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mommy-breeder: When dad walked in, part of me knew we were busted and we were going to pay for this one way or another. The part of me that kept my hips thrusting into my mother knew better, because my father was a little bitch who couldn’t do a thing
writterings: my favorite part about stranger things is that one scene in the first episode where dustin brings the last slice of pizza to nancy’s room and is all like “hey you want it?” because at first i was like. here we go. we gotta deal with
thespankacademy: Did somebody say that The Spank Academy was having ANOTHER Fire Sale??!Hell yeah we are!This sale is a little different from the other ones we’ve had in the past, because this one let’s you CHOOSE ANY BUTT PLUG YOU WANT, all for
dean-the-piesexual: OK STORY TIME I WAS BABYSITTING THIS 6 YEAR OLD BOY AND WE ATE POPSICLES, THIS WAS THE JOKE ON MINE AND I TOLD IT TO HIM, BECAUSE THATS WHAT YOU DO WITH JOKES AND SO LIKE A DAY LATER I GET THIS CALL FROM HIS MOM AND SHE SAYS “My
paternal-instinct: The Borromean rings: three rings linked in such a way that if one ring was removed, the entire linkage is lost. I guess you could call my brothers and me the “Borromean Bros” because without one, we are nothing, but together we
paternal-instinct:The Borromean rings: three rings linked in such a way that if one ring was removed, the entire linkage is lost. I guess you could call my brothers and me the “Borromean Bros” because without one, we are nothing, but together we create
doctorwho: We can neither confirm… Nor deny. evilnerdproductions: #I am convinced that this was not in the script #Matt was supposed to jump on the hammock and missed #because he’s Matt and he is a danger to himself and others #and this line
itskyatto: loloftheday: Our cat had all four roommates feeding him each day because he acted like he was starving and we didn’t know that the other roommate already fed him. This was our solution, hopefully he will slim down a bit.
quasarkisses:3-ducks-in-a-trenchcoat: kiyokospeaks: hundondestiny: gaycism: Are there gay bugs? he performed this when he came to my school and that shit was funny as fuck especially because a lot of the audience was LGBT ppl and we like Got It he’s
vampireapologist-archive-deacti:This morning at brunch the server came out and he was like “unfortunately we don’t have ice right now because a server just broke a glass in it” and we were all like “no that’s fine I think
loloftheday: Our cat had all four roommates feeding him each day because he acted like he was starving and we didn’t know that the other roommate already fed him. This was our solution, hopefully he will slim down a bit.
torpidgilliver: dean-the-piesexual: OK STORY TIME I WAS BABYSITTING THIS 6 YEAR OLD BOY AND WE ATE POPSICLES, THIS WAS THE JOKE ON MINE AND I TOLD IT TO HIM, BECAUSE THATS WHAT YOU DO WITH JOKES AND SO LIKE A DAY LATER I GET THIS CALL FROM HIS MOM AND
queerallman: one time my girlfriend texted me this blurry picture of a thermometer and there was a second where i had a heart attack because i thought it was a pregnancy test but then i came to the realization that we’re lesbians
ninjagiry: nicoception: this was the saddest shit i’ve ever seen. no like were we actually supposed to think this was funny as kids? Because it messed me up for like a week. That dog legitimately thought his friend got BAKED INTO COOKIES WHAT IS
felkina: “Mmm daddy yes like that! Your big for me tonight! Much more then usual! Was it because I was a bad girl and told mummy what we do? Do you have to punish my naughty pussy for making you favour me over her? Why aren’t you even angry? Your
ohwtsons: “When I was eight, I was confused about being called ‘bossy’ because I wanted to direct the plays that we would put on for our parents. But the boys were not. When at 14, I started to be sexualized by certain elements of the media. When
acapellainferno: “DIGNITY”: Chile has had enoughWe’re not protesting because of the subway ticket price (”it’s not 30 pesos, it’s 30 years!” as we scream in the streets), that only was the last straw:We’ve been feeling anger and humiliation
rankers26: sheneedsmorecum: I met her at her office after work. We had to be quiet because the office manager was still in the office. I think you can hear us whispering that we were cumming. I am way too lucky to have her in my life!!! Mantap
askinnyblackman: we joke about this but in norfolk va people actually called the police because there was a labradoodle that got loose and they thought it was a baby lion
rupertgrnt: “When I was eight, I was confused about being called ‘bossy’ because I wanted to direct the plays that we would put on for our parents. But the boys were not. When at 14, I started to be sexualized by certain elements of the media.
jef-el-rey: life-of-beyonce: Blow I shot in Houston, Texas.And I grew up in Funplex which is a skating rink that we went back too and it was so strange because like one of my first dates with my first boyfriend was at Funplex and now I got the whole
champaynes: i thought it was important that we went on and said “hi” to fans and “thank you very much for getting us to where we are” because it’s all, it literally is all about the fans (x)
odgehog: sherlockedforwho: taintedhumor: this is my blogging face I literally had to stop and smile because this was exactly what my face looked like I like how we all reblog this knowing that we have to physically stop everything to smile.
yesterday in my pole class I felt so badass because now I have my own pole at home I can practice so when we were trying to pull ourselves up or hold our weight up I COULD DO IT AND I WAS LIKE HELL YEAH and we learned two spins that I got pretty easily!!!
wayward-hobbit: “As long as I can remember, when I was a little kid I have always been conscious that we are here for a limited period. Not really fearing death at all, but as a little boy I did resent it. I thought it was unfair because there
loloftheday:Our cat had all four roommates feeding him each day because he acted like he was starving and we didn’t know that the other roommate already fed him. This was our solution, hopefully he will slim down a bit.
cuminsidemysister: Mom was in the shower so we took that as the signal to continue our taboo affair. Good thing Sarah was on the pill because she knew how much I disliked condoms.
thatneoncrisis: thatneoncrisis: thatneoncrisis: With all the lore we’re getting for Alternia the fact Karkat was never found out just gets fucking funnier Like. We know because of marvus and ardata that trolls could hide their signs or switch them
leonardo-dicaprio-daily: It wasn’t the era of penetrating Internet paparazzi that we have now. But my name wasn’t me anymore. I was sort of this thing. Kate felt it, too. But a lot of the attention was on me because of the teenage girls who repeatedly
forgottenhouses:This house is called “Nothing Special”. It really isn’t anything special. We couldn’t make it inside because there was no floor. Everything in the house had disappeared — it was just an empty shell. A good buddy of mine that
latenighthush: latenighthush: GIRLS ACTUALLY DO THIS WHEN WE GET REALLY HAPPY LIKE THAT WE SMILE AND CANT STAY STILL AND GET A LIL BIT EMBARRASSED ABT IT RT IF RELATABLE RT BECAUSE THIS WAS ME ALL YESTERDAY .
bxbs: bishopmyles: chantelleluvsyouu: 2damnfeisty: fonzworthcutlass: jalissachanel: We are so fucking magic like 😢😍😍😩😩😩 I was waiting on that last note This was magical because them easy nots to hit. Wow this brings back memories.
When I was in NYC this summer my friend did loads of coke and her nose sporadically started bleeding but instead of not taking more she told her other friend that it was bleeding because she got hit in the face with a door so we didn’t have
siblings-with-benefits: royalsiblings:I promised my sister I wouldn’t put it in, and we’re done this many times before, just rubbing together until we both came. But that day, something happened to me. Maybe it’s because she was ovulating and her
queenleft:It was only on a halt, they never stopped the pipeline. What we have to understand … is that these devils are going to do whatever they want because they can and they want to. Doesn’t matter if its legal or illegal Even when we protest,
