markers
NSFW Tumblr
find markers on porn pin board
markers clips
Today is the first time in months that I can genuinely say I had a good day.
My mind has been like a sieve lately. I cant focus on things, even things I want to do and its so frustrating. I’m having trouble driving and I’ve been backing into things. Lots of things. Its like my vision/ depth perception has gone off or something.
I remember in first grade in the playground at school there was this really cool tire sculpture made out of old tractor tires that had tunnels you could run through and stuff and there were tires stacked on top to let light in and I remember I used to
IM SO HAPPY *drains out of chair into a pile of goo on the floor*
*shovels habanero potato chips into mouth to increase high from not being in pain*
I love my new Pokemon hoodie. I’ve been wearing it all week including to work. It’s so comfy and it makes me feel really safe.
I remember when I was really young (like 5 or 6)I was writing a letter and trying to spell the word “of”, and I couldn’t spell it and I think I wrote it as “ove” and “ov” and was so embarrassed when I had to ask
I think I’m going to just think of myself as defective as it is far worse and fare more descriptive than words like “stupid”, “idiot”, or “dumb”.
When you’re trying to go to sleep but every time you close your eyes to relax it feels like you’re spinning/floating slowly in a circle. This hasn’t happened in a very long time. It’s the first time in at least 10 years.
today was long as fuck but im home and i got my DOT medical card!!!!
and now its time for a random story: on time I was moving trailers around at work and the 5th wheel (the round thing a trailer attaches to on a tractor trailer truck) jaws were not working. I was moving a 16 thousand lb fully loaded trailer floating
you know whats strange? when you’ve been in pain for so long that the lack of it is uncomfortable. My side moved again for the first time in about 8 or 9 months at the chiropractor and it feels really weird and I kinda don’t like it. Its like
Whe I was younger and trying to make friends no one wanted to be around me because of the swarm of mosquitoes around me constantly. They would say things like “ugh, who brought all the bugs over?” then tell me to go away.
Busy day I was at my aunts all day from around noon and left my house a little after 11am and I helped her do some cleaning and bringing up boxes of decorations and putting away an air conditioner and fixing her snowblower and then got home around 830PM
I wish I had more local friends. 1 doesn’t really cut it. then again having more would be too overwhelming and is the reason I only have 1 to begin with because I just can’t handle it. Talking online is almost too much as it is and I’ve only briefly
You know what else sucks? Seeing people bashing people for things that I also have major issues with like it’s one of the reasons that they’re a horrible person and people shouldn’t be friends with them. It’s one thing to not like someone
I wonder if people only are “friends” with me because they feel sorry for me. I’m just not worth anything or any fun so maybe it’s just pity?
I got a major cramp in my right leg (the one thats been wrecked all day) that lasted for almost 15 minutes and I spilled Jack Daniels all over my bed. Great endnding to a great fucking day,.
It really sucks when you literally feel guilty that people like and appreciate you when you don’t do anything for them. I thought knowing that people care is supposed to be a positive feeling not a negative one? I’m literally upset right now
My belt tore out of the buckle earlier when I was changing for work and I got upset and screamed and cursed and threw it at the wall and its trash night and I was going to throw it out but I was able to fix it with a razor blade and a screwdriver. I cut
my best friend leaves tomorrow to start a new job and I wont see him for a while because hes going 2000 miles away for it.
I hate when everything stops existing around me for a moment and I don’t know where I am.
guestuser341: guestuser341: fight the system
There sure are some very strange sensory things that make me feel safe when I’m upset
Whenever someone has expressed dislike for something I like, I will always see myself as as a bad person for liking it.
I also just heard from my best friend that they won’t hire him because of the medications he takes and it’s a law in that state and they weren’t allowed to tell him that before he went. He spent his last paycheck to get down there his car is going
had some weird dreams last night but they were too personal to post about. Still have a bad headache and my back is on fire. and now up up way too early
13.5 hours in bed. Maybe I should get up and actually do something with my vacation this week instead of sleeping it away like I did back in June?
IDK wtf is wrong with me. THis will be the 2nd time in a week and in 10 years im going to bed before midnight due to exhaustion. Im usially p to like 3 or 4 am but not tonight. unless I cant sleep or only sllep for a couple hours, Im just so dizzy ad
woke up and couldn’t slepp and after 15 minutes of digging around in the cabinet i found severe cold and flu relief cough syrup. It was the only thing with a decongestant so i took it. not that this is severe, it’s just really fucking annoying that
My room is one hell of a mess considering It was spotless on thursday, and I havent even been home since friday, and thats not even counting my suitcase and bags.
