and was like
NSFW Tumblr
find and was like on porn pin board
and was like clips
My uncle caught my baby daddy last night outside my window and had a pistol on him. They made a couple jokes here and there but he felt hella awkward and was like “I didn’t know your uncle was black” yada yada yada. Yeh babe, they didn’t know
radioirwin: radioirwin: i was in the car with my mum today and she stopped reversing and looks at me and was like “is that a hickey ??? On ur neck ?????? did a boy do that to u ????????? i thought u’d be alone forever on ur laptop.” the hickey
Last night I was at a poetry reading where some of my professors read their work. My favorite professor who teaches nonfiction came up to me and was like “I misss you!” And he said it so genuinely and it made me so happy! I just screamed
My boss said young Lisa Bonet would play me in a movie about my life and I was like: ummm sir, do you want me to kiss you cause I will
undergroundghosts: SO MY MOM GAVE ME A PACKAGE THAT CAME FOR ME TODAY AND SO I OPENED IT IN FRONT OF HER AND I JUST FROZE BECAUSE IT’S A FUCKING BALL GAG SO I JUST CALMLY PUT IT AROUND MY NECK AND SHE WAS LIKE “THAT’S SUCH A CUTE CHOKER!” AND
heavybreathingswift: monica-geller: omg yesterday at work my boss handed me a cheque and was like ‘i need you to deliver it to this building, it’s quite a large amount of money so be careful’ and i looked at it and it was just over 1.4 million
targayen: IN MIDDLE SCHOOL THERE WAS THIS GUY AND ONE DAY HE WORE SWEATPANTS AND ONE OF THE DEANS SAW THE PHONE IN HIS POCKET AND WAS LIKE “YOU CANT HAVE PHONE DURING SCHOOL YOU HAVE TO GIVE IT TO ME FOR THE REST OF THE CLASS PERIOD” BUT IT WASNT
teenpipefan413:radioirwin: radioirwin: i was in the car with my mum today and she stopped reversing and looks at me and was like “is that a hickey ??? On ur neck ?????? did a boy do that to u ????????? i thought u’d be alone forever on ur laptop.”
chinuplittlepup: She stood up, she was so nice, and she points to Jay-Z and was like, “Oh, we just watched you on the Kennedy Center Honors, you were so great. You were so cute in your little red dress.” And she said that I had a little red dress,
meladoodle: godlykesha: meladoodle: one time my dad tripped over some ice and was like ‘this is JUST like the titanic’ is this the same dad that once called you dad no, that was a different dad. i have thousands of dads that ive synthesised in
lemme-sit-this-aaash-onya: coutois: anomaly1: zumainthyfuture: FAM…. The pic I was like “oh….” then I read the caption and was like “OH!!!!” 🙏 im so stressed rn
swagneato: needsmoreexplosions: swagneato: full offense but if magneto showed up on my doorstep today and was like “youre a human, mutants are superior and it’s time for you to die” id be like youre right my man. take me out i like the implication
rtahuniverse: autumngracy: joecarrolltho: thatfunnyblog: “why do people choose between pepsi and coke, they both taste the same” alouise311 Fun fact:Coca-cola was invented before the widespread use of refrigeration, and was therefore formulated
kitfisto: i dreamt i made a really funny tumblr post if only i could remember it. also dreamt that liam neesons name was qian zeeson and i woke up and was like man that’s hilarious and wrote it in my notes so i wouldn’t forget then i went back to
gluten-free-pussy:This girl I was talking to on Tinder gave me her Snap and immediately sent me a nude so I zoomed in on the TV in the background and was like “why are you Watching Paw Patrol? You said you had no kids”. And she blocked me
sherlockthefallenangel: meladoodle: godlykesha: meladoodle: one time my dad tripped over some ice and was like ‘this is JUST like the titanic’ is this the same dad that once called you dad no, that was a different dad. i have thousands of dads
hauty: holy shit at first i was like what a dumb transparent picture then i saw it on someones blog and was like HOLY FUCKING SHIT. omg this is so cool
girlyshippings: noblemaidensweets: My dad is like “I hope you get a boyfriend who likes to fish I WILL TAKE HIM FISHING” and then sorta stopped and was like “Or a girl I dont care I want to take theM FISHING” FISHING
starxapple: the ships that i end up investing myself the most in are the ones where at first im like, “meh i guess i can see that” and then somewhere along the line my brain just fucking snaps and i cant control myself its like a demons possessed me
throh: ollivander: flowergirlrobichiko: the only acceptable reason #I was gonna be like nooooo but then I was like yoooo TITTY 2 BOMB
accario: lookinq: hauty: holy shit at first i was like what a dumb transparent picture then i saw it on someones blog and was like HOLY FUCKING SHIT. omg this is so cool wtf omg so cool clipped my blog
alxvse: #she made her lemonade#like she purposely bought a bunch of ingredients#and took time out of her day to make lemonade for piper#like she mustve been doing whatever and was like#‘yknow what piper would enjoy? lemonade" (via saltshakertat)
trashystashie:this is the most beautiful, perfect and pure video I have ever seen.
