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I remember reading a post on a website a couple years ago where someone had quit their job working for an aircraft maintenance company and mentioning that they were disgruntled and that they had one of their tools missing and thought they might have left
When you get mad enough, sometimes you just don’t care about other peoples safety.
I wish I were good enough.
I also think its notable that I was out of bed at 1130am and I’m putting away my laundry instead of leaving it in the basket
Just got back from shopping. I have energy to do stuff but it rained a couple hours ago so I can’t mow the lawn or do yard work because everything is soaking wet :(
Time to go be a failure again.
I hurt my leg at work. I smashed it into a metal cart really hard because I was rushing.I smashed it just above my ankle on the side and its swollen and really bothering me.
Ugh, I feel sick :(
I had a bad night at work So I started drinking heavy right when I got home. However I got a random phonecall like 10 minutes after I got home and talked about computers for an hour. It put me behind on on my dash but I got though it and I’m looping
My mouth still hasn’t healed from getting hit in the face with a bicycle last weekend. I still have a nasty and painful sore inside my lower lip :(
And when I say hit in the face with a bicycle, I literally mean that a bicycle fell on my face out of the rafters of my friends garage because I was being stupid and trying to balance it in the air with the handlebars. I then lost the balance and the
It really sucks wwhen you suddenly want to hide from everything and everyone but theres no one around and there isn’t anywhere else that would be any further away from things and going anywhere else would make things worse. *Hides under blankets*
So, I didn’t post anything for 4 days because I was scared of everyone for some stupid reason. I now have a drafts folder filled with everything I would have posted, and as a warning I just want to say I will be just dumping it all at once to be
And thats the like on that post
Just got home. Had the first good night at work in weeks. Got out early enough to go to the bar. I figured it would be nice and quiet. I got there and I found they were running a special. I bought a nice glass and it was ũ to fill it all night. I only
Whats suddenly hilarious all of a sudden is I got a random call on my cell phone and it was a shipper from work about a package because a driver left my number behind by accident. I’m glad I was awake and coherent for it because I’m normally
So this weekend I will be home alone without adult supervision. While I am an adult in age, I certainly am not in terms of maturity and no one seems to be around/already has plans. I have no idea what to do!!! Well, off to work. Gonna chug a 20oz red
So, I had a shitty night at work and I almost cried on the way home but I didn;t and now I’m drining and cleaning the house because no ones here and its one of the few things that calms me down and its great that no one iz home.
So the house it pretty clean and I’m going out to take a walk down the street with a beer and smoke a cigarette. I really need it. The cigarette I mean. Then I’m going to take a nice long shower, and after that I’m going to start cooking
I mean I’ve felt like absolute garbage because of work lately. I just cant get shit right and tonigt I find out that one person is on vacation and another is coing in late and isn’t going to be able to help when they do come in and I’m
so Im 40 minutes behind. I havent been out yet. I found a faverite stiuffed animal when I was a kid whle I was cleaning and I was vacuumining it and it smeled a bit and Im drunk and I tried to grab the fabreezee sbut I accidentally sprayed bleach on it
guess whos awake despite drinking heavily and going to bed at 6am! Guess who was hoping to sleep until 6pm! Guess who can feel their achy legs and the tops of their feet over the ankles are really sore and a little swollen from running miles in boots?
Feeling a bit sad and useless rn and I’m not really sure why because I had an okay day :(
I’m going to go and try not to exist for a while. Not a good night :(
This isn’t good… headache,palpitations and dizziness out of nowhere..
Geez, I really am a useless piece of shit.
Jusst hat to say this is the firtst good night at work ive had in months!!!
