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“Mycroft can resist a game of Deductions easier than I can resist you.”

“Mycroft can resist a game of Deductions easier than I can resist you.”

“If you were naked in front of me, I would never tell you to put on a napkin.”

“If you were naked in front of me, I would never tell you to put on a napkin.”

“Will you be the Bart’s Hospital to my Sherlock? I want to be on top of you.”

“Will you be the Bart’s Hospital to my Sherlock? I want to be on top of you.”

“Are you my mind palace? Because I want to kick everyone out of the room and get inside you.”

“Are you my mind palace? Because I want to kick everyone out of the room and get inside you.”

“When I said you were very ugly, I meant it in John Watson Sign Language.”

“When I said you were very ugly, I meant it in John Watson Sign Language.”

“Emelia Ricoletti’s corpse isn’t the only thing that’s going to be rising tonight.”

“Emelia Ricoletti’s corpse isn’t the only thing that’s going to be rising tonight.”

“Nobody has more features of interest than you.”

“Nobody has more features of interest than you.”

“You are the crack in my lens.”

“You are the crack in my lens.”

“I may eat breakfast in The Stranger’s Room, but I certainly don’t want to be a stranger to you.”

“I may eat breakfast in The Stranger’s Room, but I certainly don’t want to be a stranger to you.”

“This pistol isn’t the only thing I’d like on the tip of my tongue.”

“This pistol isn’t the only thing I’d like on the tip of my tongue.”

“Are you a gong? Or a touch of the dramatic? Because I could never resist you.”

“Are you a gong? Or a touch of the dramatic? Because I could never resist you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s grave? Because I dig you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s grave? Because I dig you.”

“Are you the Reichenbach Falls? Because you’re soaking wet and I’m going to end up inside you.”

“Are you the Reichenbach Falls? Because you’re soaking wet and I’m going to end up inside you.”

“You may not be Emelia Ricoletti’s corpse, but I’d be happy to chain you to your bed anyway.”

“You may not be Emelia Ricoletti’s corpse, but I’d be happy to chain you to your bed anyway.”

“Who’s the cutest person in the room? YoOoOoOoU!”(This one only works if you say “you” in Emelia’s voice, haha.)

“Who’s the cutest person in the room? YoOoOoOoU!”(This one only works if you say “you” in Emelia’s voice, haha.)

“If I tried to deny my love for you, it’d be less convincing than Hooper in a mustache.”

“If I tried to deny my love for you, it’d be less convincing than Hooper in a mustache.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s wedding song? Because I could never forget you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s wedding song? Because I could never forget you.”

“I need you more than Lestrade needs a drink when he’s afraid.”

“I need you more than Lestrade needs a drink when he’s afraid.”

“I could break every bone in your body while naming them, but right now there’s only one bone of yours I’m interested in.”

“I could break every bone in your body while naming them, but right now there’s only one bone of yours I’m interested in.”

“I may not be a corpse, but I would let you whip me even if there wasn’t a medical point to it.”

“I may not be a corpse, but I would let you whip me even if there wasn’t a medical point to it.”

“Suicide as street theatre and murder by corpse aren’t the only ways I can spoil you.”

“Suicide as street theatre and murder by corpse aren’t the only ways I can spoil you.”

“May I be your unsavory companion of dubious morals?”

“May I be your unsavory companion of dubious morals?”

“Dating you would be an even better idea than MI5 security.”

“Dating you would be an even better idea than MI5 security.”

“Do you have a secret twin? Because if so, I’d love to get acquainted with both of you.”

“Do you have a secret twin? Because if so, I’d love to get acquainted with both of you.”

“Are you the other me in the other place? Because I think you’re pretty damn smart.”

“Are you the other me in the other place? Because I think you’re pretty damn smart.”

“You not loving me would mean more misfortune and disaster than the Second Afghan War.”

“You not loving me would mean more misfortune and disaster than the Second Afghan War.”

“Holmes says that the fair sex is my department. Shall I prove it?”

“Holmes says that the fair sex is my department. Shall I prove it?”

“Criminal masterminds don’t really have special outfits, but I’ll make an exception for you in the bedroom.”

“Criminal masterminds don’t really have special outfits, but I’ll make an exception for you in the bedroom.”

“I would help a drug addict dig up a one hundred and twenty year old grave just to spend time with you.”

“I would help a drug addict dig up a one hundred and twenty year old grave just to spend time with you.”

“You’re clearly acclimatized to never getting to the end of a sentence. I could give you something else to do with your mouth, if you’d like.”

“You’re clearly acclimatized to never getting to the end of a sentence. I could give you something else to do with your mouth, if you’d like.”

