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“I would say sweet things to you even if I knew that bombs have off switches.”

“I would say sweet things to you even if I knew that bombs have off switches.”

“Tie me up like a Serbian with a cheating wife and no electricity in his bathroom would.”

“Tie me up like a Serbian with a cheating wife and no electricity in his bathroom would.”

“I bet I could deduce your sexual orientation even if you weren’t wearing underwear.”

“I bet I could deduce your sexual orientation even if you weren’t wearing underwear.”

“Mycroft can resist a game of Deductions easier than I can resist you.”

“Mycroft can resist a game of Deductions easier than I can resist you.”

“Are you my mind palace? Because I want to kick everyone out of the room and get inside you.”

“Are you my mind palace? Because I want to kick everyone out of the room and get inside you.”

“My love for you is even more enormous than 1880s Mycroft.”

“My love for you is even more enormous than 1880s Mycroft.”

“Emelia Ricoletti’s corpse isn’t the only thing that’s going to be rising tonight.”

“Emelia Ricoletti’s corpse isn’t the only thing that’s going to be rising tonight.”

“Nobody has more features of interest than you.”

“Nobody has more features of interest than you.”

“You are the crack in my lens.”

“You are the crack in my lens.”

“This pistol isn’t the only thing I’d like on the tip of my tongue.”

“This pistol isn’t the only thing I’d like on the tip of my tongue.”

“Are you a gong? Or a touch of the dramatic? Because I could never resist you.”

“Are you a gong? Or a touch of the dramatic? Because I could never resist you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s grave? Because I dig you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s grave? Because I dig you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s wedding song? Because I could never forget you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s wedding song? Because I could never forget you.”

“Are you Irene Adler? Because I’d like to keep a picture of you in my pocket watch.”Based on a suggestion by @cat-n-claw.

“Are you Irene Adler? Because I’d like to keep a picture of you in my pocket watch.”Based on a suggestion by @cat-n-claw.

“I could break every bone in your body while naming them, but right now there’s only one bone of yours I’m interested in.”

“I could break every bone in your body while naming them, but right now there’s only one bone of yours I’m interested in.”

“I may not be a corpse, but I would let you whip me even if there wasn’t a medical point to it.”

“I may not be a corpse, but I would let you whip me even if there wasn’t a medical point to it.”

“Suicide as street theatre and murder by corpse aren’t the only ways I can spoil you.”

“Suicide as street theatre and murder by corpse aren’t the only ways I can spoil you.”

“May I be your unsavory companion of dubious morals?”

“May I be your unsavory companion of dubious morals?”

“Holmes says that the fair sex is my department. Shall I prove it?”

“Holmes says that the fair sex is my department. Shall I prove it?”

“Criminal masterminds don’t really have special outfits, but I’ll make an exception for you in the bedroom.”

“Criminal masterminds don’t really have special outfits, but I’ll make an exception for you in the bedroom.”

“You’re clearly acclimatized to never getting to the end of a sentence. I could give you something else to do with your mouth, if you’d like.”

“You’re clearly acclimatized to never getting to the end of a sentence. I could give you something else to do with your mouth, if you’d like.”

“Forget the hanging in Wandsworth– I’d like to take a ‘professional’ interest in how well you’re hung.”

“Forget the hanging in Wandsworth– I’d like to take a ‘professional’ interest in how well you’re hung.”

“Unprincipled drug addict or not, I’ll gladly be your gentleman hero.”

“Unprincipled drug addict or not, I’ll gladly be your gentleman hero.”

“I would give you dancing lessons even if it meant your Sign Language needed work.”

“I would give you dancing lessons even if it meant your Sign Language needed work.”

“Are you a future world? Because I have a conjecture of how I might fit inside you.”

“Are you a future world? Because I have a conjecture of how I might fit inside you.”

“Sitting in the Carmichaels’ greenhouse isn’t the only thing we can do together that’s murder on the knees.”

“Sitting in the Carmichaels’ greenhouse isn’t the only thing we can do together that’s murder on the knees.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s ghost? Because I want you to be my boo.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s ghost? Because I want you to be my boo.”

“I would kick Moriarty over a waterfall for you.”

“I would kick Moriarty over a waterfall for you.”

“My feelings for you are so blindingly obvious, even Lestrade could work them out.”

“My feelings for you are so blindingly obvious, even Lestrade could work them out.”

“My love for you is increasing faster than Mycroft’s weight.”

“My love for you is increasing faster than Mycroft’s weight.”

“I must go deep into myself to solve this case… but first I’d like to be deep into you.”

“I must go deep into myself to solve this case… but first I’d like to be deep into you.”

“Are you the Carmichaels’ broken window? Because there’s only one of you.”

“Are you the Carmichaels’ broken window? Because there’s only one of you.”

