personal myself
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HonestlyI really don’t understand why I’m so supportive to other trans people trying to nudge them in good empowering direction in their life.When all I want myself is death knowing life isn’t worth the energy of breathing.
More and more I think there should be a way to simply put the need of trust and confidence in a relation to another. To open for a possibility for friendship. A context to put d/s dynamics in motion. I hate myself and how there is nothing I can do help
What if I were more like average height and weight… just how many cute lace bodys for no one but myself to see I could have had. Oh well.
I wish I could convince myself Im valid and that this body is okay.
How I’m I supposed to survive myself? How will I ever manage to learn how to push my feelings and thoughts aside? The sooner I’m gone, the sooner there can be a new chance in life. I just don’t understand why there is no way can tell
Finding myself turning page or switch channel as soon something turn intimate between characters. Really proud of how good I can handle the emptiness
Switch me: *having sexual desires or thoughts*Also me: Just shut up. Both of you know I need to kill myself first.
amaranthdesires:Some parts of my mind is just done with this life. I really doubt I’ll manage to get much older. I hate everything about myself and how there really isn’t anything that can be done to make life worth living. I hate how I want
I can’t keep on destroying myself trying to practice shibari. Im giving this dream up. I’ll never be good enough for anyone to trust me to try. I’m really not naive enough to keep on searching.
Convince me that it isn’t positive to kill myself and have a chance at life as a functioning and valid cis-woman.
Sometimes I just don’t know what to do with myself and what to do with this body I reside in. I know this body is ugly and disgusting and probably that’s fair and maybe it can be fixed. The real issue is it’s not my body. It just makes
I just want to know what its like to feel something positive about myself
At least telling yourself go to work plugged makes one consider every day life thingys in different ways. Maybe best way of taking focus away from slowly destroying myself with anxiety and other useless feelings. I don’t even know why I like putting
Trying to tell myself a girl could be fond of me is really not working :’(
Something about feeling validI catched a glimpse of this face and cried. Two hours in vain trying to tell myself I’m worth something, that this body is worth something. It’s not. I’m not. So I went to bed stared into the wall as my
Trying to tell myself there’s something good about male anatomy. It only leads to more pain 🤷
That kind of morning when I’m one hour late for work because I’m so ugly and male looking I triggd myself more than enough to have a panic attack.
This day really had failure written all over it in the calendar. At least I didn’t cry once at work and held myself together really nice until someone say down Infront of me on the train. Then it was unstoppable. I hate being like this. Hate being
Yes I know it is the purest form of stupidity to value myself on no other factor than the ability to conceive. It’s stupid and it is wrong. I should be able to accept. Let’s just go to bed and skip rest of this day.
It is my birthday today. Sometimes I think about what it would be like it would have been something that I associate with something positive. It is thoughts that lead nowhere. More than anything else I always find myself with the same thought, to be free
if a decade and a half of therapy haven’t helped me accept myself as trans will anything actually help?:/
I want to be able to see myself in a mirror. I can’t live this life
Maybe if I could feel basic trust in myself, if I could feel secure in my own body.. life could have been something positive :/ with this anatomy, this body and these facial features tho.. no :,( what if I didn’t had a male body :,(
I believe what hurts me the most is that no matter what I do or think, no matter what treatments or surgeries I manage to deserve, I’ll never be cis. There’s nothing I can do to help myself to a valid and joyful life, that hurts and have no
I need to disappear. I need to stop existing. There’s nothing in this world for me. I need a life were dreams can be fulfilled, a life were I could hear my own voice, see my own body. I don’t want to torture myself for decades for no reason
Sometimes it’s like I try make myself believe existence would have been easier if I could spend my days doing something I like. If I could have any of this jobs I would have enjoyed. If I would have had hobbies or interests in things that I could
I believe what hurts me the most is that no matter what I do or think, no matter what treatments or surgeries I manage to deserve, I’ll never be cis. There’s nothing I can do to help myself to a equally valid and joyful life, that hurts and
How will I ever manage to learn how to push my feelings and thoughts aside? The sooner I’m gone, the sooner there can be a new chance in life. I just don’t understand why there is no way can tell myself that this is good, that this body is
No matter how hard I try to focus between the rears theres a man in front of the mirror. I don’t want to constantly feel like a lier trying to stand up for myself.
I would do anything to wake up one day without depression or anxiety and those nice suicidal tendencies and dark daydreams. I really being myself.
