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kabutocub: Anonymous asked you: ever done anything in public? faboom answered your question: spit,swallow, or snow ball myreach said: Tell us about your hopes and dreams. shanedraws said: What makes you laugh?
teatrical: i have a friend whos gay and one day we asked him what was like to have “the conversation” with his parents, like telling them he was gay and he just said he never told them, and then he said “my brother who’s straight never went to
did-you-kno: In 1988, the late Israel Kamakawiwo'ole called a sound studio at 3am, said he had an idea, and asked if he could come record. He was so polite, the studio owner said yes even though it was late. He showed up 15 minutes later, sang
tomhiddlesun: glasses-of-doom: the-silence: my doctor asked me earlier if I was pregnant obviously I said no, then he turned around and said ‘well how do you know without a test?’ I was like I know because no one has stuck their penis in my vagina.
eeveelutional:assbutt-of-my-dreams:sailorlune:kattomatic:ericjudysbeard:Working at LUSH: the sagaI have had men some into a store I used to work at asking if “this hairspray will work on men” and when I said yes they said “but it’s purple”
nutcruchgirls:So I went to get a massage. The chick was SO hot and kept touching close to my dong. Finally I asked “how much for the happy ending”. She said 贄. I said go. Half way through I grabbed her ass. Well apparently that is a no
fuckinly-hot-sis: My brother said I’m the fastest learner he’s ever met! I asked him if we should use a condom but he convinced me not to, he said “All the really good girls don’t make you do that.”
steadymobbing: steadymobbing: i asked my mom how she met my dad and she said at a college basketball game this guy got distracted and got hit by the ball and got a huge bloody nose and he came up to her after the game and said “i was distracted by
bucklesup: my health teacher asked for different ways to prevent pregnancy and i said “do it in the butt” and i got extra credit because no one has ever said that before
chosenprat: I punched a guy bc he was making rape jokes and one of the things he said was “what’s the difference between yes and no? Nothing” so I asked him if he’d care if I punched him in the face and he said yes but I did it anyway since
arnold-ziffel: My friend said cows and pigs are a global warming problem and asked me what I was doing about it. I said “I’m eating them as fast as I can.”
soundthecanon: My friend asked me what FMA character he reminded me of. I said Falman. He didn’t know who Falman was. He said I reminded him of Kimblee. I don’t know if I’m flattered or insulted.
robert-downey-jesus: I SERVED A KID DRESSED AS IRON MAN TODAY AND I ASKED HIM WHAT HIS NAME WAS AND HE SAID IT WAS TONY AND HIS MUM SHOOK HER HEAD AND WAS LIKE NO HIS NAME IS JESSE AND I LOOKED BACK AT THE KID TO GIVE HIM HIS CHANGE AND SAID ‘HAVE
initiala: A little girl in my 4th grade class came up to me after recess and said, “I got married at recess!” and I said “Oh? I didn’t know anyone was ordained under the age of twelve.” and she asked me what ordained meant and I explained and
transatlanticwanker: french-toast-with-maple-syrup: SO WE WENT OUT FOR DINNER AND WE STOPPED AT STARBUCKS ON OUR WAY HOME AND I ORDERED AND THEY ASKED ME MY NAME AND I SAID “LORD VOLDEMORT” AND ONCE IT WAS READY I SHIT YOU NOTTHE LADY SAID “TALL
m456g785445-kkkk-j4h58f7f8g9gl88: yesterday someone at college asked me if i was on tumblr and i said yeas and he said what’s the url and i giggled
awkwardvagina: in middle school we had to do a discussion about our family and a girl in my class stood up to talk about her family and she said she lived with her mum and sister, one of the kids asked about her dad and she said that he had died, so
markkruffalo: today i was in hot topic with my mom and there was a bra with Simba on it so I asked her “want a lion king bra?” she said “why would i?” so I put it in front of my chest and said “hakuna ma tatas” she had to leave the store
marvelobsessions: At the dinner table, my sister asked all of us what color we thought her boyfriend’s shirt looked like. After we all said gray, she turned to him and said “now tell them what color you think it is” and he just quietly replied
catsuitmonarchy: bi-privilege: watching an episode of chopped and in the final round they asked one of the contestants what she would do with บk and she said “I have student loans to pay off” and one of the judges said “don’t spend the money
sebastian46: So my female coworker asked if I could get her a cup of coffee from the break room I said ok. Well…. I can feel the cum dripping out of my pussy so I literally got a spoon scooped it out two full spoons and put it in her coffee. She said
foxmouth: “A lot of people just look and see skin color. I’ve actually had people ask me was I Black or was I White first. A White gentleman came up to me and said ‘I thought you might be White, but then I saw your lips.’ One girl said to me
assbutt-of-my-dreams:sailorlune:kattomatic:ericjudysbeard:Working at LUSH: the saga I have had men some into a store I used to work at asking if “this hairspray will work on men” and when I said yes they said “but it’s purple” My whole life!
