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“I know Richard Brook was a lie, but I’d like to see you in handcuffs anyway.”
“I want to have more meetings with you than Magnussen had with the prime minister.”
“I would spend the night at your place even if it was a scuzz dump.”
“Without you, my heart is like the coin that Mary shot… There’s an empty hole in it.”
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“I would turn back your watch during your friend’s fake suicide just to spend more time with you.”
“Without you, my heart is as broken as Mrs. Hudson’s hip.”
“I want you wrapped around me more tightly than my purple shirt.”
“I’d let you stay in my bedroom even if you didn’t need the space.”
“I’m a fan of yours– type B, that is.”
“You put the ‘bae’ in Baker Street.”
“You’re the boomerang to my hiker… Throwing you away would kill me.”
“A headphones-wearing bison isn’t the only thing I’d like up against my wall.”
“Redbeard isn’t the only one I’d like to be petting.”
“I bet you can make me scream… and I don’t mean like Claudette Bruhl.”
“I think about Redbeard when I want to calm down, but I think about you when I want to get excited.”
“I only have earbuds for you.”
“I heard you want the D… and I’m not talking about deductions.”
“Forget the crime scene… The only body I want to be checking out is yours.”
“When I said I’d get you off, I wasn’t just talking about the murder charge.”
“I.O.U. a fall… into my bed.”
“If you were my drug, I wouldn’t need a case to justify doing you.”
“I would murder a blackmailing newspaper proprietor for you.” Based on a suggestion by madspades.
“Whip me like one of your dead girls.” Submitted by madspades.
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“I would kick my parents out if you came over.”
“I love you more than Carl Powers loved his shoes.”
“My love for you isn’t like Lord Moran’s bomb– it doesn’t have an off switch.”
“Wanna see my secret tattoo?”
“I would punch the chief superintendent just because he called you a weirdo.”
Bruh… Bruh, wait… I just remembered… We ain’t even American, bruh.
“You make me blush so much, my face is the same color as Jennifer Wilson’s wardrobe.”
“I always hear ‘suck my face’ when you’re speaking, but it’s usually subtext.” Submitted by Courtney (no username).
“My text alert isn’t the only way you can hear me orgasm.”
“I cannot eliminate being with you, therefore it must not be impossible.”
“What’s your star sign? I don’t know mine because I deleted the solar system.”
The best of “Shezza,” from bbcsherlockpickuplines.
“You’re the only cabbie whose head is not the only thing I want to see.” Submitted by unicorn-enthusiast.
“Lestrade will find his division before I find someone better than you.”
“I know your friends don’t all hate you. I only wrote that essay so I could have you all to myself.”
“I’m not just a soldier, doctor, and blogger… I’m also a lover.”
“You are a man, and good at it… but I think you’d be even better at being my man.”
“I want to be the first one you call for after waking up from being drugged by a dominatrix.”
“May I twist and diffuse your hair?”
“I’m not a dragon for you to slay… I’m a dragon for you to lay.”
“Because you know I’m all about that case, ‘bout that case.”
“Do you like solving crimes? Because I’ve got a vacancy.” Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“Brainy’s the new sexy, but your looks are just old fashioned sexy.” Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“Sentiment is a chemical defect found in the losing side. I guess I’m a loser now.” Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“Judging by the turn-ups on your jeans, you’d be a pretty good father to my children.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“So, you say you’re on fire… Sounds like you need my hose.”Suggested by someone I know in real life, who doesn’t have a Tumblr and is too embarrassed to take credit for the idea anyway.
“I’d rip your clothes off in a darkened swimming pool even if people would talk.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“I ship us like Mrs. Hudson ships Johnlock.”Based on a suggestion by amylemoymoy.
“I’d love your mind even if it wasn’t a palace.”
“My death may have been fake, but my love for you is real.”
“I can’t keep my eyes off of you… so I’m upgrading your surveillance status to grade three active.”
“I would stop your cab just to welcome you to London.”
“Why keep your eyeballs in the microwave when you can keep them on me?”
“The skull on the mantle isn’t the only bone I’d like to take.”