Being myself have destroyed my life so extraordinary well. Nice to know. Thanks for being me I guess.
Its unnecessary and pathetic but I wish I existed a reality were I could rock a plain tee, jeans and nicks boots kind of ootd and not be seen as man. But I can’t blame them for seeing the same body as I seeing myself in a mirror.
Trying to date is such a good fuel for doubt and self hate.. constantly failing haven’t really been great in how to approach people and be somewhat open about myself. I don’t understand how it can be like this. The whole idea finding someone
I don’t understand why it’s so hard to be kind to myself :(
The only way to feel the slightest bit of positive in life is by not having dreams, ambitions or standards. But it is ok I guess it’s just how life works.Best part is I’m not even being hard on myself.
Apparently tryd burning down my apartment by leaving the stove on. Well done. Better be proud of myself.
Finally managed to get myself together enough to approach most of those in my region who are active on the main platforms for kink people. We’ll se where that ends. No-one haven’t bothered to reply but I try see it for what it is. I try to
Sometimes I wish that at least I could trust myself. But it’ll probably never be possible
I find it really hard to acknowledge to myself and be honest about it. but it’s so incredibly hard for me seeing women who are to good looking. Misinterpret me the right way. Thinking about the normative model looking. Those who make people turn
I’m not going to say that at times I lay in bed with tears slowly running down my cheeks. Not understanding what to do with myself and just longing to belong to someone to be someones good girl. But that happens more times than I’ll admit.
Sometimes I get so mad at myself for being switch and not coping with it better. I have two fantastic sub’s who I love and will always hold close and support. At the same time I’m carrying a dark empty hole. The desire to belong, to submit
One of my biggest goals is to get this body more shapely so I can treat myself with a latex catsuit after winter.. buy it for me and I’ll let you choose.
Since I can’t go visit my family over the weekends (oh no 🥳🥳) I might have spent a lot more money than I probably should have buying cute latex clothing and actually nice things for myself. 2020 keeps on being the best year so far
What if I end up spending the holidays in my armchair. Reading with my legs over one of the armrests plugged and only dressed in lace lingerie. Treating myself with some good wine and whisky.
Even if I could make myself have orgasms I would not deserve having any.
It’s so fantastically unnecessary to try date as a autistic and lesbian trans woman and it makes me so sad. like why do I even try when it only harm me and makes me hate myself even more
Sometimes I think about how fulfilling existence would be if I had a little homestead or a cottage. then I cry myself to sleep and trying not to feel or think ever again :)
Needing people around and intimacy of all sorts and conversations and quietness and stuff is just the worst? like why? It’s only hurting myself to a very very unnecessary and frankly scary degree?
amaranthdesires:So the dream house in my village is for sale. If I wouldn’t have been naive and tried to follow what used to be my dreams for so many years I could have had enough money to buy it cash. I really love myself and my life it’s
I don’t understand how it can be so hard for me to believe that there are people out there for anyone. I really only feel like Im lying to myself when I try reason too. Sure all of it is likely a matter of interaction and understanding how to best
I am strong, I am good, I am kindI want only good things in my mindI love my friends and they love meBeing thankful sets me freeI am creative, I am true and also a great cookLoving myself is my best lookI am grateful for my life and for my soulBeing proud
I am strong, I am good, I am kindI want only good things in my mindI love my friends and they love meBeing thankful sets me freeI am creative, I am trueLoving myself is my best lookI am grateful for my life and for my soulBeing proud of who I am is my
I am strong, I am good, I am kind. I want only good things in my mind. I love my friends and they love me. Being thankful sets me free. I am creative, I am true and also a great cook. Loving myself is my best look. I am grateful for my life and for my
I would be to shy and anxious and blank minded to speak sensibly if I were to meet woman. But like it good to show vulnerability right? 👉👈 Let’s just say I wouldn’t date myself 😔
I do like an empty restaurant. I’ll never get used to the feeling of going out alone tho :( but I know I need to treat myself sometimes
seriously just brush against my tits and i’ll cum i could probably THINK myself off today i’m so horny ~
i’m too much of a lil bitch to ever smoke cigs but whenever someone does they become 10000000000000000% more attractive to me. its literally cancer. what a stupid fetish i wanna punch myself.
Been home alone for the past few days, waking up by myself making tea, smoking and meditating in peace and quiet is so soothing.Â
I fucking hate myself.
My body is so fucking disgusting jfc I hate myself
