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why is everything so unpredictable? shit needs to stop surprising me because its exhausting. I was doing well for a while too until things started happening too much
I just want things to stop.
I’m anxious and feel unsafe
why am i even still up? its not like I have any reason to be awake. It doesnt really matter much though. Im just as useless awake as I am when asleep. But when Im asleep I don’t have to think about it.
How and why am I still alive?
I want to die.
I was eating pistachio nuts and I pulled the shell off of one to find another shell inside. I opened that shell to find…Nothing. I am that shell in a shell that’s good for nothing but wasting someones time.
for someone with no real responsibilities or social life other than a job and a phone bill I sure get overwhelmed easilly
Sometimes I think about trying to interact with my mutuals but then I get embarrassed and anxious and it fucks me up. Because is a great way to make friends is to randomly tell them creepy or weird shit.
I’m trying to go to sleep but when I close my eyes I see green visuals on darkness like in 5 he matrix.
You know what sucks? Wishing you had friends to hang out with, but knowing that you don’t have the energy to actually maintain proper friendships, and knowing it would be unfair to any potential person you might happen to try to make friends with.
IVew been so fucked up for like a month. Cant focus at work Ive been mostly neglecting my best friend Everything sucks :(
I hate how fast things seem to go in life. It just stresses me out. Sometimes I feel Like my brain is too overclocked and is experiencing errors, resulting in a slower processing rate. Almost like a knock sensor in a car, pulling timing out and running
to add to that post, It seems that alcohol slows me down to a point that I can relax and actually process things and slow down mentally. I wish I could be this calm and collected all the time. I wish that I could upgrade my brain the way I can upgrade
I just want to be normal.
I want to extend a sincere fuck you to the ho/_nda car company for this fucking recall that is ruining every single night of my life at work.
Im really starting to hate my job.
Things need to slow down and STOP HAPPENING
Having friends just isn’t worth the trouble.
it seems that the only one I will ever cuddle with and fall asleep with is my Chespin plush. I could never allow myself to disturb an actual living person with my leg pumping and tossing and turning. Cats won’t even stay with me.
I think I’ve figured out why people stop talking g to me. I’m boring g and they get sick of how unintresting i am and realize there’s nothing of worth to be had from knowing me
I want to talk with people. Just talk about nothing in particular. Everything goes into overdrive when I think about it and I panic when I even think about it. I pretty much just look at your names and freak the fuck out.
I’m laying in bed trying to rest and I have a headache and I keep seeing giant chess pieces (rook, bishop, and knight) orbiting a floating toilet when I close my eyes.
I keep hallucinating very real seeming interactions with random people at work. I’m pretty sure I’m at home but it’s very disorienting to keep jumping back and forth
I don’t have the time to get things that need to be done at home finished , mostly because I’m so tired from work. I can take vacations but when I take a week off nothing gets done and I just spend the whole time sleeping until it’s time to go
I just finished cleaning up my room a bit and putting away clean laundry that had been washed last week and pulled some more stuff out of the dryer that had been there for 2 days and did another load thats currently in the dryer. I also went through some
I had a long “me work” weekendFirst I slept like 13 hours on saturday then spent 4 hours working on the “racecar” I own, then relaxed because my back was really hurting.I did some cleaning and read some stuff Ive had saved to review. I was exahusted
THis year has still been shitty but at least Im sorta getting things accomplished.
I just want to catch up. This house is so messy and cluttered and the yard has been neglected for years and I’m still only halfway though the first step of getting the yard back in shape. There are trees that need to be cut down before they fall down,
I just found out that someone I knew died a year ago. I mean I’m sad, but not completely distraught about it. Disappointed because I hadn’t seen them for a while, but how did I miss the miles of memorial facebook posts?
