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“Can I come over? I’ll scrub your floors, if you get what I mean.”
“It’s a drugs bust. I’ll bring the drugs; you bring the bust.”
“I would frequent cafes just to have a meeting with you.”
“You’re gonna need a blanket when you see the size of my cock.”
“Want to see how far down this tan really goes?” Submitted by turtleplz.
“People who don’t find me attractive? Not my division.”
“I’d share deodorant with you even if it was for men.”
“I know caring is not an advantage, but that hasn’t stopped me from caring about you.”
“Your Moves Like Jagger make me want to Stay Alive.”
“I put the ‘wood’ in 'Westwood.’”
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“Will you join my football team and raise five children with me?”
“I have cake in both hands; I’ll have to use my mouth.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“Wanna see where my division really is?” Submitted by itsnotokaytolickyourfriends.
“You have very sexy skin that I wouldn’t mind making into shoes.” Submitted by britishentertainmentobsession.
“Wanna see MY crown jewels?” Submitted by custardcreems.
“You can stand under my umbrella.” Submitted by anonymous.
“If there was a fire, you’d be my priority exposed.”
“I’ll expose my priorities if you’ll set me on fire.” Submitted by thefinalmix.
“Want me to make you moan like my text alert?”
“I’d like to get a double room in Dartmoor with you.”
“Will you be my division?”
“If you were my holiday, I wouldn’t need to fancy another one.”
“My dick is so huge, my doggy style is referred to as Baskerville Hound style.”
“Yes, I said that the laptop was in THE bedroom. No, that wasn’t a typo.”
“Let me be your umbrella. You can open me over your ‘head’ any time you want.” Submitted by thedithatcould.
“Shall I show you the code to my safe?”
“I won’t just be mother– I’ll be a MILF.”
“Rank isn’t the only thing I enjoy pulling.” Submitted by custardcreems.
“Let’s film a different kind of video on my phone.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“Mind if I stick my ‘umbrella’ in your 'division’?”
“Are you for men? Because I’d like to wear you… on my penis.”
“Want to see what else I keep hidden in my bra?”
“I’m not just a woman– I’m the Woman woman!”
“Shall we play doctor? Army doctor, that is.”
“I may be on a diet, but I’d still lick your ‘frosting.’”
“How’d you like to help me make child number six?” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“You. Me. Three continents. How about it?”
“England would fall if you left me.”
“I would make you scream my name even if we were in the Diogenes Club.”
“I’d go on a second date with you even if we got kidnapped by Chinese smugglers during our first.”
“How about you get off of that phone and let me show you how much fun we can have in the back seat of this car?”
“I’d Stay Alive for you.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“Would you like to be wearing this jumper tomorrow morning?” Submitted by herbailiwick.
“I may be a blind banker, but I bet I can make you fall for me with two seconds of silence.”
“I would give you the good pill every time.”
“Excuse me, but did you say ‘Fuck the police’? You must be my division.”
“I’ll ‘scrub’ your 'floor’ if you’ll let me wear your deodorant.” Submitted by anonymous.
“Honey, you should see me in a crown… and nothing else.”
“So, you’re a sniper? Just how good is your aim in bed?” Submitted by anonymous.
“I’m what people DO!”
“Will you be my live-in normal?”
“I have an app that can steal anything… including your heart.”
“Mrs. Hudson, are you trying to seduce me?”
“I could never forget you, even if my dad gave me TD12.”
“Are you an unanswered question on my mantle? Because I want to stab you… with my penis.”
The best of postmortem Jim (seasons three and four), based on number of notes.
The tale of a boy, his very special umbrella, and a few jealous people.
I… I don’t even know, you guys. It was supposed to be something cute with Rosie’s first Easter and some domestic Johnlock, but then there was a murder bunny and an infant somehow able to solve crimes and it all turned to crack. I regret nothing.Hap
In Eurus’s defense, Sharon from the PTA totally deserved to have her head severed and stuffed with candy.Happy Mother’s Day, all!~ Froggy, your admin