I just remembered something really random: When I was in a residential program, I was literally left in a burning building. I was in the shower, and someone banged on the door a couple times and was yelling stuff but I couldn’t hear it over the
*Cries for no reason*
A lot of times I want to talk to people or comment on things, but I feel I’m not allowed to/stop myself from doing it because I say stupid things and it upsets people because I don’t know when to shut up and I find its just better I I just
WHy am I such a useless piece of shit? (smashes head on keyboard) m m, h
Memories of swinging on a tire swing at a friends house and the rope snapped and I fell on the ground and got the wind knocked out of me. And another time having a rock thrown at my head at the same friends house and just being told by their dad to go
I fucking hate nights like this. I’m fucking 26, but in my head I’m just a shitty little child that can barely do anything right. It sucks that I’m just a shitty little child IRL too though. Some mornings its like a punch in the face
While I’m thinking about stuff, A lot of times I think about just ignoring/blocking all my followers so they wouldn’t have to see my shit on their dashes. Not that any of them would notice. The only thing thats keeping me from just deleting
I don’t even know why I have followers in the first place. I’ve actually done what I could to try to stay under the radar and not post things into tags and try not to post things that might get tons of notes or otherwise attract attention.
On Sunday I was surprised by a visit from an old staff member from a program I was in about 16 years ago. He was always nice and we had kept in touch and he would come and visit once in a while. I hadn’t seen him in about 3 ½ years and we
I really don’t like myself all that much.
Its been nice to feel happines and hopefulness for an change instead of sadness,anger, and hopelessness.
I’m wide awake and I need to get rest for work tomorrow because I start full time for the holidays and I have to go in for early afternoon not the evening like normal and still work all the way thorough. Not sure what I’ll be working on but
Time for work :( geez this early to be going in for me.
The past week has been exhausting and my back pain has been terrible. It keeps locking up and spasming :(
Can I just remove my entire spine? And maybe that chunk of muscle in my mid back that keeps spasming. ugh.
Aside from the terrible back pain I’ve been having (much worse than usual) I guess I’m doing ok.I played with my gas powered RC truck and I cleaned my room and washed all my laundry so despite the fact that it feels like my back has like
I don’t usually talk about my aches and pains but everything hurts soo bad right now. My back is destroyed, my rib is aching, and my legs feel like someone is sawing them off.
12 hours from now I will be at work. Last year I had ridiculous hours that messed up my sleep schedule that I still haven’t recovered from. This year the hours are not so crazy but the workload is. It has completely ruined any chances of ever
I will never amount to anything useful. I’m well past the chance of that happening.
Wow, now I’m just worrying about my friend. I know it was just a dream, but still. Maybe I should just get dressed for work and just go back to sleep and not get up until I have to leave for work. But that would involve getting out of bed to begin
That was a nice 9.5 hour shift :(
I’ve been thinking about a random person from elementary school in a program I was in and how everyone, including the teacher would call him names. He wasn’t a mean person, but his last name was very similar to the word “libel”
I’m fgreaking out because I have to drive to work in my monms car because my car has a small issue thats not a problem and she made and apoinmtment to fix it and didn’t tell me and m\noew I have to drive a car I’, msacered to driva
I had a shitty anxiety and stress filled day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. The only confirmed thing I’m looking forward to is Pokemon XY on Saturday. I’m just going to wrap myself in blankets and try not to exist for a while and hope
Losing your Pokemon is the saddest thing ever. I’m crying over my first Pikachu’s death. Time to try to not exist for a while.
I lost a follower lost night. People sometimes come and go but I’m a little sad because it was one of my first followers, and I have no idea why they would suddenly unfollow. I mean we never talked but they would like my posts and stuff. I thought
I got unfollowed by one of my first followers last night around this time and I’m still kinda sad and wondering what I did that made them leave but it obviously was enough to make them leave and as messed up as it sounds I kinda feel like I lost
I don’t want to be an adult today. Can I go back to kindergarten and have story time and do finger paintings and have recess and play on the playground and color in coloring books and have naptime?
I kinda like posting at this time of day because no ones around and no one will scroll their dash back this far later at night and see my stupidness.
C'mon brain, I do not wish to recall this specific set of memories right now.
I like how my current top post is about how no one is on during a certain time of day and that no one would scroll back that far on their dash or see those posts.
Hell, the fact that that post even has notes to begin with shows what a failure I am.
It fucking sucks that this started with me thinking about how my rib hadn’t been hurting for a while and then I started thinking about how I got the injury in the first place and now I’m having trouble not thinking about it and its starting
