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“Are you a gong? Or a touch of the dramatic? Because I could never resist you.”

“Are you a gong? Or a touch of the dramatic? Because I could never resist you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s grave? Because I dig you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s grave? Because I dig you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s wedding song? Because I could never forget you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s wedding song? Because I could never forget you.”

“You’re more important than understanding the obliquity of the ecliptic.”

“You’re more important than understanding the obliquity of the ecliptic.”

“May I be your unsavory companion of dubious morals?”

“May I be your unsavory companion of dubious morals?”

“Lady Carmichael isn’t the only highly intelligent woman of rare perception I see here.”

“Lady Carmichael isn’t the only highly intelligent woman of rare perception I see here.”

“You’re clearly acclimatized to never getting to the end of a sentence. I could give you something else to do with your mouth, if you’d like.”

“You’re clearly acclimatized to never getting to the end of a sentence. I could give you something else to do with your mouth, if you’d like.”

“Forget the hanging in Wandsworth– I’d like to take a ‘professional’ interest in how well you’re hung.”

“Forget the hanging in Wandsworth– I’d like to take a ‘professional’ interest in how well you’re hung.”

“Unprincipled drug addict or not, I’ll gladly be your gentleman hero.”

“Unprincipled drug addict or not, I’ll gladly be your gentleman hero.”

“I would give you dancing lessons even if it meant your Sign Language needed work.”

“I would give you dancing lessons even if it meant your Sign Language needed work.”

“Are you a future world? Because I have a conjecture of how I might fit inside you.”

“Are you a future world? Because I have a conjecture of how I might fit inside you.”

“Sitting in the Carmichaels’ greenhouse isn’t the only thing we can do together that’s murder on the knees.”

“Sitting in the Carmichaels’ greenhouse isn’t the only thing we can do together that’s murder on the knees.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s ghost? Because I want you to be my boo.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s ghost? Because I want you to be my boo.”

“My feelings for you are so blindingly obvious, even Lestrade could work them out.”

“My feelings for you are so blindingly obvious, even Lestrade could work them out.”

“I must go deep into myself to solve this case… but first I’d like to be deep into you.”

“I must go deep into myself to solve this case… but first I’d like to be deep into you.”

“I don’t care whether you’re a Viennese alienist or a retired army surgeon– you can ask me any curious questions you like.”

“I don’t care whether you’re a Viennese alienist or a retired army surgeon– you can ask me any curious questions you like.”

“My feelings for you are so clear, not even the impossibly imbecilic Scotland Yard could be confused about them.”

“My feelings for you are so clear, not even the impossibly imbecilic Scotland Yard could be confused about them.”

“The only papers I want floating in my mind palace are love letters from you.”

“The only papers I want floating in my mind palace are love letters from you.”

“Communicating in the Diogenes Club isn’t the only thing I can do with these hands.”

“Communicating in the Diogenes Club isn’t the only thing I can do with these hands.”

“Is your name Hooper? Because you’d be the most beautiful woman in the room even if you had a mustache.”

“Is your name Hooper? Because you’d be the most beautiful woman in the room even if you had a mustache.”

“Are you a loaded firearm in the pocket of my dressing gown? Because I want to finger you.”

“Are you a loaded firearm in the pocket of my dressing gown? Because I want to finger you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti? Because you got my attention in very efficient fashion.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti? Because you got my attention in very efficient fashion.”

“Your admirably high arches aren’t the only thing I noticed as soon as you stepped into the room.”

“Your admirably high arches aren’t the only thing I noticed as soon as you stepped into the room.”

“From a drop of water, a logician should be able to infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara, but they’re gonna need a hell of a lot more than that to infer how wet I can make you.”

“From a drop of water, a logician should be able to infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara, but they’re gonna need a hell of a lot more than that to infer how wet I can make you.”

“Don’t take Moriarty’s word for it. Come see for yourself how surprisingly comfortable my bed is.”

“Don’t take Moriarty’s word for it. Come see for yourself how surprisingly comfortable my bed is.”

“Are you a drug? Because you alleviate boredom and occasionally heighten my thought processes.”

“Are you a drug? Because you alleviate boredom and occasionally heighten my thought processes.”

“Will you be the pipe to my Holmes? I want you in my mouth.”

“Will you be the pipe to my Holmes? I want you in my mouth.”

“Forget morphine or cocaine. I get plenty high just off of your presence.”

“Forget morphine or cocaine. I get plenty high just off of your presence.”

Happy Easter, everyone! That Cumberbunny is a real thing, by the way…

Happy Easter, everyone! That Cumberbunny is a real thing, by the way…

“I want to be more permanently glued to you than Mycroft’s ever expanding backside is to his spot.”

