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Wake up early with moderate energy 1 1/2 hours early. Be productive? No, think about what a piece of shit you are and wrap yourself in blankets and cry into ash ketchum pillows until its time to get up.
Ugh now im geting sensitive and a litle emotional again.
Its great when you remember something seemingly harmless abut say a program you used to be in, but then the fun really starts when you remember how you were treated there.
I hate the holidays. I don’t like to celebrate anything really. What I hate is having to be social when I’d rather be in bed. I hate things like July 4th and new years because no one cares enough to invite me to things beforehand and when
I’m the person that everyone is uncomfortable around so they avoid me. Hell, sometimes I want to say something nice but I don’t because no matter what I have to say is automatically invalidated because it came from me, and sometimes it seems
Im doing a load of laundry with my new stuff in it and cooking dinner then show er ring and then relaxing a bit before passing out. A sober 853 is a very unhappy 853. I’m happiest when I’m numb. Like right now.
Had a good night!! Watched Bleach and played perfect dark then watched the pilot of Macgyver tonight with my best friend!!!
I love how I’m the person that makes everyone nervous. The person thats so nervous around people that everyone also gets nervous and therefore avoids me. the person that no one wants to talk to for more than 30 seconds. The person that has nothing
So uh, I stapled my finger. Oops.
So on top of stapling my finger, the spring let go while I was trying to unjam it and launched an entire stick of staples towards my coworkers. All I could say about it was “stapler malfunction” while they glared at me disapprovingly.
therosebell: bronzebasilisk: hyperscraps: vashito: I don’t have chronic pain but this artwork is so nice to look at *^* Just because we’re not writhing on the floor doesn’t mean we’re not hurting. We’ve just gotten really good at hiding
So, I uh looked at pictures of needles and injections trying to look something up and I kinda triggered myself because I’m fucking stupid and now I cant stop thinking about some stuff.
I hate hospitals sooo much.
pyroluminescence: There are still people who don’t think Red and Green are gay as fuck and this concerns me deeply
my forearms are numb.
I’m glad I’m numb. I like how enough alcohol makes me almost not care.
I don’t like getting credit for doing things I do because it makes me uncomfortable. I just want to do things and not be seen or known of.
I feel like shit today. I also havent been productive at work because I’ve been spending so much time hiding in the bathroom. No one would notice any difference in workload if I didn’t go in, and then they would realize how incompetent and
Its my own damn fauld I almost flipped the fuck out
I’m so fucking pathetic. I hate having to exist for so many hours a day.
Its almost like people that follow me dont realize that I;m a creepy 26 year old that has an unhealthy obsession with Ash Ketchum and that I literally look like the bad guy from Men in Black 3.
I was doing my errands, and I decided to try slowing down and relaxing and it just made things worse :(
so a coworker asked me something today and then I answered it and they responded with “talking to you is so depressing”.
So tired and my back is really hurting bad. I’m supposed to be leaving for work in 10 minutes and I haven’t made it downstairs yet.
Dispite the back pain its an ok day so far! !!
I had an ok day but my back pain has been terrible. I’m starting to go downhill so I’m going to bed. A 6 day work week is stressful. I am so tired. yet I don’t seem to be sleeping well. Nothing is really comforting.
So I went to work today dressed like Ash Ketchum, minus the gloves and the hat. The best part was the people I was working with had absolutely no idea, and no one said anything except for the one person I told and even they didn’t recognize it
I’m a pice of shit because I just realized that I've been blowing my best friend off for at least the last two weeks or more. He lives two houses away. Even though I’ve been working 6 day weeks and have been in no shape for any sort of human
When I see myself in the mirror with my Ash Ketchum Jacket on, its kinda calming. Almost the same thing happens when I look down and see it.
Whenever I see those positive posts, I see them as for everyone except me.
I’m lying in bed dressed like ash ketchum with ash ketchum sheets and a pokemon blanket and an ash ketchum plush and I’m 26 years old. Cant get much more pathetic than that.
