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“Your admirably high arches aren’t the only thing I noticed as soon as you stepped into the room.â€
“From a drop of water, a logician should be able to infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara, but they’re gonna need a hell of a lot more than that to infer how wet I can make you.â€
“Don’t take Moriarty’s word for it. Come see for yourself how surprisingly comfortable my bed is.â€
“Are you a drug? Because you alleviate boredom and occasionally heighten my thought processes.â€
“Will you be the pipe to my Holmes? I want you in my mouth.â€
“If you thought The Abominable Bride pushed you to mental and physical extremes, you should see what I can do in the bedroom.â€
“Forget morphine or cocaine. I get plenty high just off of your presence.â€
“They call me Wilder in the streets, but I’m Wildest in the sheets.â€
“Forget the visible rings of fat around my corneas. Right now the only ring I care about is the one I’m going to propose to you with.â€
“Are you the dust on Sherlock’s mantle? Because I want to lick you.â€
“If you were 221b, I would never let the illustrator make you drab and dingy.â€
“You’re sweeter than all of the plum pudding in the Diogenes Club.â€
“I want to be more permanently glued to you than Mycroft’s ever expanding backside is to his spot.â€
“I know what a nurse is capable of, but I still say that you’re excessively skilled for one.â€
“Are you Eustace Carmichael? Because I want to be with you until five orange pips do us part.â€
“It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the landing… Therefore, it wouldn’t kill you to fall for me.â€
“If you were one of the reporters outside, I would do so much more than just make tea for you.â€
“If you were Sherlock’s veins, I would be cocaine just so I could get inside of you.â€
“Are you Mary’s pregnancy? Because I noticed you before anyone else did.â€
“I want to ‘abominable ride’ you.â€
“Will you be my enemy that I must certainly lose to?â€
“Did Holmes learn about jets from you? Because you’re pretty fly.â€
“Poetry or truth? Well, if we’re talking about your beauty, I’d say they’re the same thing.â€
“You don’t need to put on a mustache in order to examine my body.â€
“I must be Moriarty, because I can live without the back of my head easier than I can live without you.â€
“If someone accused me of loving you, I’d be guiltier than a brother with a green ladder.â€
“Are you Sherlock Holmes? Because I wanna see you shake your mind pal-ass.â€
“I get lost in your eyes easier than other people get lost in the Carmichaels’ hedge maze.â€
“Are you from a future world? Because I want to get your telephone contraption number.â€
“If you were a Baskerville Hound, I would get drugged on purpose just to see you.â€
“I want to say ‘I love you’ to you more often than Holmes says ‘features of interest.’“
“My balls are bluer than the carbuncle Watson wrote about.â€
“I heard you have a mouth like a crimson wound. Shall I kiss it better for you?â€
“Do you have a feet fetish? Because my game is afoot.â€
“Anyone could be the Abominable Bride, but only you could be my bride.â€
“You’re more important to me than finding Emelia Ricoletti’s substitute corpse.â€
“My name may be Diamond, but you’re the one who shines bright like one.â€(Yes, according to the credits, that flight attendant’s name is Diamond.)
“If you think Mycroft is enormous, just wait until you see my dick.â€
“I want my mind palace to have your details so perfect, I won’t need drugs to be immersed in them.â€
“I never understood the murderous jealousy of the one who wrote about the obliquity of the ecliptic until I saw you with another man.â€
“Humiliating Sherlock may be by far the greater pleasure, but you are by far the greatest pleasure.â€
“Are you my fridge? Because I want to stick my body parts in you.â€
“Hounds freak me out. You should show me your pussy instead.â€
“I don’t care whether your birthday video is cut or uncut, but I am curious about something else of yours.â€
“I wanna give you the ol’ Raz-zle dazzle.â€
“Magnussen shouldn’t be the only one who knows how you taste.â€
“I would let you in my house even if you were a reptile.â€
“If you left me, my heart would shatter like the six busts of Margaret Thatcher.â€
“If you and I had an appointment in Samarra, I would never go to Sumatra and become a pirate instead.â€
“I would go right into Hell and make it look like I meant it just to save you.â€
“Are you Mrs. Hudson’s car? Because I wanna take you for a ride.â€
“I would smile at you on a bus even if you didn’t have a daisy behind your ear.â€
“Eurus may think I’m nicer than anyone, but just wait until you see my naughty side.â€
“I have a problem… and there is only one way that I can solve it… I need to kiss someone.â€
“Are you the London Aquarium? Because you’re soaking wet and coming inside you made me go to Heaven.â€
“You can borrow my handcuffs in the salad drawer anytime… But only if you use them with me.â€
“If you came to my house in the middle of the night, my umbrella sword isn’t the only thing I’d be whipping out.”
“Are you the well that Victor Trevor died in? Because I’m about to go deep inside you and feel how wet you are.”
“Getting over you is more impossible than arresting a jellyfish.”
“I could never forget you, even if my dad gave me TD12.”