shipless
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“I have a problem… and there is only one way that I can solve it… I need to kiss someone.â€
“Are you the London Aquarium? Because you’re soaking wet and coming inside you made me go to Heaven.â€
“Show me your Lady Bracknell and I’ll give you my salty seaman.”Submitted (with photo suggestion) by a user who requested to remain anonymous.
“If you came to my house in the middle of the night, my umbrella sword isn’t the only thing I’d be whipping out.”
“Are you the well that Victor Trevor died in? Because I’m about to go deep inside you and feel how wet you are.”
“I could never forget you, even if my dad gave me TD12.”
“Are you John’s therapist’s flower vase? Because when I look at you, I see a tall glass of water.”
“I love you more than Sherlock loves ginger nuts.”
“If I be the Thatcher bust, will you be the flash drive? I want you inside of me.”
“Forget the morgue. My real favorite room is your bedroom.”
“Are you Eurus’s cell? Because I refuse to stay at least three feet away from you.”
“Forget science or cannibals… Nobody is more grateful for your body than me.”
“I must be a Patience Grenade. Every move you make makes me about to blow.”
“My heart isn’t much of a target, but Cupid still managed to hit it when I first laid eyes on you.”
“My code name is Antarctica because I have such an impressive ‘South Pole.’“
“Are you one of the boys from the cafe? Because I would let you drop me… into your bed.”
“We’re not like the gravestones at Musgrave Hall. Our dates will never be wrong.”
“I hope nobody needs to say ‘Norbury’ to me when I ask you out.”
“Are you the night Magnussen got shot? Because I’d like to slap my ‘D-notice’ on your ‘incident.’“
“I usually make clients sit in The Chair, but you can sit on my face if you’d prefer.”
“Are you my flash drive? Because I would smash six busts of Margaret Thatcher just to get you back.”
“You’re cooler than a dangerous breakfast.”
“Are you an unanswered question on my mantle? Because I want to stab you… with my penis.”
“If you were a Power Ranger action figure, I would pretend my bed was Charlie Welsborough’s car just so I could tie you to it.”
“I fell for you faster than Mrs. Hudson can drive.”
“My dick is so huge, I make porn stars look like Faith Smith’s kitchen.”
“Deciding whether Lady Smallwood’s first name should be Elizabeth or Alicia is hard, but not as hard as my cock.”
“My love for you is so strong, not even Sherrinford could contain it.”
“Forget the Thatcher busts. The only bust I’m interested in is yours.”
“Your ass is like Rosie’s rattle: If you keep throwing it in my face, I’ll keep grabbing it.”
“The Borgia Pearl is too boring for me, but I’d love to make you my Borgia girl.”
“The ‘sixteen by six’ in Eurus’s song is actually referring to the length and circumference of my penis.”
“Are you the Diogenes Club? Because you can have me without a word.”Based on a suggestion by @madspades.
feranelia: Some late night Giovanni/Red that Bella wanted me to post here<3 And because I’m always having Gio/Red feels ;w; This zombie/infected AU was supposed to be shipless. WAS. oops