“Without you, my heart is more broken than the glass used to create Emelia Ricoletti’s ghost.”

“Without you, my heart is more broken than the glass used to create Emelia Ricoletti’s ghost.”

“Forget the hanging in Wandsworth– I’d like to take a ‘professional’ interest in how well you’re hung.”

“Forget the hanging in Wandsworth– I’d like to take a ‘professional’ interest in how well you’re hung.”

“I bet you’re more popular than The Blue Carbuncle.”

“I bet you’re more popular than The Blue Carbuncle.”

“Ignore the illustrator. You’re so unforgettable, I would recognize you with or without a mustache.”

“Ignore the illustrator. You’re so unforgettable, I would recognize you with or without a mustache.”

“Unprincipled drug addict or not, I’ll gladly be your gentleman hero.”

“Unprincipled drug addict or not, I’ll gladly be your gentleman hero.”

“Kiss me until my lipstick is smeared like Emelia Ricoletti’s.”

“Kiss me until my lipstick is smeared like Emelia Ricoletti’s.”

“I would rather receive an envelope with five orange pips than be without you.”

“I would rather receive an envelope with five orange pips than be without you.”

“I would give you dancing lessons even if it meant your Sign Language needed work.”

“I would give you dancing lessons even if it meant your Sign Language needed work.”

“I could never nearly forget you.”

“I could never nearly forget you.”

“Are you a future world? Because I have a conjecture of how I might fit inside you.”

“Are you a future world? Because I have a conjecture of how I might fit inside you.”

“I want you more than The Strand readers want proper murders.”

“I want you more than The Strand readers want proper murders.”

“I would put on a black veil and pretend to be a client just to see you.”

“I would put on a black veil and pretend to be a client just to see you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s ghost? Because I want you to be my boo.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s ghost? Because I want you to be my boo.”

“I would kick Moriarty over a waterfall for you.”

“I would kick Moriarty over a waterfall for you.”

“My feelings for you are so blindingly obvious, even Lestrade could work them out.”

“My feelings for you are so blindingly obvious, even Lestrade could work them out.”

“My love for you is increasing faster than Mycroft’s weight.”

“My love for you is increasing faster than Mycroft’s weight.”

“I must go deep into myself to solve this case… but first I’d like to be deep into you.”

“I must go deep into myself to solve this case… but first I’d like to be deep into you.”

“I don’t care whether you’re a Viennese alienist or a retired army surgeon– you can ask me any curious questions you like.”

“I don’t care whether you’re a Viennese alienist or a retired army surgeon– you can ask me any curious questions you like.”

“If Moriarty suggested that you and I elope, I would not find it impertinent or offensive.”

“If Moriarty suggested that you and I elope, I would not find it impertinent or offensive.”

“Forget literary criticism by means of satire. I won’t be talking because my mouth will be preoccupied.”

“Forget literary criticism by means of satire. I won’t be talking because my mouth will be preoccupied.”

“I am glad you liked my potato, but I bet that’s not the only thing about me you would like.”

“I am glad you liked my potato, but I bet that’s not the only thing about me you would like.”

“The only papers I want floating in my mind palace are love letters from you.”

“The only papers I want floating in my mind palace are love letters from you.”

“I’m a storyteller. I know when I’m in one. And meeting you was clearly my happily ever after.”

“I’m a storyteller. I know when I’m in one. And meeting you was clearly my happily ever after.”

“Communicating in the Diogenes Club isn’t the only thing I can do with these hands.”

“Communicating in the Diogenes Club isn’t the only thing I can do with these hands.”

“Are you a plum pudding? Because I would want you inside of me even if it took four months and eleven days off my life.”

“Are you a plum pudding? Because I would want you inside of me even if it took four months and eleven days off my life.”

“I would leave a note at the scene of a crime I didn’t commit just to ask if you missed me.”

“I would leave a note at the scene of a crime I didn’t commit just to ask if you missed me.”

“I may have addressed over forty percent of my remarks to your decanter, but what I’m really thirsty for is you.”

“I may have addressed over forty percent of my remarks to your decanter, but what I’m really thirsty for is you.”

“Is your name Hooper? Because you’d be the most beautiful woman in the room even if you had a mustache.”

“Is your name Hooper? Because you’d be the most beautiful woman in the room even if you had a mustache.”

“Are you a loaded firearm in the pocket of my dressing gown? Because I want to finger you.”

“Are you a loaded firearm in the pocket of my dressing gown? Because I want to finger you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti? Because you got my attention in very efficient fashion.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti? Because you got my attention in very efficient fashion.”

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