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“I think about Redbeard when I want to calm down, but I think about you when I want to get excited.”
“I only have earbuds for you.”
“You can imagine the Christmas dinners, but I’d much rather you be there to experience them yourself.”
“I heard you want the D… and I’m not talking about deductions.”
“Forget the crime scene… The only body I want to be checking out is yours.”
“When I said I’d get you off, I wasn’t just talking about the murder charge.”
“I.O.U. a fall… into my bed.”
“If you were my drug, I wouldn’t need a case to justify doing you.”
“You could make me feel alive even if I were one of Molly’s cadavers.” Based on a suggestion by madspades.
“I would murder a blackmailing newspaper proprietor for you.” Based on a suggestion by madspades.
“I’d let a strange woman abduct me as long as she was taking me to you.”
“Whip me like one of your dead girls.” Submitted by madspades.
“I love you more than Carl Powers loved his shoes.”
“Don’t hate the dragon slayer. Hate the game.”
“My love for you isn’t like Lord Moran’s bomb– it doesn’t have an off switch.”
“Wanna see my secret tattoo?”
“I would punch the chief superintendent just because he called you a weirdo.”
Bruh… Bruh, wait… I just remembered… We ain’t even American, bruh.
“You make me blush so much, my face is the same color as Jennifer Wilson’s wardrobe.”
“I wish I was Irene’s phone just so I could get into your cleavage.”
“Are you frequenting cafes? Because you are smoking.”
“My anaconda don’t want none unless you got glow-in-the-dark buns, hun.”
“If you be my goldfish, I promise to keep you plenty wet.”
“I always hear ‘suck my face’ when you’re speaking, but it’s usually subtext.” Submitted by Courtney (no username).
“My text alert isn’t the only way you can hear me orgasm.”
“Why don’t you play Operation with me instead? You’ll never have to handle a broken heart.”
“Are you Anderson’s fake Jack the Ripper? Because I want to bone you.”
“Which hurt more: When you fell from Bart’s or when you fell from Heaven?”
“I cannot eliminate being with you, therefore it must not be impossible.”
“Forget Andrew West’s missile plans… The real missile is the one in my pants.”
Merry Christmas (or whatever you celebrate), Tumblr! Here is the source for the “missile toe” image.
“What’s your star sign? I don’t know mine because I deleted the solar system.”
“I hope our relationship lasts longer than John’s mustache.”
The best of “Shezza,” from bbcsherlockpickuplines.
Happy new year, Tumblr! Hope it’s not meretricious ;) I made this late at night so it might not be funny now, but I dunno– I think the world might actually be a better place with Mrs. Hudson ruling it.
The top 10 pick-up lines of 2014. Happy new year from bbcsherlockpickuplines!
“You’re the only cabbie whose head is not the only thing I want to see.” Submitted by unicorn-enthusiast.
“Are you a sitty thing? Because I would love to sit on you.” Submitted by snickersa2010.
“Lestrade will find his division before I find someone better than you.”
“I may not be Uncle Rudy, but I’ll cross-dress for you if that’s what you’re into.”
