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(at work this week on two occasions summed up)“I’m doing the best I can.” “That may be, but sometimes your best isn’t good enough. Get it done on time” Asshole. Hes been getting all pissed at me because I don’t
been playing splinter cell trading back and forth with my best friend all night. When I came upstairs at one point to figure out a way to get past a hard section I grabbed my Ash Ketchum Jacket to see how long it took for him to notice and it took him
While I haven’t gotten out of bed yet, today seems to be a good day because I didn’t wake up with shitty thoughts about myself. Its almost always in the morning so I guess I dodged that today!
I guess I’ve been volunteered to help someone move out or something
Well that turned out to be a busy day. I helped a friends friend move and they were literally rednecks complete with all the beat up pickup trucks (I rode around in literally the dirtiest vehicle I’ve ever been in. The dashboard was so covered in
clumsyoctopus: life rules - you are never as awkward as you think you are- you are never as annoying as you think you are- you are never as boring as you think you are- your compliments are never as creepy as you think they are - you are way more wanted
My mom bought me a new floor fan to relpace this broken POS I currently have!!!!
I think its time to get into bed where its safe :(
Why now? I’ve actually had a good weekend and ave been soical and out of the house and driving a lot and have been ok. Why am I so worried all of a sudden about people?
Getting kinda tweaky and weird feeling. *puts down laptop and sobs into ash ketchum pillow*
I just feel really shitty rn
I just woke fucking crying. I’ve seen a lot f posts about people having nightmares an shit and had always been fairly lucky until now to barely even dream let alone have dreams like this last one that I can barely remember but I’m still really
I have no idea why but literally everything is confusing right now Like what is this glowing thing I;m staring at right now and what are these sparky neon green and purple spots floating infront of my eyes
I dont want to exist for a while.
So
I wonder why I feel more secure when I have my ash gloves on. Probably the same reason that I cant do anything other than showering without socks on. Not wearing socks makes me really uncomfortable. Not that I need to wear gloves all the time but its
Got all my errands done early today. Doing some more cleaning
I really like nice messages. Most of the time they don’t always get posted becuse I keep them in my inbox for reading later when Im upset/ I really want to thank you all that have ever send me a nice message ;u;
Its 5:25am and Its time for bed. I guess I had an ok day. I got out of bed around 3:30pm and got dressed, ate, and left for work. I ended up being ½ hour late because of an accident , and was really upset and stressed because I an normally on time.
Wow, my back is hurting really bad today :( the worst part is that I think I have to help m best friend lift the cab of a truck off the ground. Like litterally lift a truck. Like this By hand
So I was at my best friends house today and I was messing around in the garage and I I got hit in the face with a bicycle because I do stupid things
Also I sometimes like to pick up car mufflers and yell into them when I’m over there and I pointed one at him and yelled into it and a giant spider went shooting out and landed on my friend!!! He was not happy.
Not a good day :(
I remember reading a post on a website a couple years ago where someone had quit their job working for an aircraft maintenance company and mentioning that they were disgruntled and that they had one of their tools missing and thought they might have left
When you get mad enough, sometimes you just don’t care about other peoples safety.
I wish I were good enough.
I also think its notable that I was out of bed at 1130am and I’m putting away my laundry instead of leaving it in the basket
Just got back from shopping. I have energy to do stuff but it rained a couple hours ago so I can’t mow the lawn or do yard work because everything is soaking wet :(
Time to go be a failure again.
I hurt my leg at work. I smashed it into a metal cart really hard because I was rushing.I smashed it just above my ankle on the side and its swollen and really bothering me.
