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Today was really really good. Not perfect but I’m really happy with the good things that happened. My school made a good Valentine’s celebration. I even got a free stuffed animal! A white bear with angel wings sits in my lap. I’m not
I need to get food. I need to do self care I need to print homework I need to study for my test I need to get off this couch I need to get dressed Why the fuck did I stay up so late last night fuck. Coffee is already brewed but it requires standing
I felt like I barely did enough at the gym, I was only there twenty minutes, did a lot of arms, and barely any leg work. But the two sets of weighted lunges were my first in I don’t know how long and my butt and quads are sore. Yet my arms are fine.
On skype till midnight. Now I’m up at 1am and really feeling not tired despite being exhausted all day. I know I should try to sleep but I’m doing the homework due tomorrow before class instead. Honestly I’m really not caring about self
Well that was a lot easier than last week unless I completely misunderstood all of that. But it’s done and completed. I think I’ll turn my normal alarms off and sleep in till 9:30. No class till 11am, then I can crash until work!i actually
Everything is so still. I want to enjoy the peace of the air system humming Let my own mind rest From all the to dos And to do laters And already too late I wish I had my dove here and we could enjoy the stillness but also be quiet company. I napped
I made it through hell week somehow. I don’t know how well I did but the last week and a half- I survived. Tonight hasn’t been great. I’ve been needy and anxious. Don’t know why. Hope I can keep my emotions together with the doves
One short if intense pillow screaming, tears streaming depressive episode later, can i sleep now? Please? I need to be up in less than 6 hours.
An unproductive day lasting until 2:30 am. I really need tonlimit tech and stop laying in bed all day. I did build a great file I’m really proud of, but I barely did anything today other than stay up so late I have a headache and eat poorly. I will
So a long day on a not great sleep. But I’m trying. Counselor and psychiatrist visit today and being vulnerable with them is always a bit awkward. Came home and took a much needed nap so I’m a bit better now. I wish I didn’t have evening
Well I think I’m finally building a ladder out of the slump I’ve been in the past few days. I had an actual dinner last night and was in bed by 11:30, probably asleep by midnight, and got up at 8:05. Made breakfast, will run a dishload after
Masturbating instead of getting breakfast… oops ;)
Fuck excuses
Life balance? What’s that? I have been tired since 11:30 but I’ve worked till 1:45 am because I wanted to make a purse out of an unwearable pair of jeans (eight years of thigh rub). I don’t know if I like it or not. I don’t think
So my sleep is fucked up. Alarm at 8 wasn’t enough sleep so slept in till 10am. Which is enough time to get to my 2pm. Feeling a little bit needy and want to cuddle my dove. But things Are alright. I’m standing back up mentally. Need to do
Slow morning but I did some sprig cleaning. Part one was finding the floor and my desk, moving a bookshelf, and laundry when I get back from class. Part two and three are the closet and bathroom. Also need to get a vacuum cleaner. For both my bedroom
Ok so my emotional energy is dropping quick surrounded by lightly noisy people. I just want to be home. Like I want to talk with dove but he’s studying and class is about to start. I need a break from everything. Everything moves too quickly. Just
gotta say i love how easily i cum on my period. like that just took me five minutes. not that i dont still feel insatiable, but i have to go to school now. but i love my fat tummy and i cant wait to see and hug my dove in a couple hours. and we’re
Been moody/angry today. I really hope I get a good nights sleep because I can’t handle this depressed mood. I have too much to do and I just want to be ok but I don’t feel like that. You’d think with all the cuddles I got I’d feel
Yeah I am definitely someone who needs none hous. Just slept from 11:30-8ish and oh so much better. Slight headache but definitely less moody/angry. Gonna try and make today good. Wish this headache would go away but I’m working on my coffee, then
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I keep Messing up and everything feels too big and too much for me. I messed up something with honors and at this point I don’t even know if it’s worth it anymore. I need to talk about that with
Well it only took a couple days but I finally feel like I’m feeling better. YouTube and my games. Now to be Productive tomorrow. Lord I’m gonna need to bust ass all day. Probably should pack a lunch and plan on staying all day on campus. At
I stayed on campus between morning and evening classes to work and go to my counselor appointment. Now I am just so ready to go home and it’s almost time for my evening classes. I just feel so tired and I want to go home, eat dinner, and cuddle
I don’t wanna stay another class. I wanna go home. I tired and hungwy. :P It’s my most interesting class at least. I hope I can keep up today. Slowly loosing the power to stay in Big space today. I’ll go home, cook dinner and relax,
yep i got minimal sleep and im miserablefuuuuck
Today turned out to be good. I had a breakdown but dove helped me through it and I am immensely grateful. But I didn’t want to stick around when I knew he’d be leaving after I had the breakdown. I needed alone time and I knew it. I came home
Well I have thoroughly sedated myself with media. Basically numb but not in a bad way I think. Just very relaxed. Playful too if I could find a playmate. I’ve had enough alone time finally and I think I’m really to be social again after last
Guess who actually worked out today? Trying not to have my morning go completely to procrastination. I wanna go back to bed now
I’ve had mama look sharp stuck in my head for two days now and God this song doesn’t help my depression
I should probably update my theme and about me sometime when it’s not 1am, though doesn’t anyone really look a thing that? Who knows. I always do on blogs I like but I also love special feature on DVDs. It isn’t enough for me to accept
God I’ve gotten chubby. And my belly is bigger than I’d like right now :/ I need to get some crontrol over myself and get back to exercise and start studying. I keep being impulsive. Usually this is in บ impulse buys and I don’t think
I feel like I keep fucking up. I just want to be good and it’s so fucking hard. I keep going to bed too late which fuck me up in the morning and inget nothing done. Literally going to class in yoga pants and feeling self conscious because it feels
LOok at me exercising and shit. Mostly just bodyweight work or assisted bodyweight moves because I have lost a lot but there’s still a lot of grit in me it seems.