mollywobbles123: onlydadjokes: I asked my nephew how old his dad was and he replied “six”. I said how can he only be six if you’re six? He said “because he’s only been a dad since I was born”
lokiloo: So today this family came into the restaurant and I while I was serving them, their son saw my Iron Man and Captain America charms and said ‘Avengers! I love the Avengers!’ I smiled and asked who his favorite was, and he said “Iron Man!’
novahoudini: imessaged: In my 10 year old brother’s class they were asked for “a modern invention you can’t live without” and my brother told me everyone said tv except for him who said “water filtration” Your bro is going places 💅🏽
prochoice-chick: theadventurepants: pir8grl: doodleloser: dredsina: I have no concept of the pain scale, like…I just realized that last week I said I was in especially awful hip pain and when my pt asked to rate it I said “3”. And then this
percypan: THIS GUY JUST ASKED ME WHAT MY NAME WAS AND I DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT HE SAID SO I SAID 4:45
babyyoureacriminal: chosenprat: I punched a guy bc he was making rape jokes and one of the things he said was “what’s the difference between yes and no? Nothing” so I asked him if he’d care if I punched him in the face and he said yes but I did
deepthroatdemon: my mom heard the beginning of same love by macklemore and she looked at me and said “when you were 4 you sat in your room and cried for hours and when i asked you what was wrong you said “mom i think i’m black”
babyyoureacriminal:chosenprat: I punched a guy bc he was making rape jokes and one of the things he said was “what’s the difference between yes and no? Nothing” so I asked him if he’d care if I punched him in the face and he said yes but I did
beyhive1992: “I met Beyoncé, which was one of my dreams. She asked to meet me, and i went and said hi to her. It was crazy, she took my breath away. She said to me my voice is like butter.So i’m done for life now, i don’t need to do anything
ilyxkim: mfpimpin: mikmaaac: Worlds Fastest Talker? - claims to say 650 words in a minute. if you ask ME, this fool dun GOOFED. i didn’t hear a SINGLE word she said. I like ROFL’d the moment she started “reading” HAHAHAHA my cousin said when
elikicksass: This guy who my friend talked to today because she wanted to know if he went out with this girl then ask how he met her, and he said Facebook. She’s all like “you never met her but you go out with her?” then he said “yeah, I meet
kerihilsonscareer: my brother just walked into my room and i asked him what he was looking for then he said my ‘my swag’ and looked into the mirror then he said oh i found it
I really hate coming to Chinatown sometimes. These racist mother fuckers talking about me in Chinese and laughing. I told my dad what they said about me and confronted them, asking for the manager and my dad said; “Don’t you ever think twice before
imessaged: In my 10 year old brother’s class they were asked for “a modern invention you can’t live without” and my brother told me everyone said tv except for him who said “water filtration”
liamdunburs:kids have no concept of anything. i walked into my kindergarten class and one kid asked me what my name was. when i said miss jones, he said “i like that name. did you know i’m in love with you”
littlegypsydance: When I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, he jokingly said, “Pizza, video games, and pussy.” I just rolled my eyes and said, “Typical. Well, we’re having dinner together that night so don’t make any plans!” He
shelikesithuge:When you asked your girl if you could have unprotected intercourse, she said, “No way.” I guess it was too risky.This guy just straight up said, “I don’t do condoms. It’s either raw, or not at all.”This is the third load he’s
bob-belcher:I got an email from a guy who said that he was really depressed and was about to hurt himself when a friend called and asked him to go dancing. He said no, he didn’t want to go out. And then after he hung up the phone, he remembered that
inceztum: My eyes were fixated on my Sister’s great tits as she said “There….you happy? Now give me my money.” “Well hold on a second,” I said, surprised this had worked when she asked to borrow 20 bucks, and was curious
freakyboysonly: walking back to the house with my stepbrother. Told him I wanted some rough sex, he said him too then asked if I ever messed around with a dude. I said yea and he was like word?! We were silent til we got home and went straight to work
