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“Stabbing isn’t the only thing I’d like to do to you in the shower.”
“Your smile shines brighter than an inexplicable matchbox.”
“I don’t mind if you’re on your period… We’ll just call it an Urban Bloodlust Frenzy.”
“Chicks dig scars, eh? Well, just call me Major Sholto.”
“Wanna go on a sex holiday with me?”
“Do you want to see some More-iarty of me?”
“You make me more speechless than John asking me to be his best man.”
“I’d rather look at you than Sherlock’s crime scene photos.”
“theimprobableone will use capital letters before I stop loving you.”
“Are you a fire extinguisher? Because I want to dance and break into the crown jewels with you.”
“I’ll walk your dog… Even if you don’t have one.”
“I’m like Anderson’s beard… I’ll grow on you.”
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“Wanna go have a drink on every street where we found a corpse?”
“If you think Sherlock’s a freak, just wait until you see me in the bedroom.”
“The game is on… Will you play with me?”
“If you left me, I’d do anything to get you Reichen-back.”
“If you’re Henry Knight, can I be your Henry Steed?”
“You make me more out of breath than Mycroft on a treadmill.”
“You should come home with me instead. Your wife is AGRA-vating.”
“My last name may be Small, but my dick is huge.”
“I’d help you hunt down a hound even if I was on holiday.”
“When you called me ‘nurse,’ were you really just making do, or were you trying to roleplay?”
“Are you one of John’s jumpers? Because you look so cozy and unique.”
“I’ve fallen for you more times than that American has fallen out of your window.”
“Will you be the Robin to my Hat-Man?”
“I calculate that there are thirteen possibilities once I invite you into my bedroom.”
“Dieting is for Mycroft. Come on, you know you want a taste of me.”
“I guess people can stop calling me The Ice Man, because you’ve melted my heart.”
“Are you a train car in Sumatra? Because you are the bomb.”
“If I had only a minute and twenty-nine seconds left to live, I’d want to spend that time with you.”
“I’d love to get mail from you, even if it was just an envelope full of bread crumbs.”
“Are you Greg Lestrade? Because you look like a DI… A Dishy Individual.”
“I want to have more meetings with you than Magnussen had with the prime minister.”
“I would spend the night at your place even if it was a scuzz dump.”
“Without you, my heart is like the coin that Mary shot… There’s an empty hole in it.”
“I want you Anderneath me.”
“Can I touch your Belstaff?”
“I would turn back your watch during your friend’s fake suicide just to spend more time with you.”
“Without you, my heart is as broken as Mrs. Hudson’s hip.”
“Forget mind palaces… Wanna see my mind sex dungeon?”
“Being without you is worse than going to a matinee of Les Mis with my parents.”
“I want you wrapped around me more tightly than my purple shirt.”
“Why don’t you go ‘right the way down’ on me?”
“I’d let you stay in my bedroom even if you didn’t need the space.”
“I’m a fan of yours– type B, that is.”
“I would love you even if you made post-mortem jokes about my hip.”
“You put the ‘bae’ in Baker Street.”
“My anaconda don’t want none unless you got guns, hun.”
“You’re the boomerang to my hiker… Throwing you away would kill me.”
“I would solve a skip code and steal a motorcycle for you.”
“Redbeard isn’t the only one I’d like to be petting.”
“I would love you even if you canonically did not exist yet.”
“I see you frequent Speedy’s Cafe… You must like some Sherlock inside of you.” (For those who don’t know, this is a reference to the fact that Speedy’s sells a “Sherlock Wrap” in real life.)
“I bet you can make me scream… and I don’t mean like Claudette Bruhl.”
“I think about Redbeard when I want to calm down, but I think about you when I want to get excited.”
“I only have earbuds for you.”
“You can imagine the Christmas dinners, but I’d much rather you be there to experience them yourself.”