So hit the gym, two for two this week. If I get Saturday too I’ll be happy but I’m Really trying to get a full body workout every other day. I’m doing mostly bodyweight mostly because I feel like I need to remaster that before I go back
Accidentally sleeping in till 9 when I have work at ten. Sure. But I did just have an interesting dream. I wish I had time to write about it.
Please someone make me take care of myself. I’m sucking so far. I should be more positive I know. I’m cuddling barnsie and trying to get to Walmart to get a snack to bring to the fireside. I know I’ll be fine once I’m with good
So I napped for three hours, woke up and tried to go to sleep for real. And nope. Probably should adult-like shower and study or some shit. I’ve been tired all day and have done a lot of testing. Didn’t make it to the gym. Didn’t study.
So I didn’t go to sleep until 1am. And I slept in till 9am. Oops. But I in total got like 10 hours of sleep in twelve hours so I’m not tired for once. Now to channel that into cramming
i studied a little, probably should do a little more. i just want to escape right now im realizing. i want to cuddle stuffies and be soft mentally, lost in a world of fur and little. ive been looking at spiders on FA, also masturbated to Gilpanda’s
taking kitten to class with me so i can have something safe to squeeze
I feel like I’m finally getting my head above the water, like I could soar soon like everyone expects me to. I can breathe now. Just for a little while. I need to go get lunch. I’m just tired from lack of food. I’ll go home, eat, clean,
So at this point, I know that what number I see on the scale directly impacts what size I think I am. Knowing I’m under x weight makes me feel less at risk of being too much. I’m still going to cut back. That I’m at my parents and mom
I’m really hungry but also really comfy and don’t want to go down the tiny spiral staircase to the second floor and then the main floor. We did a long walk and my feet weren’t happy afterwards. Like really sore. But also hungry. The
I feel like I’m finally able to catch up. I’m on spring break and all the games I’ve been playing this semester aren’t appealing so I’m playing khan academy precalc mission. And there’s still stuff I could do in those
It’s late now. And I just tucked myself into bed. My mind finally feels ready to tackle this semester. I want to get to work. But I need to sleep. Don’t feel tired but I will be. I just hope I have enough time to get ahead while I’m
Feeling moody and I can’t figure out if people or no people would help. Possibly my period is coming. Just been tired all day from staying up so late.
The moodiness of today prompted me to do some online quizzes. I wondered if I was bipolar but I don’t seem to have the manic episodes. I wondered because I feel a lot of rapidly changing emotions a lot, where I feel impulsive and also depressed
Period cramps, Cadbury eggs, and nostalgia critic. I’m content to be alone for now. Driving home tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing the dove, though I know it won’t all be butterflies and doe eyes. I need to do some adulting, getting meds,
I’m trying so freaking hard but my headache is really making this difficult. I just want to go back to bed. I’ve had caffeine, sleep, food, water, and ibuprofen and I just want to go back to bed. But I also want to do good today. It’s
I adulted!
I’ve been home half an hour but it feels like more. I feel so tired. I know I should eat. Or I should nap. I was feeling so good before but oh I’m spent. Someone adult for me
Someone should make me stop fighting how sleepy I am. THe sfw cgl tag is so pure and good. When I want to be little I’m not horny, I’m trying to escape for a little bit. My head hurts from staying up so really need to sleep. But I made myself
So I’ve been up for a few hours but I haven’t done much. R will be here in a little over an hour and we have an upper body day planned. She wanted to focus on delts. I need to start making my room habitable again though. Laundry is out of
Can I just have a magical photo shoot where I’m wearing nothing but flowers?
So I guess the past few days culminated in an effective rock bottom this morning. Took me forever to do any self care like eating. Spoke with dove for moral support. Went and took a test I didn’t study for. Then went and had a good big lunch and
Really really wanted to skip class today. I’m on the bus going in though. I’ll have lunch when I get back. My head hurts. This is the hard to pay attention class because the teacher rambles and I don’t see the point. Why does stress
Not even 1:30 and I am home and striped of almost all my clothes. Business wear always needs naked time after wearing
I want to be little and warm and cuddled but also I want to have hedonistic fun, I want to write one of my kink fantasies in a story, I want to have fun. But I am just procrastinating a lot of work I need to do. Either work or clean or do self care. I
Ahh. I’ve been eating cheese and crackers for 24 hours now and little else- oops. I’m hungry. I have other food but I don’t want it. Should I go to Walmart? Or should I just eat what I have and go tomorrow before class? But I want binge
So overslept but at least I’m well rested. Going in early to work on the group project thing I’ve been putting off. I nejust d that done today because I also have a paper I haven’t started due Thursday, plus two homeworks this week.