I’m hesitant to call people on this site that I hardly communicate with “friends” (not that I don’t care about them). I’ve had bad experiences with people (when I was very young) that apparently dispised me and i was oblivious to it and they
Thinking back to when I was a kid the way I felt most of the time was almost drunk. Im not sure if it was my medication. You know the stereotype of the drunk asshole hitting on people and making them uncomfortable? That’s how I see myself when I tried
I hate how I’ve never been able to take notes. Writing (and even drawing) is the most difficult mentally and physically painful unpleasant thing for me to do. Attempting to take notes is dangerous because I can not hear/make sense of what someone is
I just vacuumed and shampooed my bedroom carpet. Hopefully that will get the stench of sweaty feet out of here.
Although its only 50 degrees (F) and I have my windows open and the attic fan on for airflow and the windchills gotta be like 38 degrees and its COLD
Both of my parents have aligned their sleep schedules with mine and its pissing me the fuck off because its super inconvenient and I developed this schedule to Avoid them and now it seems that whenever I go to use the bathroom to get ready to go somewhere
I’ve been in a lot of pain for the last couple of days. My knees have been really bad out my outer right thigh has been hurting and both my shoulders and my right side of my back. I went to the chiropractor today and my whole back is achy and my neck
I feel like shit and almost everything hurts. The tops of my ears my left forearm and my shins and toes do not hurt.
The other day I felt like shit (still a little sick now too) and was dizzy and I tripped going up the 2 steps in the garage into the house and fell into the closet door ripping it off the hinges (accordion door, ripped the pin right out splitting the
I was doing laundry and the furnace clicked on and I started smelling a weird smell like lighter fluid and it turned out that the inspection cover on the side of the burner was loose and swinging back and forth a little exposing the flame inside so I
seriously, im in so much pain all owver my body right now
anon853: seriously, im in so much pain all owver my body right now Im still wrecked, and “owver” is a good descripton
Random reminder that I am an adult that sleeps dressed like Ash Ketchum and also sleeps with a life sized Chespin plush
It’s a “Hilbert is a hot tall sexy dork” type morning
im still pretty sick but I got my engine block back. Now I need to get the rest of the parts to finish putting it together but im too sick to go digging for stuff :(
I was at my best friends house earlier putting up sheet rock with him and I filleted my middle finger and ring finger down the tip with a utility knife by accident. lots of blood.
Lately my dreams have been almost like side scrolling mario bros levels but In real life and as large abandoned houses that are on fire that I have to get through
Im trying to sleep but when I close my eyes I feel like I’m being transported to the middle of the woods after a heavy rain in the middle of the night and its foggy and damp and muggy and smells like wet trees and its very unpleasant
There she is. She’s the 7 thats been shoveling doorframes
anon853: There she is. She’s the 7 thats been shoveling doorframes what the ever loving fuck is this?
I didn’t even drink last night and also went to bed like 2 ½ hours before that post was made
Its 5:48am and ash is drunk and just relearned that eating an entire can of whipped cream and huffing the nitrous is AWESOME!
That was stupid of me to do. That’s going to burn when I start to sweat tomorrow.
Ive been really sick with extreme dizziness and hallucinations and mentally, the last 7 days didn’t exist, and three of those days I physically didn’t exist.
Just woke up from a good dream for a change! I dreamed I was a gym leader!
Its been a while since I had a computer project. I mean ignoring all the other long term stuff Ive been neglecting, I want something fairly easy and practical. I’m going to do a laptop build since I accidentally broke the screen on my (very old) laptop
the other day I was driving my 1970s “racecar” for the 2nd time after replacing the rear end after I blew it out. I was on my way home from work and realized I was flying past all the other cars on the highway and then realized I was doing 105mph.
I hate mornings. I hate the slimy way they feel, I hate the way they sound, I hate the way the brightness burns my eyes, I hate the way they smell, and i hate the way the way the shadows look. Being up early in the morning is like being on a hostile alien
I got my new laptop SSD and I’m currently cloning the old drive from the repaired laptop in target disk mode over FireWire to my other laptop running Carbon Copy Cloner with the destination SSD connected over USB 2.0, which sounds way more technical
I thought getting this project done and neatening things up a little would help me feel better but I’m still starting to hate myself again
