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“I would share my ‘herbal soothers’ with you.”
“I heard you want the D… and I’m not talking about deductions.”
“Forget the crime scene… The only body I want to be checking out is yours.”
“When I said I’d get you off, I wasn’t just talking about the murder charge.”
“I.O.U. a fall… into my bed.”
“If you were my drug, I wouldn’t need a case to justify doing you.”
“You don’t need Connie Prince. You’re already the most beautiful thing in the world.”
“I’d let a strange woman abduct me as long as she was taking me to you.”
“Makeover queen? No, I’m the makeout queen.”
“My love for you is bigger than Henry Knight’s house.”
“I love you more than Carl Powers loved his shoes.”
“Don’t hate the dragon slayer. Hate the game.”
“You smell cleaner than Kenny Prince’s cat.”
“Being without you hurts worse than reading Alone On the Water.” [ LiveJournal / FanFiction.net / AO3 ]
“Is your meat dagger on Twitter? Because I’d like to get that on text alert.”
“I fell for you harder than Rupert Graves in the gag reel.”
“You make me wetter than a fireplace that’s just met Magnussen.”
“If you think the wait in between seasons is long, just wait until you see my dick.”
“Wanna see my secret tattoo?”
“My love for you burns like the A.G.R.A. flash drive.”
“It’s a bit rude that noise, isn’t it? Not that that’ll stop me from coaxing it out of you.”
“May the problems of your future be my privilege?”
“The thought of being without you scares me more than a Baskerville Hound.”
“I would punch the chief superintendent just because he called you a weirdo.”
“You make me blush so much, my face is the same color as Jennifer Wilson’s wardrobe.”
“I wish I was Irene’s phone just so I could get into your cleavage.”
“Are you frequenting cafes? Because you are smoking.”
“Are you Mr. Summerson? Because I’d like to fondle your testicles.”
“If you be my goldfish, I promise to keep you plenty wet.”
“My text alert isn’t the only way you can hear me orgasm.”
“Why don’t you play Operation with me instead? You’ll never have to handle a broken heart.”
“You’re hotter than The Dynamics of Combustion.”
“Lestrade? More like Lust-rade.”
“Which hurt more: When you fell from Bart’s or when you fell from Heaven?”
“Let’s multiply like Bluebell.”
“Forget Andrew West’s missile plans… The real missile is the one in my pants.”
“I bet I can make you thirstier than Greg alone at a wedding.”
“You don’t need to be Kate Middleton for me to treat you like royalty.”
“What’s your star sign? I don’t know mine because I deleted the solar system.”
“I hope our relationship lasts longer than John’s mustache.”
“Is recreational scolding your division?”
“You don’t have to show me beheadings to get a hug from me.”
“Lestrade will find his division before I find someone better than you.”
“I may not be Uncle Rudy, but I’ll cross-dress for you if that’s what you’re into.”
“I know your friends don’t all hate you. I only wrote that essay so I could have you all to myself.”
“I’m not just a soldier, doctor, and blogger… I’m also a lover.”
“I would date a sociopath just to make you wonder if it was serious.”
“You are a man, and good at it… but I think you’d be even better at being my man.”
“I want to be your boyfriend more than Sherlock wanted to be a pirate.”
“Let’s get on your laptop and look at something other than John’s blog.”
“May I twist and diffuse your hair?”
“Are you Mary Morstan? Because those pants look so good on you, you’re putting the ass in assassin… twice.”
“I’m not a dragon for you to slay… I’m a dragon for you to lay.”
“Why have a goldfish when you can have a silver fox?”
“My mind palace can’t even contain how much I think about you.”
“Because you know I’m all about that case, ‘bout that case.”
“You’ve seen what these fingernails can do to a wood floor… Would you like me to leave some claw marks on your back?”
“I would take off my clothes for you even if it was going to kill me.”
“I’d love your mind even if it wasn’t a palace.”
“We should go clubbing together. And I don’t mean going to the Diogenes Club.”