egbert
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egberts:if you read “hs” as high school you’re a normie hearthstone
egberts: cannedtins: scientist 1: we have succesfully cloned mew, what shall we name it scientist 2: op naming the second scientist
egberts: mabeltron3000: oomshi: me when my mom says we’re getting mcdonalds Jesus Christ what is happening we’re going to mcdonalds
egberts: driving is so dangerous ur literally controlling a giant metal contraption with a circle and some foot buttons
egberts: “short people stick together” how about we stack together. if enough of us unite we can be the ultimate tall person
egberts: i fuckin hate how daisy goes ”WOOHOO” when she passes u in mariokart. especially when ur like tied with her so all u hear is WOOHOO WOOHOO WOOHOO WOOHOO WOO FUCKING HOO
egberts: *goes to a party and awkwardly follows freind around the entire time* Pretty much sums me up right there.
egberts: i dont understand people who only sleep with one pillow
egberts: bahorelfanclub: why are there bruises on my knees i snuck into your house while you were sleeping and used one of those doctor reflex tester hammers to beat the shit out of your knees specifically
egberts:i love this movie
egberts: idk what’s funnier, pets with stereotypical human names like bryan and mckayla or pets with completely ridiculous names like hamburger and concrete
egberts:garbage-empress:tricotfurry:tricotfurry:“the boat was never stuck” > 9/11 truthersreal weird that this guy is conspiracy theorist who is likenutrients = fakeboatstuck = fakemoon landing = realx
egberts:I love science fiction like that’s literally what it is!!! it’s just new made up science!!! regular science isn’t gonna cut it we need fake science asap
egberts:I’m weird as shit but at least I’m not mean
egberts:itwashotwestayedinthewater:itwashotwestayedinthewater: bungus welcome to ‘no note bungus’. reblog and you will feel a sense of accomplishment and goodwill wash over you
egberts: “you stole that joke from tumblr” i posted that joke to tumblr
egberts:*calls you bro while we’re cuddling*
egberts: where can i buy that for free
egberts: am I overreacting or do I have a valid reason to feel the way I do: a novel by me
egberts: *goes to bed at 11pm and doesnt fall asleep til 4am*
egberts: the surgery was a success…… u are now a walking wifi hotspot…..
egberts: omg you know what sucks? when you’re about to shower and you notice your hair looks cute. goodbye cute hair, i must get clean.
egberts:hi I am the casting director and none of you meme loving fucks are getting the part
egberts: HOW CAN PEOPLE NOT GET EXCITED BY DINOSAURS
egberts: support group for ppl who used to be the same age as their favourite character but then got older
egberts: *goes to a party and awkwardly follows freind around the entire time*
egberts: CHRISTMAS EVE IS TOMORROW
egberts: ill kiss u so hard man dont fuck w me
egberts:life honestly gets so much better when you stop hating pop music for no reason
egberts:people ALWAYS have to be bitter. you could post the most harmless thing, something like “i love my cat!” and without a doubt somebody will be like “wow must be nice to not have a serious cat allergy you stupid bitch” like… please y'all.
egberts: when a slow download finally finishes
egberts: intercourse more like yes of course
egberts: i told my grandma i have a popular blog and she thinks i write professional reviews of food and movies
egberts: did anyone ever find out why daniel radcliffe was walking all those dogs
egberts: LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, BUDDY *SLAMS HAND ON TABLE DRAMATICALLY* *slams hand on table AGAIN* *slams BOTH hands on table twice* *claps* *slams hands on table again* *claps* you’re a boy make a big noise playin in the street gonna be a big
egberts: why did everyone play the recorder in fourth grade what were they training us for This is such a good fucking question…
egberts: pizza: lokii-d: binaryhearts: landogrey: hannahcolwell: stigmatophiliac: WHAT WAS THAT THE YOUTUBE ACCOUNT ASSOCIATED THIS VIDEO WAS TERMINATED. whaat what whatt what wut hey macklemore can we go thrift shopping Somebody stole
egberts: looks like october is…. octover
egberts: bikinipowerbottom: Guy on the right is like “Girl bye” guy on the left like “girl hi”
egberts: imagine a pizza topped with several smaller pizzas
egberts: i don’t feel like i’m old enough to be my age
egberts: the-real-skye: iamcharlesxavier: So me and my friends were out playing pokemon go and we had to literally stop the car and turn around because we may have found the fanciest McDonald’s I’ve ever seen in my life A MANSION And the inside
egberts: this weatherman working from home has a cat and she’s a little celebrity
egberts:sir these are my emotional support 120 tabs of unread fanfiction
egberts:i really hope this vibe stays. i hope this is the post trump tumblr vibe. the sense of community right now… outstanding. we’ve all just been dead inside for the last 4 years. nature is healing.
egberts:pets sigh so dramatically for little creatures that have nothing to do all day
egberts: gothicstan: gothicstan: http://www.synchtube.com/r/gothicstan please come and watch funny videos with me i have bad cramps and i need something to take my mind off of it PLEASE come on guys
