesday in Florida haha he looks fucking traumatized “the nipples just..just came off..” “Another Florida woman-“
egberts: rickrolling has been back for two days and it’s already getting old because everywhere you look theres a link to a rickroll, at least i can personally say im never gonna give you up never gonna let you down never gonna run around and desert
egberts: some people on tumblr are just so rude for no reason like apparently nothing weird or cool can happen to anyone without it being planned or made up smh
egberts: intercourse more like yes of course
egberts: i like to ate ate ate apples and bananas eet eet eet epples and benenes ite ite ite ipples and bininis ote ote ote opples and bononos ute ute ute upples and bununus
egberts: i dont understand people who only sleep with one pillow
egberts: my kitty fell asleep on me so i said “are you sleeping” and she meowed really quietly it was the cutest thing ever im gonna die
egberts: negatives: i’m sad all the time positives: i’m pretty good at pretending i’m not sad all the time
egberts: if you try to tell me cold doesnt have a smell you’re wrong when its really cold you can literally smell how cold it is
egberts: charleypollard: no. exempli gratia (for example) and id est (that is) I didn’t take three years of Latin to deal with this. FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE I THOUGH “I.E.” WAS IN EXAMPLE AND “E.G.” WAS SOME DUMB WAY OF SAYING “EGGSAMPLE”
egberts: *goes to a party and awkwardly follows freind around the entire time* this is me.
egberts: am I overreacting or do I have a valid reason to feel the way I do: a novel by me
egberts: ill kiss u so hard man dont fuck w me
egberts:ill kiss u so hard man dont fuck w me
egberts: *goes to a party and awkwardly follows freind around the entire time*
egberts: *rubs my gay little hands all over the “sanctity” of marriage* does this upset you
egberts: pixiesteahouse: cyberstripper: commander-ledi: bullet-train-4-australia: twosatans: pimp-boy3billion: repconn: This is the most heteronormative thing I’ve ever seen in my life………… Why are straight people like this So….
egberts: god put me on this earth to watch naruto and tell jokes
egberts: where can i buy that for free
egberts: u know somethin on the internet is p funny when you actually laugh instead of just blow air out of your nose really fast
egberts: bikinipowerbottom: Guy on the right is like “Girl bye” guy on the left like “girl hi”
egberts:also part of growing up is realizing that the embarrassing music you liked in your early teen years still goes hard as hell
egberts: mabeltron3000: oomshi: me when my mom says we’re getting mcdonalds Jesus Christ what is happening we’re going to mcdonalds
egberts: imagine a pizza topped with several smaller pizzas
egberts:i don’t feel like i’m old enough to be my age
egberts: *posts selfie then reblogs 50 things to hide it*
egberts: i don’t feel like i’m old enough to be my age
egberts: “you stole that joke from tumblr” i posted that joke to tumblr
egberts: i love cats so much every time i see a cat anywhere i try to get it to come to me and i point out every cat i see while i’m in a car and i talk about my cat all the time and think about other people cats i love cats
egberts: what if writers are just people from other universes that got reincarnated here and they subconsciously write about the world they came from
egberts: how do skateboard people get the skateboards to stick to their feet
egberts: if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket Yes! Can I meet the genie now and I would take you out for coffee and
