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witneyhouston: me: hi, can i have a large— starbucks employee: you mean a venti? me: can we not do this
kidouyuuto: whendaybreaks: chuckquizmo: sweeterthanmydreams: auujehjrgnmuuoingjoskjcnjsjshdo: “Never give up” Doesn’t that just say lettuce…? no it says never give up it says “retasu” it’s fucking lettuce no it says never give
kwieta: the “you wouldnt download a pizza” campaign is the worst way to convince people not to steal music of course i would download a pizza do u know who i am
katara: my favorite sex position is holding hands
davidisbeyonce: Your password is too weak does it even lift?
yanagoya: Goal reached
queefed: rlyjewish: queefed: You know what’s kind of beautiful? In British, you don’t really say, “butt,” you say, “bum.” I love that. bum. “In British” are you fucking kidding me no i am not fukcing kidding u,. this is tumbler.
gamsee: *hangs up mistletoe on my blog* Hey,
nayx: *wears a trenchcoat* hey kid. wanna buy some pancake mix
thebaronofthebells: tis the season to be self-loathing fa la la la la la la i hate myself
marshyoftheblobs: AM I DOING THIS RIGHT IS CLINT EMPOWERED ENOUGH FOR YOU.
slapmytitties: what do you call an italian hooker? a pastatute
lovinglydull: anywigwilldo: Too soon Bats. Batdouche
greydelisle: It’s really dangerous when people jaywalk while I’m texting.
jinglebellsprouts: theabstruseanon: bakuraisjustbritish: dompteuseartist: shufflingthesalad: chimerawaffles: shufflingthesalad: jerk-frost: goldenschlong: someone’s going to be in big treble I have no time for this bassic bitch. I think
jesuschristvevo: what grades determine: whether you will be on the honor roll or not what colleges will want to accept you how angry your parents will be at you what grades DO NOT determine: your creativity your emotional capabilities whether youre a
leopadra: I always plan conversations that I’m never gonna have
timandfern: Are Cole jokes still a thing because I’ve got a suite one.
whatever mom
nayx: what do you do if you have a cool super rad post idea but youre in the middle of being murdered
fasterfood: want to hear this great joke i saw on the internet the other day ur blog
txtpostprince: you know you’re ugly when you start quoting Marylin Monroe
bitched: its actually against the law for betty white to die
xobreeox55: things i am scared of doing: ordering food in a restaurant walking down a busy high street on my own talking to people on the phone eating in front of people asking for help in a shop meeting new people being in a big crowd
Welcome to my fantasy zone.
thefrogman: Disney Endings Redux
t92
chotpot: ugly-wan: My faith in humanity is restored. oklahoma’s great sometimes
lolsofunny: via lolsofunny=)
Why can't rappers rap about nice things?
Are we rolling?
heyitshardcastle: christmasblogger: Penguin falls down resulting in best sound ever [x] I laughed at this for 5 minutes.
multipack: do u think slugs have any ambitions in life or do they just go with the flow
i am beginning to get genuinely concerned about my lack of motivation to do anything ever.
peenslayer: shout out to me for not killing myself yet
rem-ains: Ellie: Can I hold your hand?Carl: No.Ellie: But why?Carl: Because it’ll hurt when you let go. This post ruined my life.
hefallsapart: Goodbye forever.
yoshisnortscoke: My version of flirting is continuously insulting the person until they love me
Bückstabü
edwad: #AirplanePickUpLines : nice legs what time do they get the fuck off the back of my chair
sapphicslut: HE’S SO FUCKING EXCITED TO SWEEP THE FUCKING TABLE
whorenament: I still don’t know how to accept compliments without either sounding cocky or unappreciative
zggamboni: thefreshprinceeffect: splendidly-english: more painful than any bullet Satan’s handgun. can we just talk about how this gun works whoever designed it is a genius
jacks-cold-sweat: wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle YEAH!
meatmodel: my talents include bullshitting essays at 12am
hotboyproblems: I hope my nintendogs are alright, I haven’t fed them in 6 years
foxnewsofficial: i would rather communicate through interpretive dance than have you call me on the phone
vvierd: you looked in my direction so now we are dating
tardiswanted: if Taylor Swift joined tumblr, she’d make an album about all the people that unfollowed her
Remember when Katy Perry found a loaded gun in Rihanna’s purse during the VMA’s.
awesomephilia: Purr = happy cat noise Gato = Spanish for cat Purgatory = infinite realm of happy Spanish cats
