they told me
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pizza: when i meet a new person i’m scared of mentioning something they haven’t already told me but i’ve learned from internet stalking them Not me, I like to confront them on such things after awhile.
sassydreamlandstarfish: My wife’s eyes went wide when she saw what he had. “Oh my God, I… wow… I’ve never seen one that big, I… oh my God… (giggle) okay how do you want me?” She’d told me that of course they were definitely going to
hankmiller1966: Dad and Uncle Ron told me to get on the couch do they could take turns with me.
ropesnotroses1: I used to be such a shy pet, I didn’t want to send Master any pictures of his tight little asshole – I didn’t think they were pretty. But Master has taught me and told me many times that both my pussy and asshole are really quite
someone just told me i was “irritable” and “prickly” fuck do they know. edit - im also abrasive and short tempered. well fuck me to the moon then.
deceptinyan said: Some really nice people on tumblr told me about it after already reporting them. It was really nice of the people to come tell me, but I think they were taking it way more serious than I was, because I was just laughing about it
aaliyah1979-2001: i kept asking the guy working there “why are they beeps” and he was laughin and then i didnt buy any and he told me “no beeps?????” rly softly and me and matthew lost it
western79th: JUST MADE A XTUBE VIDEO WITH HIM WHY DO GUYS LIKE ME WHEN I TOP THEM???? I THINK I’M A BORING TOP BUT THEY LOVE IT. HE TOLD ME TO TELL HIM WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO BUST THAT NUT BUT FUCK THAT THE ASS WAS SO GOOD TO CAME IN HIS ASS HE BUST A
guiseofgentlewords: my father told me once to never date anyone who talks smoothly around you from the start because if someone likes you they should be a little nervous and honestly i think that’s some of the best advice anyone has ever given me
dangergays: My boyfriend broke up with me and my 80 year old, 5 foot tall, Indian grandmother told me that “there are lots of men…” I thought she was then going to say “…in the sea” but she said “…they’re like flies” and made a disgusted
procrastiqueen replied to your post “The only thing I’m getting out of this godforsaken rain delay is that…” me 2 me 2 why dont i have one???? probably b/c we cant quit buying t-shirts and blankets. THEY’RE COMING BACK OUT PRAISE THIS
necrofuturism: alkthash: mahou-kanade: botanicalwitch: once a lady told me that if my plants are dying even when I’m caring for them correctly, it means they’re absorbing the curses my enemies are casting upon me. so now when my plants randomly
just-gypsy-caroline: dangergays: My boyfriend broke up with me and my 80 year old, 5 foot tall, Indian grandmother told me that “there are lots of men…” I thought she was then going to say “…in the sea” but she said “…they’re like
beckyhop: wtfbadromancecovers: A series of very bored men. Editor’s note: This is the look each of their faces when they were told the punny titles. @artemispanthar, you’re gonna hate me for @ - ing you on this one. I couldn’t settle on a ‘wtf’
fubuku-quelquechose: someone told me they hated bubblegum so it made me want to draw her more
incestpicsrevealed: I couldn’t utter even a single word as my mom revealed her bombshells to me and told me that they now were mine to play with as I pleased.
familysexmom: My son told me his buddies didn’t believe a older woman was sucking him off so I put on this mask they won’t recognize me.
thighclapper: vegan-vulcan: baebly: this cow is prettier than me Dude someone once told me I look like a cow and I was like “omg really? Have you seen cows? Because I have and they’re fucking gorgeous and adorable, so thanks” Fun fact: “cow-eyed”
indiebunnny: scootsenshi: quadvillain: swoleblonde: “YOU DONT NEED TO WEAR MAKEUP!” I’m crying..this is my new official response to every boy who’s ever told me they liked me better without makeup 😂😂 Im fucking dead @asialuni
blow-rob: when I was in the seventh grade I accidentally got invited to a birthday party but the kid realized he sent me an invite and told me not to come and I was just sadly watching people post on Facebook about how they were getting ready and then
holmstuck: one time in 6th grade these kids found out that im not religious somehow and they cornered me at lunch and told me that i was going to hell so i stood completely still and rolled my eyes back into my head and said “im already there” and
effingcrazy: transientterritory: atomicdomme: one of the most useful things anyone ever told me is that cis people generally don’t spend a whole lot of time wondering if they’re trans This is literally the realization that started me on transition.
just-gypsy-caroline: dangergays: My boyfriend broke up with me and my 80 year old, 5 foot tall, Indian grandmother told me that “there are lots of men…” I thought she was then going to say “…in the sea” but she said “…they’re like flies”
wannabepreggo: I could tell from the ad that this wasn’t just a typical maid position, especially not with how much they were offering to pay. But when my employer told me about the bonuses for letting guests knock me up I couldn’t resist. I’m
nakedangel13: Someone told me they like my denim shorts. Tell me what you think of them.
emersongruffpup: The pool party was a blast. And about 10 people that I know told me that they follow me on here, so to all of those people: hello! Let’s not be awkward about how you’ve seen my penis and stuff.
microth0ng: nintooner: team aqua is amazing Team magma is so scary like they threaten to kill you no joke maxie told me he’d bury me with his own hands
scootsenshi: quadvillain: swoleblonde: “YOU DONT NEED TO WEAR MAKEUP!” I’m crying..this is my new official response to every boy who’s ever told me they liked me better without makeup 😂😂 Im fucking dead
the-anal-destiny: Mom always said “If they wanna leave, let them. And then make them regret it.” That’s a lie. My mother actually told me when I was 5 that she adopted me from the gorilla exhibit at the zoo. Anyway, here’s my tatas.
sillysiddy: This week started off shitty and it just got worse for me today. I was on the phone catchin’ up with @_revisionary_ after a session, when he told me, “Yo, you heard the news? Prodigy died. They talkin’ ‘bout it all over the Twitter
do-black-people-do-stuff: therickmoranisversion: do-black-people-do-stuff: ‘My white friends would wait for the store owner to follow me around, and then start shoplifting. They only told me this later…’ Those aren’t friends, those are demons
deliciafelicia: On Friday my coworker told me I was wearing Hogwarts colors and it made me want to cry with joy. These shoes are allegrias and they are amazing, and I’m sorry you can’t see my rhinestone flying pig brooch for #broochtober #ootd #fatshion
black–lamb: black–lamb: Good news yall. I just got the pet sitting job from the company on Craigslist. The interview went really well and they liked me. Thank you to the person who told me about the ad. I’m really excited to get started and
nerual-noskcaj: pantryraids: so there’s a boy at my school and i see him a lot and he stares at me really weird but i didn’t get it and today my friend asks if i know him and i asked why but apparently in 6th grade he asked me out and i told him
eatsleepcrap: I was sitting alone in Biology today, when the teacher told us we needed to work in pairs, and he looked over at me and asked “And why are you sitting on a table on your own?” And me being the snarky little ball of sunlight that I am,
spoopify: ddaanniieelleelluunna: Today this girl in class looked different because she had straightened her hair and I told her it was so pretty and straight and she goes “unlike me”. So me thinking that she has bad self esteem, I say “don’t
