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“You may have made my arm squishy, but you’ve made something else of mine rock hard.”
“I don’t think we should wear hats… unless you mean the other kind of hat.”
“Forget Appledore… Make me your Applewhore.”
“Let’s do a procedure where the participants tend to know each other and it’s over when one of them’s dead… No, I’m not talking about murder.”
“I don’t just do it doggy style– I do it Redbeard style.”
“Even if you told me that the Western world is run from a single house, I’d still want to talk about dinner.”
“I bet I can make you come in less the time Sherlock’s exile took.”
“Girl, are your initials A.G.R.A.? Because you are Amazing, Gorgeous, Radiant, and Adorable.”
“The game is never over. I want to play with you forever.”
“I bet wearing Claire-de-la-Lune and being blackmailed by Magnussen isn’t all we have in common.”
“Are you London? Because I want to get to know you and breathe in every quiver of your beating heart.”
“You make me Claire-de-la-Swoon.”
“I need condoms so big, people call me Charles Augustus Magnum-sen.”
“Appearing in my mind palace while I’m unconscious? I believe that makes you the man of my dreams.”
“Knowing is owning, but that’s not why I want to get to know you.”
“I could never bear to argue with you, even if I wasn’t something of a moron.”
“Those things’ll kill you… I know what you should put in your mouth instead.”
“The whole world is wet to my touch, and it’s not because of my sweating condition.”
“My penis is a dagger– a scalpel wielded with precision and without remorse.”
“Becoming a figment of my mind palace isn’t the only way to get inside of me.”
“Not sure about having chemistry with me? Don’t worry, I’m an excellent chemist.”
“Us meeting couldn’t be coincidence. The universe is rarely so lazy.”
“I would never put the doorbell in the fridge if you were the one ringing it.”
“Without you, I get so bored that I start shooting walls.”
“My mouth is big enough for fourteen cigarettes. Wanna see what else can fit in it?”
“Let’s have quite a lot of sex.”
“Wanna see my Sher-cock?”
“I would jump out of a cake for you even if I wasn’t revealing that I faked my death.”
“People like you deserve to be kissed. That’s why there are people like me.”
“I love you more than Sherlock loves dancing.”
“I still love you even though your mustache doesn’t rub off.”
“Let’s throw a dummy off a roof, fake our deaths, and make out.”
“The Headless Nun was only headless because she hadn’t met me… I’m excellent at giving head.”
“I would let you call me Sherl.”
“The game is something, but you are everything.”
“I know you’re not some character from Lord of the Rings, because I honestly care what you think.”
“My friendship isn’t the only thing that can give you warmth and constancy.”
“My love for you is #NotDead.” (Credit to shockingblankets for the hashtag, which LATER BECAME CANON.)
“If I was looking for a friend in a drug den, I wouldn’t just be browsing– I’d be looking for you.”
“I’m not very good at expressing my feelings, so please understand what I mean when I say that my name is actually a girl’s name.”
“You give me life, and not just because Lazarus is go.”
“I would never tell you to f-cough.”
“I would propose to you even if I didn’t need to break into your boss’s office.”
“If you got away from me, I’d be so upset, I’d start kicking a tire.”
“Are you Helen Louise? Because I’m going to make you lose your mind.”
“I would disguise myself as a French waiter to stop you from proposing to someone else.”
“Is there a ball under my armpit, or did you just make my heart stop?”
“I would let you call me Myc.”
“You always feel love, but you don’t have to fear it.”
“When I asked if you came for me, I didn’t just mean to the drug den.”
“Baby got #221back.”
“John Watson? More like John Hot-son.”
“Let’s have a relationship that’s in a good place and very affirming.”
“I’ll be your goldfish if you’ll be my division.”
“We think you’re smoking, and that’s not just because we pulled you out of a bonfire.”
“I’m going to write you a love letter… I don’t have to prove it; I just have to print it.”
“I don’t need Anderson’s Reichenbach theory to show you how hypnotizing I can be.”
“Solving crimes isn’t the only thing I have a vacancy for.”
“I want to Lestraddle you.”
“I think you’re 221-beautiful.”
