sudmalis
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I wonder if i am the reversed of the proverbial(?) Skinny inside, that instead there is a fat person wanting, and waiting
Playing oregan trail and i just got food from george DONNER… lol
i wish i could help more people on here. i want to be the friend i wish i had. i see people that i’ve followed for over a year struggling and it breaks my heart. they don’t know me, but there are three women that i love and want nothing but
i can haz wifi ( i'm home)
i need/should go to bed. i need to leave for church in T-minus 9 hours, 40 minutes. and i still ned to take a shower, unpack and find my contact case… i need direction. tomorrow will be good. i will see friends, another one THREATENED to visit,
Honestly wondering of the stress of having to converse/please my parents is what makes me fired. We’re all a touch high maintenence at times and while i love them, they drain me sometimes.
Never tell me what to do. Even if it if for my own good. My anger at your claims to control me will overpower any reason inside me to do what I’m told. I’m already telling myself a thousand things that i ought to do– eat better, sleep
clearly i am meant to be weird as shit tonight, i’m just gonna type whatever the fuck i want till my head is too heavey and the dawn is too bright or some other shit that means go the fuck back to bed i can’t find my talbet ( prob. left
i'm lonely and tired
[[More]] I am just laying in bed, listening to music because i can’t fucking sleep. Something just feels wrong in my head and heart and guts and arms. I fesl like there’s a hard edge inside, sharp as a bookshelf, but small, nothing BUT that edge
Guide Index
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3 days till my scholarship is due 5 days till i leave 9 days till christmas 15 days till 2014 just so done with this year. it’s been great but i miss my classes, i miss my friends, i miss having the will to do stuff other than procrastinate.
kinda liking the idea of getting married in the mutter museum now…
To do
this is really bad. i need to fucking get off this fucking site fuck fuck fuck
if i have one more mango slice, i'll have eaten the entire bag...
how the fuck have i not hit 140?i east like crap, i haven’t had any exercise in weeks, so much sugar and junk food. i’m not binging but i want to so bad
i just want someone who understands who listens to you and me and then listens to you again
i'm just fucking stuck here, trapped.
if you’re gonna treat me like your therapist, pay me
some of my photography over the years
leaving for NC ant minute now, finished my christmas shopping half an hour ago.
NC
chilling a my dads
Everything is wet and slippery and i hate glasses in the woods. Not even Two minutes outside, i head by the dogs and now i need to change my pants because wet muddy dogs.
Baking ghiradelli cookies and watching 1776
I’m wet And happy In the mud and dirt and trees I’m dry And cozy In a blanket by my laptop My brain still repeats Lyrics I wish I wrote And when I write i Get verse Jumbled God-given Trains of thought that Don’t resemble Any songs my head hears
12/26/13 in reflection. also headache :(
daily reflection in several parts
woke up at 9 this (technically) morning
my god, im getting fat
feeling better today, not as much sugar as in previous days. good church service. the pastor, pastor jack had a “children’s sermon” which was adorable, using the children to remind their parents why we participate in communion ( the
stil reading the archives of nerdfitness. kinda-sorta worried and i think im overthinking things when i should just go the crap to sleep. but i feel like writing instead. perhaps looking at my computer screen isn’t the most sleep inducing manor
you know
i need to find and read this book
wow. i want to thank you all
Im going home tomorrow and when i do, I’m sure ill write a long ass post about my resolutions and crap. Its past midnight now. T minus 14-15 hours till mom picks me up. About a 5 hour drive after that. Fuck, i hate having to re-adjust back. I’m just
4-5 hours left at dad’s
just looked at my photos and i need a better camera
i feel so fucking stupid. i flipped out and shit because i couldn’t find my ipd charger. it’s just the idea of not having it is really scary is all. and then i found it and i’m sorry for crying and shit
I don’t wanna put on real pants tho
counted today. went over the count, though much less than usual. thiswas expected. actually didn’t do too badly aside from the surprized hot cocoa and icecream and chips. but it was a date and all that i ate was surprizingly less than normal. not
finally found frozen online. took me 10 minutes but i found it.
woke up wrong-ish. just feel like nothing in the world today has any urgency or excitement. counting calories then going on a two hour spree of feedism porn and the like. i understand that for now, i need to change who i am into who they think i am.
good girl
feeling better. still not sure how i feel, but i feel like laughing at death so i’m gonna watch addams ffamily movies.
I love that my bedroom window gets the sunrise every morning
am i the oly one who poisons their own mind?
eating salad gave me the hiccups
wtf
majorly craving chocolate rn...
caved; made myself a lava cake
screw the scale
my mint chocolate cake was delish
apparently Vizzinni=rex=ezera
9/10 i can’t nap. toady was 1/10
