i was like
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stilesisaspookyassbutt: lol earlier tonight my mother was like “i blame you for making her so weird” and pointed at my dad and my dad was like “well i blame HER for making me a nerd” and pointed at me and i was all confused and then hes like
puppymother: in grade 11 i was on the phone w this boy i wanted and i owed him a favour or something so i was like “it can be anything you want” and he was like “anything?” and im like ya thats what i fuckin said and he goes “can you explain
daftlypunk: i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the
rexuality: my mom and dad were arguing in front of me whether to give me a present now or to wait til christmas and my mom was like “can we give her it now?” and my dad was like “what present” and my mom was like “you know… the good one”
organmeat: daftlypunk: i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered
otterboxes: today during class this guy kept reaching into his bag and my teacher was like put your phone up and he didn’t and she was like kenny give me your phone or you’re going to the office and he was like its not a phone and then pulled out
When I was a kid and my dad would call a restaurant to make an order I used to believe he was saying “I’d like to play señora” instead of “I’d like to place an order”. So for years I used to believe that you had
j1nguyen: kristinconway: me: I wanna seee…john: (I start laughing so hard in class. Then this girl behind me was like.. what are you gonna say? I saw that. I was like, I put .. “WTF AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA YOU’RE UGLY.” but then she was like :O
jackstroubleinatanktop: supreme-kitten: -stonecoldfox: So, my mom went to the store and called and asked if I wanted anything. I was like, “Yeah, get me some facewash please.” And she was like, “What kind?” And I was like, “The kind for your
holymotherofhnng: It was incredibly awkward. It was like some weird social experiment, it felt like, we grew up together, and then they were like, kiss. It was weird. I mean, Dan’s very chatty and friendly and funny and we just kind of laughed
ostracizedpoodle: last night i went to cvs to buy lube, i was walking around looking for it and this lady came up to me and was like “can i help you find something?” and i’m like “lube” and she was like “no we don’t sell car stuff here”
soot-answers: Today in math we were doing some sort of geometry problem And I’m just sitting there Then I saw a triangle and I was like; “Ah. The scalene triangle” And my math teacher was all like “Looks like someone has a tumblr.” I was scREAMING
staircasespirits: swexan: libraryshalalala: 50shadesofbellamy: I’d just like to point out that 50 Shades of Grey was Twilight fanfic and Twilight was inspired by Muse so when you think about it, it’s kinda because of Muse that 50 Shades was written
ahomieboyslife: today at the show pete was like “if you didn’t know we’re called the fall out boys” and patrick was like “we’re not called the fall out boys” and pete was like “oh yeah”
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: they played “i’ll stop the world and melt with you” in stranger things and my mom was like “i love that song” and i was like “me too!” and she was like “how TF do you know that song?!” and i didn’t
theofficenerd: niam-ate-nouis: -stonecoldfox: So, my mom went to the store and called and asked if I wanted anything. I was like, “Yeah, get me some facewash please.” And she was like, “What kind?” And I was like, “The kind for your face.”
trans-reaper: reaper was prescribed a back brace 4 his chronic pain but he was like nah i gotta make this look cool so he completely redesigned it to look like a spine hes got a motion control knee braces as well and he was like well u kno what lets
alexseanchai: dotted-sixteenth: aloeveragel: I remember in my Arabic class we were going over the alphabet and the teacher was like there’s no ‘P’ etc and this white girl was like wait what but my names Paige and my teacher was like lol then we’d
ostracizedpoodle:last night i went to cvs to buy lube, i was walking around looking for it and this lady came up to me and was like “can i help you find something?” and i’m like “lube” and she was like “no we don’t sell car stuff here”
highschoolhandjobs: i was reading up on how to handle emotions and someone was like “allow yourself to feel the emotions but set a time limit” and i was like yeah ok i do that makes sense but then they were like “give yourself a day or 2” ???
egberts:my five year old brother was just like “whys there a sun” and im distracted so i was like “idk” and he was like “UGH ITS JUST A MYSTERY BIG GIANT LIGHT BULB” and im laughing so hard omfg
zaynmalif: this grown ass man at the mall was talking to me and he goes “what are you like 21, 22?” and i was like “no I’m 17………..” and he was like “Even better haha” LKIEK HOW NASTY CAN A PERSON BE
Josh talking about the shooting incident. “I was like standing right here, and Brett and I were about to walk outside and he was like ‘Alright man, let’s go!’ and right here we hear *gagagaga!* and I looked at him and I was like ‘Has someone
rootbeersweetheart: tippingvelvets: today at work a little kid came in to order their birthday cake and their mom was like “(deep sigh) tell them what you want on your cake” and the kid was like “ELSA” and the mom was like “(deeper sigh) and?”
supreme-kitten: -stonecoldfox: So, my mom went to the store and called and asked if I wanted anything. I was like, “Yeah, get me some facewash please.” And she was like, “What kind?” And I was like, “The kind for your face.” And then she
diveinthedark: so someone asked “if you could change anything about your past what would it be” and ash was like nothing and Michael was like everything happens for a reason, getting a collective aw out of the audience but cal was like actually there
computernoise: I had a dream I was watching keeping up with the kardashians and Kylie had gotten cyborg legs like they had taken the legs of an AT-ST from Star Wars and put them on her lower half so she was like 11 feet tall and Kim was like “I think