Long day at work. Not done yet. Taking a break then pushing to finish stuff off afterward.
FUCK EVERYTHING MY FUCKING VACATION WAS NOT FUCKING LONG ENGOUHGH,NASGUIOSDAJ
I still think its really fucked up that I left for work at 4PM and didnt get home until 1 fucking am. I should have been and was planning to be out by around 10 pm or just after but nooo shithead coworkers cand be assed to tell me that theyre on vaction
This week sucked. I did not need all the shit I had to do at work. It is incredibly draining to travel for hours to see friends and all I needed was one day to recover but instead I got 5 days of nonstop hell. I’m not even sure if last week actually
It seems the more I try to look at myself objectively, is the more I see the negative aspects, and those far outweigh the positives, and the positives are negated by the fact that people make me anxious so it’s not even possible to share the positive
I barely even want to try to talk to people here as it seem that when I try sending things to people that I think they’ll like or tagging people in stuff or even giving out information that is asked for I hardly ever get a response. I’ve done tests
I went to the chiropractor today and there’s a new person that’s just been hired as a replacement to the creepy one that’s been missing for weeks and they’re nice but they seem to over hype my injuries. Yeah they hurt. Sometimes a fuckton. But
I outran blue and red flashing lights earlier this week. It was a rush and it was just a thought out of no where to just go for it cause I would have been totally fucked if caught. they were on the other side of the road and had to go up to turn around
Looking back at everything I’ve wanted to be there’s always been one thing that’s important to know that I was never able to fully understand how to do that’s crucial to the job in every case(such as being good with and even certified to work
I blame this one program from back when I was 9 that I was in for the fact that I’m useless. I was pretty much the only person in my class that wanted to learn anything and was constantly trying to get work at my level at the time. It got to the point
it seems the more I find out about myself, the worse and alienated I feel. The worst part is that therapy would make things worse. I’ve had horrible therapists in programs that did horrendous damaging things including the destruction of items that
Ive been incredibly busy with work and have been so tired and I was downstairs talking to my mom and then I said I needed to leave and for some reason started walking bacwards in a circle in the middle of the living room sayong whoa whoa whoa because
More recently I’ve been having issues with controlling some movements such as hand flapping. It took so long to get to the point that I could control/hide it but I’m losing that control again and it’s embarrassing and I’m worried it’s gonna
Ive noticed a gradual IDK almost maybe phasing into remembering my days at work since the evil boss lost his job, and overall my memory seems to have improved. However, I still cringe and wonder what I did wrong as reflex when someone says they need
You know what type of people suck? Homophobic people that try to use someones sexual orientation as a reason they’re a shitty person, and then judge others the same way. a couple months ago I saw a friend I hadn’t seen in almost 2 years. He
I hate when Im at work and I suddenly forget where I am and what Im doing and why Im there and I just panic for a couple minutes and it sucks
doing some cleaning. I just took a 2011 calendar off the wall. I figured it was time.
I’ve been working 6 days a week, been having violent nightmares that I’m so shook up over I can’t document them and they fade out before the fear goes away so I still can’t document them, and I’m so tired. I’m still doing better than last
I’m not addicted to cigarettes. Well, not in the sense of withdrawal when I don’t smoke for a few days. What makes me keep smoking is to keep the “benefits” of quitting away. Such as hypersensitivity to tastes, smells, and touch. Smoking seems
I should have been in bed like 2-3 hours ago because Im traveling tomorrow and I need to finish packing because ive been kinda just half assing this week and I didn’t really get everything I needed to done and have been a slug. I’m going up
Ive been feeling kinda weird again the past couple of hours. Kinda like the top half of me is floating above and off to the side of my legs.
I remember a post on a now defunct website I read back from maybe 2007-08 that a guy who was an airline mechanic (verified) made a post that he had been laid off and it was his last day on the job and he had just finished putting a turbine engine back
I have a dentist appointment and my stomach is hurting :(
Dentist went well and I had time to do stuff around the house before work. Stomach is still a little off though.
I fucking hate myself.
I have the scuzzy buzz of an panic attack but without the freak out part.
nevermind heres the anxiety
Its funny that Ive had a lot of time off from work recently (not really, but time off that’s not expected seems to be longer) but it hasnt really been restful and while I haven’t been completely ok, at least Ive been kind of productive. just
Sometimes I wish people would check on me because literally no one does. There’s like maybe 2 people that might even care but that could just be my imagination.
