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“You’re hotter than the bonfire I put John in.”

“You’re hotter than the bonfire I put John in.”

“Wanna come to my Mori-party?”

“Wanna come to my Mori-party?”

“I want to text you more often than Irene texted Sherlock.”

“I want to text you more often than Irene texted Sherlock.”

“I bet I can find your G spot quicker than Sherlock finds clues.”

“I bet I can find your G spot quicker than Sherlock finds clues.”

“Returning your coat isn’t my only reason for sneaking into your bedroom.”

“Returning your coat isn’t my only reason for sneaking into your bedroom.”

“‘Vatican cameos’ can be our safeword.”

“‘Vatican cameos’ can be our safeword.”

“I’m sorry you don’t like Harold on my face… Perhaps you’d prefer him in between your thighs?”

“I’m sorry you don’t like Harold on my face… Perhaps you’d prefer him in between your thighs?”

“Without you, I’m lonelier than Mycroft on Christmas.”

“Without you, I’m lonelier than Mycroft on Christmas.”

“I know you’re for real… Nobody could fake having such an amazing dick all the time.”

“I know you’re for real… Nobody could fake having such an amazing dick all the time.”

“You’re not like Magnussen’s spectacles… You are anything but ordinary.”

“You’re not like Magnussen’s spectacles… You are anything but ordinary.”

“I love you more than Sherlock loves bees.”

“I love you more than Sherlock loves bees.”

“You’re the stars to my Sherlock: I think you’re beautiful even when I don’t understand you.”

“You’re the stars to my Sherlock: I think you’re beautiful even when I don’t understand you.”

“Without you, my world is as dark as Laura’s attire.”

“Without you, my world is as dark as Laura’s attire.”

“You don’t need to manipulate security cameras to convince me to get into your car.”

“You don’t need to manipulate security cameras to convince me to get into your car.”

“I want you in my life more permanently than a Black Lotus tattoo.”

“I want you in my life more permanently than a Black Lotus tattoo.”

“I know you like to hold your umbrella all the time, but I wish you would hold my hand instead.”

“I know you like to hold your umbrella all the time, but I wish you would hold my hand instead.”

“Why have Lestrade when you can have More-trade?”

“Why have Lestrade when you can have More-trade?”

“You’re the fence to my John… I can’t get over you.”

“You’re the fence to my John… I can’t get over you.”

“Just call me a Baskerville Hound, because I can’t keep my paws off of you.”

“Just call me a Baskerville Hound, because I can’t keep my paws off of you.”

“Your wit is sharper than Irene Adler’s heels.”

“Your wit is sharper than Irene Adler’s heels.”

“John says I’m a machine… Want to see if you can turn me on?”

“John says I’m a machine… Want to see if you can turn me on?”

“Mycroft says that you have the brain of a scientist or a philosopher, but I think you have the brain of my future husband.”

“Mycroft says that you have the brain of a scientist or a philosopher, but I think you have the brain of my future husband.”

“If you were a dismembered country squire, I’d make a date with you no matter how difficult you were to schedule.”

“If you were a dismembered country squire, I’d make a date with you no matter how difficult you were to schedule.”

“Broadly speaking, I’d like to have a ‘function’ in your ‘narrative.’“

“Broadly speaking, I’d like to have a ‘function’ in your ‘narrative.’“

“I’m not a plot device… The only function I want in your narrative is love interest.”

“I’m not a plot device… The only function I want in your narrative is love interest.”

“Forget finding the country squire’s legs– I’d much rather have a look at yours.”

“Forget finding the country squire’s legs– I’d much rather have a look at yours.”

“Will you be the cigarette to my Sherlock? I want to put my lips around you.”

“Will you be the cigarette to my Sherlock? I want to put my lips around you.”

“John says I tend to rub people up the wrong way, but I bet I can rub you right where you like it.”

“John says I tend to rub people up the wrong way, but I bet I can rub you right where you like it.”

“So, you’re on IDatedAGhost.com… Does that mean you’re looking for a boo?”

“So, you’re on IDatedAGhost.com… Does that mean you’re looking for a boo?”

“Your style is more iconic than Sherlock in a deerstalker.”

“Your style is more iconic than Sherlock in a deerstalker.”

