if i tried
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if i tried clips
soudas: can you even sue the president like what if you tried to sue obama and you just got a letter back saying “no” and he came to your house and did the worm
dduane: toni-tan: 0hsosketchy: ytoob: venezuelan poodle moth such a cutie it looks like it flew here straight from some anime it looks like a rabbit-fairy oh my god If you tried to invent something like this and put it in a book, everyone would
methlabrador: what if someone tried to rob a nightclub and he ran in and screamed “everyone put your hands up” and everyone was like “yeah dude” and kept dancing
punkelman: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ～ have a good day because you deserve it! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ～ and if someone tries to ruin your mood (ﾉ⊙ヮ⊙)ﾉ～ burn them.
hipster-trichster: brbjellyfishing: fun prank: wake up during open heart surgery and sing don’t go breakin’ my heart to the surgeon i couldn’t if i tried.
watsonly: soudas: can you even sue the president like what if you tried to sue obama and you just got a letter back saying “no” and he came to your house and did the worm why is it i don’t find text posts like this strange anymore
askinnyblackman: it’s weird how i’ll marathon an entire series without stopping but if someone tries to make me watch a youtube video that lasts longer than 30 seconds all i can think is “i don’t have time for this”
dasfreefree: i couldn’t make this up even if i tried
cincosechzehn: wombatking: prokopetz: yomommaboyfriend: just-shower-thoughts: If Goldilocks tried three beds, then Momma Bear and Daddy Bear slept separately. Baby Bear is probably the only thing keeping the family together. You ain’t have to put
broodingfury: Make deals with the devil while you’re still a child. Contracts signed by minors aren’t legally binding and if satan tries to take your soul he can be prosecuted. Enjoy your perfect grades and lifetime supply of chocolate.
tennybird: Do you ever just fall in love with your best friends. Like not even romantically or sexually you are just in LOVE with them bc they make your life so wonderful and you couldn’t imagine a time without them and if you tried you’d cry.This
I heard the girls talking, but didn’t pay attention. My brain was a stew of hormones now and barely functioning. My dick throbbed and couldn’t take any more attention even if I tried. I was drifting to sleep when Callie shook me awake and said, “Not
Diet ideas: Eat whatever you want, and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them too.
tashsaysmeow: dharmagun: mindfang: WHY WOULD SEGREGATING GAY BOYS FROM STRAIGHT BOYS ON CAMPING TRIPS MAKE ANY SENSE LIKE IF YOURE TRYING TO KEEP THEM FROM HAVING SEX WITH EACHOTHER YOURE LITERALLY PUTTING ALL THE BOYS WHO LIKE OTHER BOYS TOGETHER
thatsthat24: wombatking: prokopetz: yomommaboyfriend: just-shower-thoughts: If Goldilocks tried three beds, then Momma Bear and Daddy Bear slept separately. Baby Bear is probably the only thing keeping the family together. You ain’t have to put
derricknose: marshmalllow: what if tyga tried to be cute n bite Kylie’s lip and it just popped 💀
sissyrulez: Who do you think you’re fooling? Everyone knows you’re a Sissy. You couldn’t fuck me if you tried, not with that pathetic clitty. You never were really a man. You’ve always been a Sissy girl. It’s time to accept the truth. I want
disgustingassholes: I’d love to see her struggling to hold the cum inside. I bet she couldn’t if she tried. That’s just a permanently open fuck slit now.
squidpus: Hancock’s twig legs give me life, I mean COME ON he could totally kick through some spines if he tried.
Script if someone tries to out a sex worker to you:
failbag: a fun game to play with your friends is to pretend you’re a bee and run around a field screaming and eating flowers and if anyone tries to bother you punch them in the face
officialunitedstates: if someone tries to give you a high five they’re leaving their groin area open for attack so take advantage and teach them a lesson
broodingfury:Make deals with the devil while you’re still a child. Contracts signed by minors aren’t legally binding and if satan tries to take your soul he can be prosecuted. Enjoy your perfect grades and lifetime supply of chocolate.
yomommaboyfriend: just-shower-thoughts: If Goldilocks tried three beds, then Momma Bear and Daddy Bear slept seperately. Baby Bear is probably the only thing keeping the family together. You ain’t have to put those people business out like that.
haunt-my-miles: prince-squid: If you tried to live on iceburg lettuce alone, you would have to eat 34 heads of lettuce daily and you would spend ม,551 annually before dying of multiple nutrient deficiencies. why was this calculated
Because i was feeling sad and hopeless i bought tickets to go and see my friend in Amsterdam in May. Something to look forward to, and do i feel better now (even if i’m not sure i can do this everytime i feel blue!!!).
sspectre: hyperbali: pagerunner-j: He is. In front. Of. fucking. Ivar’s. *Page stares in awe* This game couldn’t get any more SEATTLE!!! if it tried. falls into catatonic state of suppressed memories Walk by this place every time I’m in town
REBLOG if you tried doing this:
“I’m old enough and cranky enough now that if someone tried to tell me what to do, I’d tell them where to put it.”- Dolly Parton
bitch-nuggets: wizardshark: interquast: men are honestly so dumb it’s enchanting Hoooly shit Jesus Christ this is so terrifying and embarrassing and such a good example of fragile masculinity. And guys ask why we don’t fight harder/if we tried
nwmonkeygirl: I couldn’t be normal if I tried. ~mg
likebutnotliam: dalek536: beaugarcon88: Archives. If I tried this now, I’d probably hurt my back. God, this was five years ago. With a cock like that you should never have to suck it for yourself! Truth.
not-a-space-alien: proofreading my own writing like wow. u sure do love those commas, buddy. what if u tried to cool it with all those commas, pal. all those run-ons, friend. why don’t you tone it down, my guy
aplpaca: you ever go casually nonverbal like it suddenly takes way too much energy to move your mouth and say stuff and you wouldnt be able to physically force more than a few words out if you tried but youre not stressed or anything its just kinda like
jaclcfrost: pairing you really love pairing you couldn’t give a shit about even if you tried
exhibitionistatheart: The thing about being a “bigger” woman is never feeling comfortable being picked up. If someone tries to pick me up, I wiggle and thrash and try to get away..yet… my secret little girl desire is to be lifted off the ground,
jdslockedboy: Just another afternoon. Waiting for Sir to come in and unlock and edge my cock now that I am secured and cannot get at my cock if I tried. Only he can touch it. Only he can allow it pleasure. Only he can make me beg to cum only to laugh
sirjocktrainer: Flex anywhere and any time, and if someone tries saying it’s weird just ignore them and flex again.
I couldn’t have written this better if I tried.
I'm only going on dates if they involve:
thewriterkid: If anybody tries to tell you that Ferguson is full of crazy rioters and looters and animals and the police response is justified, show them this. Then please slap them for me.
dasfreefree:i couldn’t make this up even if i tried
flacidfeline: oreansyvaa: HAVE YOU EVER HEARD WHAT A PORCUPINE SOUNDS LIKE? WELL YOU HAVE NOW! look at this little cutie! it almost sounds like he could talk if he tried hard enough uguuuu so cute~ im cryin
littlegirlslikespankings: Posting this for a friend’s friend. ***Littles, subs, pets, etc. avoid this person if he tries talking to you***
eyeballsarchive: yomommaboyfriend: just-shower-thoughts: If Goldilocks tried three beds, then Momma Bear and Daddy Bear slept seperately. Baby Bear is probably the only thing keeping the family together. You ain’t have to put those people business
tippykazoo:I’m starting to think dragons have it right. Hang out in a cave with all your favorite stuff and if anybody tries to bug you, you just blow fire at them and go back to sleep.
