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“Can I buy you a drink? 443.7 milliliters of drink, that is.”

“You don’t need to hide a blade in my belt in order to penetrate me.”

“The ‘elephant in the room’ is my penis.”

“Without you, my heart feels hollower than Jack Griffin’s suit.”

“Sherlock and Moriarty aren’t the only ones I have a theory about.”

“I don’t care how you fell in love with me… I want to know why.”

“You don’t need your mind palace to know my porn preference.”

“I’m a high-functioning sociopath… Can I be a high-functioning sociopath with your number?”

“My left hat bobble isn’t the only thing I’d like to chew on.”

“Forget the egg chair… You should sitty thing on my face.”

“Call me Shezza, because I’m going undercover… Under your covers, that is.”

“I’d let you make me wear the hat.”

“Call me Redbeard, because I like it ruff.”

“I want to do you on the tableâ€¦ On the Periodic Table hanging in your bedroom, that is.”

“I was so scared of you leaving me that I started doing napkin origami.”

“If I was Madonna, would you let me touch your knee?”

“I would come back from the dead and hijack a bunch of TVs just because you missed me.”

“I’d like to get to know you as well as I know ash.”

“My love for you exceeds the amount of laptops Sherlock has.”

“I’d like to compromise the integrity of your ‘crime scene.’”

“Am I horny too? I haven’t checked.”

“How about you get off that treadmill and come be my date to the Watson wedding?”

“You make me uncomprehending in the face of myself.”

“You taste better than eyeball coffee.”

“You don’t need to use your mind palace to see me in a straight jacket.”

“I’d like to ‘project’ my face onto your 'building.’”

“I love you for your brain, and I’m not referring to Helen Louise.”

“An east wind isn’t the only thing that’s coming.”

“Let’s go bar hopping for a couple hours and then cuddle on the stairs.”

“Can I whisper how much I love you? NOT REALLY!”

“I learned Serbian in a couple hours. Want to see how quickly I can get to know your tongue?”

“Are you 051113? Because you just blew me away.”

“I’m sorry I came back from the dead with a French accent. Next time I tell you big news I’ll give you something else French.”

“Stop kicking that tire… I know a better way to get your frustration out.”

“The things we’d like to do to you… I have a list. Mycroft has a file.”

“I promise not to be a Mayfly Man with you.”

“When I said ‘I’m just going to whip this out,’ I didn’t mean my detective equipment.” (Inspired by this post.)

“Let’s be Oklahomos together.” (If you haven’t seen it yet…)

“The lack of a ring when you slapped me isn’t the only reason I’m glad your engagement’s over.”

“A tire lever isn’t the only thing in my pants that’s a tiny bit sexy.”

“Forget the limits– let’s all three dance.”

“The door knocker isn’t the only thing I won’t let my brother turn straight.”

“I’d like to corrupt your ‘magnetic strip.’”

“Forget solving crimes– I could use you as an alternative to getting high.”

“Don’t worry, I’m no London ambulance. I take longer than eight minutes to come.”

“Call me the Clarence House Cannibal, because I’d like a taste of you.”

“The shooting last week isn’t the only reason you may have to restart my heart.”

“You be the potatoes and I’ll be Mycroft’s laptop… Get on top of me.”

“Forget folding my shirts and cycling to work– I’d rather wear no clothes and ride you.”

“Flicking isn’t the only thing I’d like to do to your face.”

“I’d love you even if you only befriended me to get to my blackmailing boss.”

“You don’t need to YouTube to see my exotic dancing.”

“I’d keep your chair even if it was blocking my view to the kitchen.”

“Undercover about my feelings for you? WELL I’M NOT NOW!”

“Are you the East Wind? Because I’d let you take me in the end… in the rear end, that is.”

“Are you a complete flake who happens to be a genius? Because you are unbelievably hot!”

“I’ve got some pictures for you as a treat… And I’m not talking about the ones I showed Archie.”

“I’d let you catch me in a compromising position… and I’m not talking about being on the treadmill.”

“My cock is good for more than just peeing in fireplaces.”

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