“I’m your biggest fan-derson.”

“I’m your biggest fan-derson.”

“I would love you even if you peed in my fireplace.”

“I would love you even if you peed in my fireplace.”

“Get a room? Nah, let’s get an entire flat.”

“Get a room? Nah, let’s get an entire flat.”

“The game is on. Will you be my player 2?”

“The game is on. Will you be my player 2?”

“Still looking for the legs, but I’d much rather find the key to your heart.”

“Still looking for the legs, but I’d much rather find the key to your heart.”

“If you thought I didn’t love you, I would send an entire press conference the same text message.”

“If you thought I didn’t love you, I would send an entire press conference the same text message.”

“I’m bringing sexy Reichen-back.”

“I’m bringing sexy Reichen-back.”

“I want you to ‘meat’ my ‘dagger.’“

“I want you to ‘meat’ my ‘dagger.’“

“You don’t need to be like Mycroft. Why use a treadmill when you get plenty of exercise running through my mind?”

“You don’t need to be like Mycroft. Why use a treadmill when you get plenty of exercise running through my mind?”

“My coat collar isn’t the only thing that’s up.”

“My coat collar isn’t the only thing that’s up.”

“If you needed a shoulder to cry on, I would volunteer on no less than three separate occasions.”

“If you needed a shoulder to cry on, I would volunteer on no less than three separate occasions.”

“You’re hotter than a shoddy Victorian outfit from a museum that was sold off in a fire damage sale.”

“You’re hotter than a shoddy Victorian outfit from a museum that was sold off in a fire damage sale.”

“Scold me like Irene Adler scolded Kate Middleton.”

“Scold me like Irene Adler scolded Kate Middleton.”

“I must be 221b’s wallpaper, because you’re making me smile.”

“I must be 221b’s wallpaper, because you’re making me smile.”

“Me without you is like a deerstalker with only one front.”

“Me without you is like a deerstalker with only one front.”

“Is your name Janine? Because I would become a tabloid just to make you my whore.”

“Is your name Janine? Because I would become a tabloid just to make you my whore.”

“You’re more hip than the body part Mrs. Hudson needs herbal soothers for.”

“You’re more hip than the body part Mrs. Hudson needs herbal soothers for.”

“I am the closest thing to a friend you are capable of having: A lover.”

“I am the closest thing to a friend you are capable of having: A lover.”

“So, you think my mouth looks too small without lipstick? I can think of one way to change your mind about that.”

“So, you think my mouth looks too small without lipstick? I can think of one way to change your mind about that.”

“I want to experiment with you… and I don’t mean in the Baskerville kind of way.”

“I want to experiment with you… and I don’t mean in the Baskerville kind of way.”

“The man with the key is king. How’d you like to be my queen?”

“The man with the key is king. How’d you like to be my queen?”

“My suit may be Westwood, but I can give you wood in any direction you like.”

“My suit may be Westwood, but I can give you wood in any direction you like.”

“No, that’s not a British Army Browning L9A1 in my pocket.”

“No, that’s not a British Army Browning L9A1 in my pocket.”

“If you’d like, I can ensure that you’ll never need to borrow John’s laptop again.”

“If you’d like, I can ensure that you’ll never need to borrow John’s laptop again.”

“I don’t just want the D… I want the D.I.”

“I don’t just want the D… I want the D.I.”

“Writing my best man speech for your wedding was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do… because I wasn’t the one you were marrying.”

“Writing my best man speech for your wedding was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do… because I wasn’t the one you were marrying.”

“We can’t eat in the kitchen because Sherlock keeps experiments in it. Shall I take you out to dinner instead?”

“We can’t eat in the kitchen because Sherlock keeps experiments in it. Shall I take you out to dinner instead?”

“You stole my heart like Eddie Van Coon stole the jade hair pin.”

“You stole my heart like Eddie Van Coon stole the jade hair pin.”

“Will you be the microwave to my eyeballs? I want to be inside you.”

“Will you be the microwave to my eyeballs? I want to be inside you.”

“I may not know that the Earth revolves around the sun, but I know that my heart revolves around you.”

“I may not know that the Earth revolves around the sun, but I know that my heart revolves around you.”

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