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“I know caring is not an advantage, but that hasn’t stopped me from caring about you.”
“Your Moves Like Jagger make me want to Stay Alive.”
“I put the ‘wood’ in 'Westwood.’”
“Will you join my football team and raise five children with me?”
“If there was a fire, you’d be my priority exposed.”
“Want me to make you moan like my text alert?”
“I’d like to get a double room in Dartmoor with you.”
“Will you be my division?”
“If you were my holiday, I wouldn’t need to fancy another one.”
“My dick is so huge, my doggy style is referred to as Baskerville Hound style.”
“Shall I show you the code to my safe?”
“I won’t just be mother– I’ll be a MILF.”
“Mind if I stick my ‘umbrella’ in your 'division’?”
“Are you for men? Because I’d like to wear you… on my penis.”
“Want to see what else I keep hidden in my bra?”
“I’m not just a woman– I’m the Woman woman!”
“Shall we play doctor? Army doctor, that is.”
“I may be on a diet, but I’d still lick your ‘frosting.’”
“You. Me. Three continents. How about it?”
“England would fall if you left me.”
“I would make you scream my name even if we were in the Diogenes Club.”
“I’d go on a second date with you even if we got kidnapped by Chinese smugglers during our first.”
“How about you get off of that phone and let me show you how much fun we can have in the back seat of this car?”
“I may be a blind banker, but I bet I can make you fall for me with two seconds of silence.”
“I would give you the good pill every time.”
“Excuse me, but did you say ‘Fuck the police’? You must be my division.”
“Honey, you should see me in a crown… and nothing else.”
“I’m what people DO!”
“Will you be my live-in normal?”
“I have an app that can steal anything… including your heart.”
“Mrs. Hudson, are you trying to seduce me?”
“How do you feel about Hamish for a baby name?”
“Why should you choose me? Well, I am my own least irritating officer.”
“I would go on three dates with you even if you turned out to be a gay, consulting criminal.”
“I would wait a year and a half just to serenade you with my Bee Gees ringtone.”
“You know, I’ve got a phone. I mean, very clever and all that, but you could just booty call me. On my phone.”
“I would never chase some killer while trying to get off with you.”
“I don’t care about your intermittent tremor– I just wanted an excuse to hold your hand.”
“I thought your post-mortem joke was funny.”
“My division is the one between your legs.”
“If you were my day to die, I could never get a better offer.”
“If Moriarty was about to murder you, I would give him a call.”
“A Black Lotus flower isn’t the only thing I can put in your mouth.”
“I have five children.” Okay, so this one’s actually a bit of an inside joke… My ex-boyfriend, (whom I am no longer on speaking terms with), has a daughter now, and he’s been persistently trying to inform me of this fact.
“Forget Fifty Shades of Grey– how about fifty shades of silver?”
“I was Wats-off, but then you turned me Wats-on.”
“My umbrella will keep you dry, but I’ll keep you wet.”
“I’m not your type? Don’t worry– I’m sooooo changeable.”
“Can we go to your place? There’s a consulting criminal storyteller hiding at mine.”
“Want to know why the fandom calls me ‘Fucking Anderson’?”
“Bond Air isn’t my only ‘jumbo jet,’ if you get what I mean.”
“Don’t worry if I shout ‘Damn my leg!’ My third leg is still perfectly functional.”
“Want to go to Buckingham Palace and color-coordinate our ties?”
“I’d let you hold my hand even if you kidnapped me and asked me to spy on my flatmate.”
“My coat isn’t the only thing that’s pink and wet.”
“Are you Irene Adler? Because I’d like to keep a picture of you in my pocket watch.â€Based on a suggestion by @cat-n-claw.
“On your knees, Professor… Don’t worry, I have something much better than kicking you over the Reichenbach Falls planned.â€
“Sitting in the Carmichaels’ greenhouse isn’t the only thing we can do together that’s murder on the knees.â€
“Are you the Carmichaels’ broken window? Because there’s only one of you.â€
“Now why don’t you stop beating that corpse and put that riding crop to good use?â€Submitted by @call-me-mrs-moriarty.