I hate that I look at thinks too logically. I then get irrationally angry with myself even though I know just because I’m physically capable of doing something doesn’t mean I’m mentally capable of doing it safely.
I wish that someone couldjust tell me what to do for a ewhile in person. Maybe even show me how to do something new or something. Kinda almost wanting a some sort of supervision or directions on what I need to do and stuff.
Can you get high off of large amouts of spicy food? Lets find out!!! My face and whole upper boddy are buzzing!!!!
I really like the feel of the fabric on these new pants. its calming.
The magic of Christmas is almost completely gone for me. Being an “elf” so to speak for 7 years does it I guess.
I remember the time I drove my car and the steering went at the same time as the brakes and I drove for 20 minutes without the ability to turn properly or to stop the car. Then when I got to the garage the muffler fell of as one latfuck you to me
and another day, I was driving a bit over 120mph for 5-10 minutes on the way to a car show I was late for and the front end was shaking and stuff and the steering wheel wanted to tear out of my hands and I stared running out of road and slowed down
I’d probably say that I’’m the cliche that I'm “a danger to myself and others”, but I feel more like I’m just a danger to others? Sometimes I feel like Im just a bad person to be around.
Yeah, I got hit in the face with a softball during gym when I was 10 in a program, and I was later punished “refusal to participate” or something like that because I was afraid to play anymore.
Fuck them, my eye was swollen shut.
Im so tired and everything seems like it wants to start spinning and im feelin dizzy :(
Its nice when you can dress up in nothing but pokemon clothes, hug pokemon/pokemon trainer stuffed dolls and sleep in a bed with pokemon bed sheets on it. *buries self in pokemon*
I’m so tired my eyelids are black and blue :(
I just popped my back like 3309342 times and it feels AWESOME!!! I know that it will be back to excruciating pain again tomorrow, but I can at least enjoy a half hour of relief, and by relief I mean the pain has come down from 7 to 1 ½ so I’m
pyroluminescence: 853 and Pyro are IRL Onceler I even knit okay How bad could I possibly be? pretty bad apparently…
I find it kinda weird that the last two new people that I’ve met outside of work have literally been convicted murderers. As in brutal, violent murderers like the ones you hear about on the news. Should tell ya about the type of person I really
I have a bit of a picking habit and today I noticed I seem to have worn a groove into my monitor stand from my fingernail
Its 23 degrees and I’m in bed on my phone next to an open window because whatevers being cooked downstairs the smell is making its way through my closed door and making me sick and I haven’t been able to sleep for hours because of it.
I keep forgetting to take my vitamins. I’m sure thats why I’m getting these dizzy spells.
*Passes out with a big stupid grin on face* :) good night! !!
Also, up until yesterday I’ve been working close to 50 hours a week, worked around and operated dangerous machinery while in a dangerously exhausted and compromised state, and may have allegedly done serious damage to the environment.
Aparently theres something wrong with one of our cats. Hes trying to pee on everything and leaving drips everywhere. My mom wants me to go with her to take him to the vet hospital
I hate the smell of rubbing alcohol and I hate needles.
I’m pretty pathetic.
I’m so useless
I’m in so much pain all over my body but its ok because I’m a useless terrible person that deserves it. I actually deserve much more
Every time I try to think of myself as an old person I get the sense that I’m not supposed to live that long and I’m pretty much just waiting for something to happen fairly soon maybe in the next few years like a car accident or something.
thylaed: shout out to people who are scared to call others out, whose hands shake when they try to explain what’s wrong, whose throats threaten to close up with thoughts of ‘what if i’m just overreacting’, whose hearts are pounding out of their
I shoudn’t be awake right now. I have to run my errands because I forgot to do them on thursday, and I’ll have to snowblow the driveway before I go anywhere tomorrow. I havent really been keen on waking up with plushies in bed with me (I