Ugh, I feel sick :(
I had a bad night at work So I started drinking heavy right when I got home. However I got a random phonecall like 10 minutes after I got home and talked about computers for an hour. It put me behind on on my dash but I got though it and I’m looping
My mouth still hasn’t healed from getting hit in the face with a bicycle last weekend. I still have a nasty and painful sore inside my lower lip :(
And when I say hit in the face with a bicycle, I literally mean that a bicycle fell on my face out of the rafters of my friends garage because I was being stupid and trying to balance it in the air with the handlebars. I then lost the balance and the
It really sucks wwhen you suddenly want to hide from everything and everyone but theres no one around and there isn’t anywhere else that would be any further away from things and going anywhere else would make things worse. *Hides under blankets*
So, I didn’t post anything for 4 days because I was scared of everyone for some stupid reason. I now have a drafts folder filled with everything I would have posted, and as a warning I just want to say I will be just dumping it all at once to be
And thats the like on that post
Just got home. Had the first good night at work in weeks. Got out early enough to go to the bar. I figured it would be nice and quiet. I got there and I found they were running a special. I bought a nice glass and it was ũ to fill it all night. I only
Whats suddenly hilarious all of a sudden is I got a random call on my cell phone and it was a shipper from work about a package because a driver left my number behind by accident. I’m glad I was awake and coherent for it because I’m normally
So this weekend I will be home alone without adult supervision. While I am an adult in age, I certainly am not in terms of maturity and no one seems to be around/already has plans. I have no idea what to do!!! Well, off to work. Gonna chug a 20oz red
So, I had a shitty night at work and I almost cried on the way home but I didn;t and now I’m drining and cleaning the house because no ones here and its one of the few things that calms me down and its great that no one iz home.
So the house it pretty clean and I’m going out to take a walk down the street with a beer and smoke a cigarette. I really need it. The cigarette I mean. Then I’m going to take a nice long shower, and after that I’m going to start cooking
I mean I’ve felt like absolute garbage because of work lately. I just cant get shit right and tonigt I find out that one person is on vacation and another is coing in late and isn’t going to be able to help when they do come in and I’m
so Im 40 minutes behind. I havent been out yet. I found a faverite stiuffed animal when I was a kid whle I was cleaning and I was vacuumining it and it smeled a bit and Im drunk and I tried to grab the fabreezee sbut I accidentally sprayed bleach on it
guess whos awake despite drinking heavily and going to bed at 6am! Guess who was hoping to sleep until 6pm! Guess who can feel their achy legs and the tops of their feet over the ankles are really sore and a little swollen from running miles in boots?
Feeling a bit sad and useless rn and I’m not really sure why because I had an okay day :(
I’m going to go and try not to exist for a while. Not a good night :(
This isn’t good… headache,palpitations and dizziness out of nowhere..
Geez, I really am a useless piece of shit.
Jusst hat to say this is the firtst good night at work ive had in months!!!
I just remembered something really random: When I was in a residential program, I was literally left in a burning building. I was in the shower, and someone banged on the door a couple times and was yelling stuff but I couldn’t hear it over the
*Cries for no reason*
A lot of times I want to talk to people or comment on things, but I feel I’m not allowed to/stop myself from doing it because I say stupid things and it upsets people because I don’t know when to shut up and I find its just better I I just
WHy am I such a useless piece of shit? (smashes head on keyboard) m m, h
Memories of swinging on a tire swing at a friends house and the rope snapped and I fell on the ground and got the wind knocked out of me. And another time having a rock thrown at my head at the same friends house and just being told by their dad to go
I fucking hate nights like this. I’m fucking 26, but in my head I’m just a shitty little child that can barely do anything right. It sucks that I’m just a shitty little child IRL too though. Some mornings its like a punch in the face
While I’m thinking about stuff, A lot of times I think about just ignoring/blocking all my followers so they wouldn’t have to see my shit on their dashes. Not that any of them would notice. The only thing thats keeping me from just deleting
I don’t even know why I have followers in the first place. I’ve actually done what I could to try to stay under the radar and not post things into tags and try not to post things that might get tons of notes or otherwise attract attention.
On Sunday I was surprised by a visit from an old staff member from a program I was in about 16 years ago. He was always nice and we had kept in touch and he would come and visit once in a while. I hadn’t seen him in about 3 ½ years and we
I really don’t like myself all that much.