“I don’t care whether you’re a Viennese alienist or a retired army surgeon– you can ask me any curious questions you like.”

“I don’t care whether you’re a Viennese alienist or a retired army surgeon– you can ask me any curious questions you like.”

“If Moriarty suggested that you and I elope, I would not find it impertinent or offensive.”

“If Moriarty suggested that you and I elope, I would not find it impertinent or offensive.”

“Forget literary criticism by means of satire. I won’t be talking because my mouth will be preoccupied.”

“Forget literary criticism by means of satire. I won’t be talking because my mouth will be preoccupied.”

“The only papers I want floating in my mind palace are love letters from you.”

“The only papers I want floating in my mind palace are love letters from you.”

“I’m a storyteller. I know when I’m in one. And meeting you was clearly my happily ever after.”

“I’m a storyteller. I know when I’m in one. And meeting you was clearly my happily ever after.”

“Communicating in the Diogenes Club isn’t the only thing I can do with these hands.”

“Communicating in the Diogenes Club isn’t the only thing I can do with these hands.”

“I would leave a note at the scene of a crime I didn’t commit just to ask if you missed me.”

“I would leave a note at the scene of a crime I didn’t commit just to ask if you missed me.”

“I may have addressed over forty percent of my remarks to your decanter, but what I’m really thirsty for is you.”

“I may have addressed over forty percent of my remarks to your decanter, but what I’m really thirsty for is you.”

“Is your name Hooper? Because you’d be the most beautiful woman in the room even if you had a mustache.”

“Is your name Hooper? Because you’d be the most beautiful woman in the room even if you had a mustache.”

“Are you a loaded firearm in the pocket of my dressing gown? Because I want to finger you.”

“Are you a loaded firearm in the pocket of my dressing gown? Because I want to finger you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti? Because you got my attention in very efficient fashion.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti? Because you got my attention in very efficient fashion.”

“Your admirably high arches aren’t the only thing I noticed as soon as you stepped into the room.”

“Your admirably high arches aren’t the only thing I noticed as soon as you stepped into the room.”

“From a drop of water, a logician should be able to infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara, but they’re gonna need a hell of a lot more than that to infer how wet I can make you.”

“From a drop of water, a logician should be able to infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara, but they’re gonna need a hell of a lot more than that to infer how wet I can make you.”

“Don’t take Moriarty’s word for it. Come see for yourself how surprisingly comfortable my bed is.”

“Don’t take Moriarty’s word for it. Come see for yourself how surprisingly comfortable my bed is.”

“Are you a drug? Because you alleviate boredom and occasionally heighten my thought processes.”

“Are you a drug? Because you alleviate boredom and occasionally heighten my thought processes.”

“Will you be the pipe to my Holmes? I want you in my mouth.”

“Will you be the pipe to my Holmes? I want you in my mouth.”

“If you thought The Abominable Bride pushed you to mental and physical extremes, you should see what I can do in the bedroom.”

“If you thought The Abominable Bride pushed you to mental and physical extremes, you should see what I can do in the bedroom.”

“Forget morphine or cocaine. I get plenty high just off of your presence.”

“Forget morphine or cocaine. I get plenty high just off of your presence.”

“Are you the dust on Sherlock’s mantle? Because I want to lick you.”

“Are you the dust on Sherlock’s mantle? Because I want to lick you.”

“I want to be more permanently glued to you than Mycroft’s ever expanding backside is to his spot.”

“I want to be more permanently glued to you than Mycroft’s ever expanding backside is to his spot.”

“Are you Eustace Carmichael? Because I want to be with you until five orange pips do us part.”

“Are you Eustace Carmichael? Because I want to be with you until five orange pips do us part.”

“It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the landing… Therefore, it wouldn’t kill you to fall for me.”

“It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the landing… Therefore, it wouldn’t kill you to fall for me.”

“If you were Sherlock’s veins, I would be cocaine just so I could get inside of you.”

“If you were Sherlock’s veins, I would be cocaine just so I could get inside of you.”

“Are you Mary’s pregnancy? Because I noticed you before anyone else did.”

“Are you Mary’s pregnancy? Because I noticed you before anyone else did.”

“Did Holmes learn about jets from you? Because you’re pretty fly.”

“Did Holmes learn about jets from you? Because you’re pretty fly.”

“You don’t need to put on a mustache in order to examine my body.”

“You don’t need to put on a mustache in order to examine my body.”

“If someone accused me of loving you, I’d be guiltier than a brother with a green ladder.”

“If someone accused me of loving you, I’d be guiltier than a brother with a green ladder.”

“I get lost in your eyes easier than other people get lost in the Carmichaels’ hedge maze.”

“I get lost in your eyes easier than other people get lost in the Carmichaels’ hedge maze.”

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