“I want to be more permanently glued to you than Mycroft’s ever expanding backside is to his spot.”

“Are you Mary’s pregnancy? Because I noticed you before anyone else did.”

“Are you Mary’s pregnancy? Because I noticed you before anyone else did.”

“You don’t need to put on a mustache in order to examine my body.”

“You don’t need to put on a mustache in order to examine my body.”

“Are you Sherlock Holmes? Because I wanna see you shake your mind pal-ass.”

“Are you Sherlock Holmes? Because I wanna see you shake your mind pal-ass.”

“If you were a Baskerville Hound, I would get drugged on purpose just to see you.”

“If you were a Baskerville Hound, I would get drugged on purpose just to see you.”

“My balls are bluer than the carbuncle Watson wrote about.”

“My balls are bluer than the carbuncle Watson wrote about.”

“Do you have a feet fetish? Because my game is afoot.”

“Do you have a feet fetish? Because my game is afoot.”

“Anyone could be the Abominable Bride, but only you could be my bride.”

“Anyone could be the Abominable Bride, but only you could be my bride.”

“You’re more important to me than finding Emelia Ricoletti’s substitute corpse.”

“You’re more important to me than finding Emelia Ricoletti’s substitute corpse.”

“If you think Mycroft is enormous, just wait until you see my dick.”

“If you think Mycroft is enormous, just wait until you see my dick.”

“I want my mind palace to have your details so perfect, I won’t need drugs to be immersed in them.”

“I want my mind palace to have your details so perfect, I won’t need drugs to be immersed in them.”

“I never understood the murderous jealousy of the one who wrote about the obliquity of the ecliptic until I saw you with another man.”

“I never understood the murderous jealousy of the one who wrote about the obliquity of the ecliptic until I saw you with another man.”

“Are you Moriarty? Because I’m looking for a maths professor to multiply with.”

“Are you Moriarty? Because I’m looking for a maths professor to multiply with.”

“Is your name Jeanette? Because you obviously have class.”

“Is your name Jeanette? Because you obviously have class.”

“Magnussen shouldn’t be the only one who knows how you taste.”

“Magnussen shouldn’t be the only one who knows how you taste.”

“Are you a nice little place in central London? Because I’ve got my eyes on you.”Submitted (with photo) by @erudiced.

“Are you a nice little place in central London? Because I’ve got my eyes on you.”Submitted (with photo) by @erudiced.

“If you and I had an appointment in Samarra, I would never go to Sumatra and become a pirate instead.”

“If you and I had an appointment in Samarra, I would never go to Sumatra and become a pirate instead.”

“I would go right into Hell and make it look like I meant it just to save you.”

“I would go right into Hell and make it look like I meant it just to save you.”

“Eurus may think I’m nicer than anyone, but just wait until you see my naughty side.”

“Eurus may think I’m nicer than anyone, but just wait until you see my naughty side.”

“You can borrow my handcuffs in the salad drawer anytime… But only if you use them with me.”

“You can borrow my handcuffs in the salad drawer anytime… But only if you use them with me.”

“I would tell you that I love you even if Eurus didn’t say there was a bomb in your flat.”

“I would tell you that I love you even if Eurus didn’t say there was a bomb in your flat.”

“Your coffin isn’t the only ‘box’ of yours I’d smash with passion.”Based on a suggestion by @morbidmegz.

“Your coffin isn’t the only ‘box’ of yours I’d smash with passion.”Based on a suggestion by @morbidmegz.

“Getting over you is more impossible than arresting a jellyfish.”

“Getting over you is more impossible than arresting a jellyfish.”

“Are you John’s therapist’s flower vase? Because when I look at you, I see a tall glass of water.”

“Are you John’s therapist’s flower vase? Because when I look at you, I see a tall glass of water.”

“No balloon could ever be a substitute for you.”

“No balloon could ever be a substitute for you.”

“I love you more than Sherlock loves ginger nuts.”

“I love you more than Sherlock loves ginger nuts.”

“I find you more fascinating than an unmoving Toby.”

“I find you more fascinating than an unmoving Toby.”

“Would you like to have a night of passion in High Wycombe with me?”

“Would you like to have a night of passion in High Wycombe with me?”

“Are you Culverton Smith? Because you take my breath away.”

“Are you Culverton Smith? Because you take my breath away.”

“Are you one of the boys from the cafe? Because I would let you drop me… into your bed.”

“Are you one of the boys from the cafe? Because I would let you drop me… into your bed.”

“If you were credit, I would take you even after John published his blog.”

“If you were credit, I would take you even after John published his blog.”

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