ebonyshy:thechocolateprince: coutois: anomaly1: zumainthyfuture: FAM…. The pic I was like “oh….” then I read the caption and was like “OH!!!!” No comment necessary.
thetallblacknerd: So it’s my cheat day so I said “fuck it Imma have a pizza”. I dial up pizza hut and was like “Can I have a medium pizza”. The lady on the phone was like “ One minute….we ran out of medium”“We ran out of medium”Don’t
I just made a quesedilla and while I was talking to my mom Effie climbed up next to me on the couch and was literally taking bites out of it while I’m still holding it after she just ate her own breakfast & that’s what it’s like being a mom
so my character on gta is a girl and my brother was playing as her to level her up because I suck and this guy just picked ‘me’ up and was like: you look good sex? which is obviously strange because I’m a bunch of pixels dude but then
gaylawyers: “i’m so good at Smash” i say as i press random buttons while facing the wrong way and scream out loud when i fall off
I just watched a video saying that women (at least in their country) are supposed to get their first pap test when they are 25 but im positive I got mine when I was 17-18 (also my first breast exam and the lady was like ‘oh its easy to feel lymph nodes
little happy healthy relationship moment: so yesterday I was supposed to go to this farm with my sister and her husband and son for easter but the night before she texted me and was like ‘oh my mother in law wants to come so can you find another way
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partyshoggoth: Oh No That Was Probably A Really Weird Thing To Say Wasnt It: A Memoir
theshadyshow: eminemthefiremarshall: eminemfans: Eminem and pigeons?!? Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/johnnyvillamar/ I was so excited to read this article and I opened it up and was like “ay yo what the fuck why did he let them do
chasingmaterialistic: radioirwin: radioirwin: i was in the car with my mum today and she stopped reversing and looks at me and was like “is that a hickey ??? On ur neck ?????? did a boy do that to u ????????? i thought u’d be alone forever on
mariebelspotato: This has literally happened to me. My friend and I were grindin at homecoming and are teacher walked up to us and was like “leave room for the holy spirit.” Monday was frickin awkward in English.
spoopyshattery replied to your post: oh man i just conked out for like 4 ho…all tuckered out after the nintendo E3 stuff? c:hahaha yeah i went to bed after that but i was out earlier for dinner and was food-tired
godtiermidi replied to your post: blackbearthoughts replied to your post…yeah i saw that post and was like “fuck off tumblr”some friends and mutuals reblogged it and i was so disappointed
I’m proud of myself. I made the decision to start getting up at 8 and when my alarm went off this morning, I set it again for 9, but then I realized what I was doing and was like fuck that noise and made myself get up. Then I went for a run (well,
shabbalabadicklong: peep shawty page like seen she was 16 and was like
I want a knife but I also don’t trust myself with a weapon. I’d start feeling all itchy like when I feel a strong impulse to do something that’s probably wrong and end up stabbing myself or something just to see what it was like.
paskoneho: skindeap: sexponents: Heard u was talkin shit One time I ate a candy cane in class - teachers with holiday spirit - and some douche leaned over and was like “I got something bigger you can suck” and instead of replying I stabbed him
reeves3 replied to your post:asouthernrussian replied to your post: Keep…Have porridge…that’s nice and bland. :Pahhh the main problem with that is that its super filling and thats what causes me to feel queasy. I have emetophobia, so if I
