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my brain: “remember all these terrible things you did when you were younger. Shame you weren’t caught ecause you’d still be in prison” Me: Can u nOT? Its bad enough knowing that if anyone ever found out, I could still go to prison
Tonight has been my most active night EVER. I go for days without getting a single message and tonight I got 2 messages simultaneously not onece but TWICE. The first time I almost panicked over seeing a “2” (LOL Bender “I thought I
Decided to go on a bike ride (got my tire fixed finally) Went to put a load of laundry in the washer before I left and was greeted by a nasty smell from the washer. Looks like I left a load of clothes in there since Tuesday and forgot about it. And that
I was supposed to be in bed an hour ago. I have somewhere I have to be tomorrow. I’m in bed now though (laptop mode engaged). Nothing feels as good as wrapping yourself in Pokemon sheets. Even though I know the monsters CAN get me even when hiding
My alarm didn’t go off for some reason. I have like 15 minutes until I’m supposed to leave to go to a work thing (yep on my day off). As usual, I can’t feel my legs. I’m gonna chance it cause I need food before I leave. hopefully
There are 3 people that I follow I want to try talking to that I don’t know but I am way too nervous, and I feel like too much of an annoyance to try. Sure I could say “Hi” but what else after that? I’m to stupid to have any sort
Its 6am, and I’m drunk dressed like Ash Ketchum. Nothing new here but i kinda almost feel like i’m hot. I’d rather see other hot people dressed like Ash Ketchum though. people that would enjoy being naked around me except for Ashes Kanto
I just almost got really upset because I couldn’t find my ash gloves because I suddenly needed something on my hands. luckily I found them before I got way more upset than would have healthy.
I like wearing my Ash Ketchum gloves. Its like two little hugs for my hands.
I guess I should be lucking the fact that the only thing that I can say is triggering for me is being stuck with a needle, especially for bloodwork. It brings up things that are seriously not fun. seeing pictures isn;t bad though. Its more controlled.
Oh, thats why. after scrolling through my posts last night i realized its because deep down, I’m a fucking sicko. I’m used to thinking about that inside where no one can see, but it looks like some things made it out last night. I guess its
I hate feeling like I don’t deserve to talk to people. Some times I get so upset I even feel like I don;t deserve to be online around people even If I’m not interacting with them.
Work. I am REALLY nervous. nott looking forward to tonight :(
I’m not even drinking because I didn’t feel like it which is really out of charater for me on a friday night/saturday morning. Its 4am and I cant sleep. I hate being a pathetic loser that cant handle a little bit of stress for a few weeks.
Spent most of the time I’ve been awake outside working on stuff then went out to eat with my best friend. feeling a little better I guess but still exhausted.
Well, I did something stupid. I;m just going to go and try not to exist for a while.
One of the few things that makes me feel a little less shitty when I;m not happy is video game music, especially Pokemon music.
why is it that I get so scared to talk to people? even if I know them and even online? Its not like I’m face to face with them and I’m in a quiet, safe place. Not to mention I have all the time in the world to say something. Its not like If
also, I appreciate the 2 or 3 of you (idk I was pretty out of it an may have responded with something stupid) that were nice enough to check up on me the other day but really I’m not important or anything so theres no reason to waste time on me.
I guess I’m drunk enouhg to not care about posting this
I’ve been up for like 15 minutes and I’m ready to go back to bed.
Well, I just found out what happens when you accidentally touch your knuckles to a 220F exhaust header for a car. feels good man
I burned my hand by accident… That’s the only noteworthy thing I’ve done in the past couple weeks.
Its 3:30Am, I havent showered yet, I have a bunch of errands to do tomorrow, and I’m going to go for a walk to smoke a cigarette and drink a beer. Gonna wear wear a Pokemon shirt too because I’m just that badass.
First post ever from a mobile device!!! I feel so empowered and yet so alone. Its kinda nice though. Really quiet out here.
My leg hurts. Time to turn around :(
got home a little while ago then had some cereal. Gonna pass out in a little bit. My leg still hurts. Its right in the top of my right thigh.
