i was like
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neenorroar: chrom-o-ween: My favorite story is that one time Tolkien was with some writer friends and he was like “oh I’ve got a new story to show you guys” and one of them was like “as long as it’s not more fucking elves” and it was it
just-a-penis-with-a-dream:I remember when I was like in first grade there was this group boys that would make fun of me and like one time one of them said I dropped something under the table and when I reached down to grab it his penis was out I was in
tiny-septic-box-sam: trashfirefallon: trashfirefallon: I had sex in a graveyard and was walking around nude cause it was like 80 degrees and I was all sweaty and it was like midnight or whatever. So this car rolls up out of nowhere and I’m stark fucken
condorn: Ok so when i went to this church retreat thing this guy was telling us a story about his friend who was sitting on a plane next to Eminem the rapper but she had no clue that it was him ok. So he like looked at her and was like “ you arent
littlemammal: at work last week i was ringing up this guys order and when he signed i was trying to read his signature and i was like “is your last name Duck?” and he got really nervous and he was like “oh nobodys ever uhh noticed before…. i
gorgoon: Today I was talking to my dad and I referred to myself as his son(I’m genderfluid btw) and he said “Today’s a Son day huh?” And I was like “yeah” And he was like “huh, I thought today was a Saturday, not a Sunday” And I just
theroguefeminist: gooberascendant: gorgoon: Today I was talking to my dad and I referred to myself as his son(I’m genderfluid btw) and he said “Today’s a Son day huh?” And I was like “yeah” And he was like “huh, I thought today was
theroguefeminist: gooberascendant: gorgoon: Today I was talking to my dad and I referred to myself as his son(I’m genderfluid btw) and he said “Today’s a Son day huh?” And I was like “yeah” And he was like “huh, I thought today was a
aloepusher: “her skin was like chocolate that was the color of her skin. her eyes were also brown, like chocolate, but a type of chocolate that was a different shade of brown than her skin. her hair was as black as very very dark chocolate, and she
trashfirefallon: I had sex in a graveyard and was walking around nude cause it was like 80 degrees and I was all sweaty and it was like midnight or whatever. So this car rolls up out of nowhere and I’m stark fucken naked. I’m also white as fuck.
the-devils-by-my-side: I walked into my sisters ( Paris ) room today and there was blood all over the floor but not like she had cut herself. It was like it was dripping because there was water to. So I went into the bathroom and found this. She forgot
everets: i got this toothbrush at a convenient store cause i had to brush my teeth before my dentist appt. and it was behind the counter. and the guy was like.. do u want a certain color? and i was like i dont care. and this pink one was the first one
rihsusvevo: chainsawpunk: hahaha let me tell you, a few months ago I met this really cute guy and I seriously thought that he was a bottom because you know he was shorter than me, he was like “babe I’m a top” and I was like “sure hunny” but
yes?
trashfirefallon: trashfirefallon: I had sex in a graveyard and was walking around nude cause it was like 80 degrees and I was all sweaty and it was like midnight or whatever. So this car rolls up out of nowhere and I’m stark fucken naked. I’m also
kitfisto: oh actually the funniest part of my dream was that i saw these two people i went to primary school with and i was trying to get past them and one of them looked at me and was like “WOAH, fat titties” and i was like “can you please let
daisenseiben: lil-mizz-jay: I had a dream where a girl had this like, big horrifying bone creature on a leash, like it looked like something out of Dark Souls And another lady was like “Oh my, what breed is he?” And she was like “Eldritch!” And
paper-mario-wiki:i was just in the market and was talking to the bagging lady about the weather since its been really warm and i was sayin how i dont like the heat and prefer the cold and she was like “oh yeah i get that” and i said “cuz you can
vampireapologist: vampireapologist: vampireapologist: i was never seen again. this was the best time ever bc my host had just changed the tire and I was like “oh hell yeah an old tractor tire! you know what that means!” and everyone was like “no….”
schizophrenicarchivist-remade-d:When I was little my mom’s meatloaf was my favorite food. But ONLY her meatloaf. I didn’t like anyone else’s, and she told me that she would teach me how to make it when I was older. And when I was like 19? She finally
tiny-septic-box-sam: trashfirefallon: trashfirefallon: I had sex in a graveyard and was walking around nude cause it was like 80 degrees and I was all sweaty and it was like midnight or whatever. So this car rolls up out of nowhere and I’m stark
So today I was in a car accident and the medic guy had to take off my jacket. The first thing he said was, you listen to punk, don't you? I was like wow yeah how'd you know? He was like, your shirt, bracelets, your attitude and your scars. Upon seeing
condorn: Ok so when i went to this church retreat thing this guy was telling us a story about his friend who was sitting on a plane next to Eminem the rapper but she had no clue that it was him ok. So he like looked at her and was like ” you arent
ragingpaige: omfg I was walking home from the bus stop and I saw this elderly couple where this woman was pushing her husband in a wheelchair and I was like “aw that’s cute” but as I got closer to them I heard them talking and she was like “you’re
official-daft-punk: ok so the other day i was at sears. I was in the baby section. Im standing there looking at clothes and a lady who works there comes up and is like “oh are you expecting?” And i was like “uhhhh” and because im a dumbass i was
billiemania: “I started talking to this girl, she was like, ‘I’m going to the show tonight!’ and I was like, ‘Oh, cool, I’m going to the show too!’ she was really fucking cool, she had a green day shirt on from the last tour and she was
1612th: in 4th grade there was this girl who had a collection of furbies and one day she brought like 12 in to class and she was sitting in the back licking them and biting their hair off and i asked her what she was doing and she was like “im feeling
africans: one time i was watching jeopardy and the category was “Popes” and the guy was like “I’ll take 1600 Popes” and i was like THATS TOO MANY POPES TOO MANY POPES
hagridspumpkin: “I remember actually after watching the film, the person I was most nervous about finding out their opinion was Evanna. I go up to Evanna just like, ‘What did you think?’ It was really, really scary. But she loved it so I was like,
cuckoldhusband: We had a guy come over for a threesome and his dick was about 2 inches longer then mine but it was like twice as thick. my wife was bent over on the bed like this BBW is but she was between my legs sucking my dick. well the guy went
dingdongyouarewrong:one time i was in a pub in london and saw lemonade on the menu and i was like mmmm lemonade!!! but i’ve been to australia and been tricked before so i was like hey is this actual lemonade lemonade or is it just sprite and she was
lnnea: when i was like 10 i thought i was lesbian because i had looked at a girls butt once or twice and i was really worried so i went to my mum and she was like “it’s perfectly normal to admire someone elses butt, linnea”
NO BECAUSE THEN ITS AWKWARD AND I GET SO UPSET. one time, when i was 12 i went to an all night skate at the rink but when i got there I figured out it was the next Saturday and there was like 20 people there and I was by myself for like half an hour and
Cos Siva is a loser, I was taking a picture of the boys on the wall, he walked infront of my camera whilst I was taking the picture. I was like “Thanks for that Seev!” He was just like “HAHAHA Got it!” And wandered off. Obvious
