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“I’d like to conduct a Study in your Pink.”
“The newspaper says that you’re a confirmed bachelor… Want me to fix that?”
“When I told you to take my card, I meant my V-card.”
“If you’re a hedgehog, can I be your hedge?”
“I like the ball that I brought to Bart’s, but I’d much rather play with your balls.”
“I’m what people DO!”
“Will you be my live-in normal?”
“I suggest we do that thing where two people who like each other go out and have fun.”
“Wanna know how I suddenly became Mr. Sex?”
“I would ‘coordinate’ with you and a pair of handcuffs in a dark alley anytime.”
“I didn’t need five minutes to feel that we had a special something.”
“I may not be your brother’s handler, but I’ll do everything you tell me to.”
“I have an app that can steal anything… including your heart.”
“Forget using Anthea– I’d much rather come abduct you myself.”
“I’d wait for you even if you kept me as long as Mofftiss kept the Sherlockians.”
“Let’s meet at the rooftop instead of the pool. You’ve got to admit that’s sexier.”
“Forget outliving four people– let me show you the most fun you can have with or without an aneurysm.”
“I like your strong moral principle and nerves of steel, and that’s not just the shock talking.”
“I would care if your life was at stake, even if it didn’t help save you.”
“You are far more than a seven, therefore I would leave the flat for you.”
“Mrs. Hudson, are you trying to seduce me?”
“How do you feel about Hamish for a baby name?”
“You are more indispensable than my homeless network.”
“Why should you choose me? Well, I am my own least irritating officer.”
“Nice measurements. How about letting me see them on your real body?”
“Let me be your Action Man. Your brother won’t be able to break me.”
“I may lower the I.Q. of the whole street, but I also raise the libidos of the whole city.”
“I’d like to fiddle with you when I’m thinking– and I’m not talking about playing the violin.” Inspired by this (source unknown).
“I would sniff your second hand smoke even if I wasn’t going through cigarette withdrawals.”
“I want to grow old, retire, and study bees with you.”
“I would go on three dates with you even if you turned out to be a gay, consulting criminal.”
“I’ll eat you out even though digestion slows me down.”
“I don’t care if you boast a lot– I’ll still tell you bedtime stories.”
“I don’t have to die if I’ve got you– and believe me, I will have you.”
“I would wait a year and a half just to serenade you with my Bee Gees ringtone.”
“I would buy you a deerstalker even if the rest of Scotland Yard didn’t pitch in.”
“You know, I’ve got a phone. I mean, very clever and all that, but you could just booty call me. On my phone.”
“You know what they say about big feet? Well, just call me Carl Powers.”
“I bet I can keep you wetter than Soo Lin Yao’s teapots.”
“I would never chase some killer while trying to get off with you.”
“You’re more valuable to me than a nine million pound jade hairpin.”
“Are you my blogger? Because I’d be lost without you.”
“Of course we won’t be needing two bedrooms.”
“I may not be The Golem, but I bet I can squeeze the life out of you, if you get what I mean.”
“I don’t care about your intermittent tremor– I just wanted an excuse to hold your hand.”
“I would show off at your trial just to get locked in a cell with you.”
“Face the other way. You’re getting me off.”
“I thought your post-mortem joke was funny.”
“You make me so stiff, Molly mistook me for one of her cadavers.”
“I like my partners the way I like my wall decorations: Music-loving and horny.”
“Wanna see what’s Under my Shaw?” Seriously though, save Undershaw!
“My division is the one between your legs.”
“If you were my day to die, I could never get a better offer.”
“If Moriarty was about to murder you, I would give him a call.”
“Even if I was the St. Bart’s traffic cone, I wouldn’t tell you to slow down.”
“I don’t need a good coat and a short friend to look ‘tall,’ if you get what I mean.”
“A Black Lotus flower isn’t the only thing I can put in your mouth.”
“I have five children.” Okay, so this one’s actually a bit of an inside joke… My ex-boyfriend, (whom I am no longer on speaking terms with), has a daughter now, and he’s been persistently trying to inform me of this fact.
“I wish Mike Stamford would introduce us.”
“I would pretend to be drunk just to go for a ride with you.”