I just got home from McDonalds and there was just this random pair of shoes outside facing the glowing “M” logo and I decided it was probably not a good idea to look directly at it in case I got disintegrated or vaporized or something
I was going to make a post about not being tired but now that I’m laying in bed I’m starting to feel tired. I gueuss tas a good thing as I’m overthinking again
I got so upset at work last night I forgot how to count to seven.
Work. Glad that theres a long weekend because I have been really stressed out lately.
Just got home from work. Its been a stressful week. Time to unwind a bit by scrolling 80 pgs of dash, then doing some crazy adult analytical work stuff.
I wrote up a whole list of things to discuss next week at work on Tuesday. Its time for me to stop being a baby and being intimidated by how big our new building is and to try to show people what I’m capable of.
Time to celebrate. Gonna crack a beer and chug some JD then jump in the shower!!
I’m going to fix all the issues by the next weekend after this one. 4 days to get some of these new procedures in place!!! Hell, I should go for the good stuff, I’m breaking out the fireball whiskey!!!
..well maybe fix is a bit of an overstatement. I mean I’m going to minimize some of the issues at work!!!
I;m still gonna go for the fireball though!!! Its 422am and IDC that its late!! I chugged a 20oz red bull before work and its strangely hasn’t worn off yet. probably because I haven’t been drinking energy drinks lately
My Ash ketchum gloves make things feel better. They seem a bit loose these days though :( My hands need proper hugs
Thpughts of ash make me feel safe.
(at work this week on two occasions summed up)“I’m doing the best I can.” “That may be, but sometimes your best isn’t good enough. Get it done on time” Asshole. Hes been getting all pissed at me because I don’t
While I haven’t gotten out of bed yet, today seems to be a good day because I didn’t wake up with shitty thoughts about myself. Its almost always in the morning so I guess I dodged that today!
I guess I’ve been volunteered to help someone move out or something
Well that turned out to be a busy day. I helped a friends friend move and they were literally rednecks complete with all the beat up pickup trucks (I rode around in literally the dirtiest vehicle I’ve ever been in. The dashboard was so covered in
clumsyoctopus: life rules - you are never as awkward as you think you are- you are never as annoying as you think you are- you are never as boring as you think you are- your compliments are never as creepy as you think they are - you are way more wanted
My mom bought me a new floor fan to relpace this broken POS I currently have!!!!
I think its time to get into bed where its safe :(
Why now? I’ve actually had a good weekend and ave been soical and out of the house and driving a lot and have been ok. Why am I so worried all of a sudden about people?
Getting kinda tweaky and weird feeling. *puts down laptop and sobs into ash ketchum pillow*
I just feel really shitty rn
I just woke fucking crying. I’ve seen a lot f posts about people having nightmares an shit and had always been fairly lucky until now to barely even dream let alone have dreams like this last one that I can barely remember but I’m still really
I have no idea why but literally everything is confusing right now Like what is this glowing thing I;m staring at right now and what are these sparky neon green and purple spots floating infront of my eyes
I dont want to exist for a while.
So
I wonder why I feel more secure when I have my ash gloves on. Probably the same reason that I cant do anything other than showering without socks on. Not wearing socks makes me really uncomfortable. Not that I need to wear gloves all the time but its
Got all my errands done early today. Doing some more cleaning
I really like nice messages. Most of the time they don’t always get posted becuse I keep them in my inbox for reading later when Im upset/ I really want to thank you all that have ever send me a nice message ;u;
Its 5:25am and Its time for bed. I guess I had an ok day. I got out of bed around 3:30pm and got dressed, ate, and left for work. I ended up being ½ hour late because of an accident , and was really upset and stressed because I an normally on time.
Wow, my back is hurting really bad today :( the worst part is that I think I have to help m best friend lift the cab of a truck off the ground. Like litterally lift a truck. Like this By hand
So I was at my best friends house today and I was messing around in the garage and I I got hit in the face with a bicycle because I do stupid things
Not a good day :(
